Hello, I'm stuck in suburbia

I've been dreaming of building my own home since forever, and lately that idea has started to crystalize and become clearer, and while it's still years in the future before I can make any real moves, it doesn't feel anymore so much like a dream as something I can start to plan for and work toward.

Hoping this will be a good place to learn even more, talk to people who've "been there done that", etc.

Hi everyone!

Welcome to Permies! So glad to meet you--it's fantastic you're here!

I too want to escape from my urbia--although I do really love my Southern town. But I have found there are so many ways to live the Permie life in the city even while waiting for more/better someday. Our little front-yard garden is one of the happiest things in our life, and it always surprises me, every year!

And so I have learned that if we make the most of what we have now, it will allow us the wisdom to make the most of any and all opportunities to come--many of which will be very much in disguise.

Anyway, pep talk over! Again, welcome and I hope you have loads of fun around here!

Hi Ned,

Welcome to Permies.

Welcome, Ned!

Rachel offers excellent wisdom. I respectfully suggest that you heed her words.

Homesteading/permaculture is a mindset, a philosophy, a way of viewing and interacting with the world. It's not necessarily about a location. Urban homesteaders have a ton of ready resources at hand, if they know how to use them. And they can develop a ton of skills they absolutely need before they make the big leap into the country. Don't discount it. Leverage it to your advantage. Start today. A shovel in the ground is the right path. My 2c.

Welcome, Ned!! I feel your pain! It took us years to finally get out of the 'burbs. We started out trapped in a teeny-tiny apartment, with no south facing anything, no window ledges, no patio or balcony... It was frustrating, at the least. Then, we upgraded to a loft apartment with a patio, and the freedom to plant, within reason, though still no south facing anything. A few more years, and boom! We're in the country, on land, with gardens and livestock, and busting our humps to get & keep all these awesome new balls in the air. It ain't easy - but it CAN be done!

Thanks for the warm welcome, everyone!

I guess I should clarify that my situation isn't quite as dour as the title of my welcome post made it sound. I have a simple, spacious, 1970s split-level house on a clover-and-dandelion-covered 1/2 acre with several fruit and sugar maple trees, and a decent-sized garden (I dug it, my wife planted and tends it), in a spread-out neighborhood that is gorgeous, quiet, friendly, and safe. My kids love it here and all signs indicate it's gonna be a great place to spend the next 15 years, just as it's treated us well for the previous 3.

When we first moved in, people would ask how I like my neighborhood and over time I developed a habit of answering honestly: "It's not paradise, but it's close."

I get grumpy when I walk around, especially in the newer adjacent neighborhoods that were farms two summers ago, where mini-mansions are being squeezed practically on top of each other. Or when I see lawn "care" companies delivering poisons to my neighbors. Or when I'm stuck in traffic next to giant trucks and SUVs that always seem to be empty except their drivers. Or when I sit and stew on any of these things late at night. I write extensive volumes in my mind of everything that's wrong with the suburban lifestyle and way of building homes.

But really, although I have big plans for where I want to live once my kids are out the house (refining these plans are why I joined the forum), I'm generally quite happy to be here now, and I've lived in much worse places. I will go out on the grass now and sip coffee and watch the rabbits.

One of the things I learned in my homesteading experience is the importance of good neighbors.  Good neighbors now and in the future. Your original post appears to reflect that understanding.  You need to have a general understanding of who lives near the property you plan on obtaining, as well as who is likely to move there…..a much more difficult guess.   On my first try I did not consider neighbors and had major headaches. I now live on 11 acres behind an old cemetery and key holed into a 500+ acre farm that has been in the family for 3 generations.   None of my neighbors make much noise or bother me, and nothing I do bothers them.   Few other people know we are here.

Several years back we had a pleasant experience.  I was away on business and my wife needed an ambulance .. she had cut herself bad enough that she felt it was dangerous to drive. . A Sheriff’s deputy showed up with the ambulance.   The deputy looked around confused at the homestead kitchen in our 70’s ranch, glanced out the back door at the high tunnel, looked out the front door at the pond and solar, and declared in astonishment, “ My God, you have a real homestead here!”