True Stories of My Life

I was at the supermarket one day, looked down to find a whole frozen salmon for 10 bucks. The thing was a beauty. I had to have it.
The next store over was a big box hardware store. I found a benchtop band saw for $99 plus tax. Threw that in the back of the truck beside the salmon.
Got home, sliced the salmon into steaks before it thawed out, wrapped em up, tossed in the freezer. I cleaned up the band saw real good, put it back in the box, called a buddy of mine who did the maintenance at an apartment complex:
"Hey Bob, I got a band saw on sale at the hardware store. Want me to pick one up for you? Can't beat the price."
Dropped off his new saw half an hour later, got my money back.

Grew up picking berries in the summer. A long day working in a hot field demands a lunch that will stick to your ribs.
Mother made Spammiches:
Through the grinder put:
3-4 hard boiled eggs
an onion
a can of SPAM
blend with mayonnaise and a splash of mustard, plus salt and pepper to taste.
Nothing better than SPAM, eggs, and mayonnaise on some stale bread sitting in the hot sun half the day.

While working as a deputy one of my fellow deputies was sent to a domestic dispute. When he got there he found a young woman tied with belts and a piece of rope in the front yard with her husband and father standing nearby. He ordered the two to untie her and should have suspected something when one held her down and the other undid the bindings. They both jumped back and the young woman immediately attacked the deputy. His call for assistance from the relatives went unheeded and as I rolled up he was still trying to secure her. You could actually hear her teeth snap together as she tried to bite. We were able to secure the gal and get her into the car. When he asked the father husband duo why they didn't help they replied that it had taken them a half hour to tie her up the first time and they were just too tired to go at it again.

Seen below is a manual apple peeler. It peels, cores, and slices an apple with a few turns of the handle. Being somewhat mechanical I removed the handle at the long shaft and attached a cordless drill.
Squeezed the trigger...apple was peeled, cored, and sliced in a second. Peelings were hitting the ceiling.