Travis, I deeply empathize with your situation. As someone whose motto is "busy hands are happy hands," it was challenging (ok, it was life-sucking and excruciating) to figure out how to do life in a whole new way. I've dealt with a host of autoimmune issues for the last 20+ years.....it's really hard, and I'm still trying to figure it out. I burned the candle at both ends, and found ways to light it in the middle when necessary. Now, when I overspend
energy, I'm in debt for days. It used to be weeks, but I'm getting a little wiser, now. Finally.
Have you heard of the "
spoon theory?"
webpage Every now and then, I need to re-read it, grieve my losses, count my blessings, then move forward.
I think it is very important to be honest with people about your situation. It's hard. I confess, I was much less inwardly gracious than I could have been to people who I felt were whiners about their physical limitations. That judgment on my part made me unwilling to tell people what was going on with my life. I put on my "I'm healthy" mask, and when exhaustion hit like a bomb, and I couldn't get out of bed, I'd have to cancel. I realized I looked like a flake, and was very unreliable. When I took the time to explain a bit about what life was like, it took a lot of pressure off me, and off relationships. People realized I wasn't avoiding, or flaking, I was physically unable to cash that check I tried to write. My closest friends are my wise counselors, because I allow them to see my real life, and they speak truths that I need to hear.
I'd encourage you to see if there are things you can pursue diet-wise that might take some of the stress and strain off your system. It's challenging to figure out what your body needs, but if you can eliminate things that may be adding to the chaos your body is fighting through, you may find you have more resources you can spend in ways you'd prefer. Personally, I do best on a full-out carnivore diet. As someone who was happiest with grain, cheese and fruit, it was a long, hard transition, but the change was pretty miraculous. I'm doing things now that I thought I would never do again, though on a much smaller scale. (I thought I hit the jackpot, went on an energy-spending spree, had a bankruptcy, but I'm making my way through.) When I stray from my diet, I'm back to square one....exhausted, in excruciating pain, can't think my way out of a paper bag, and a bit emotionally unhinged. I have no idea what your body needs, but it's definitely worth investigating. Some people do great on an AIP diet, others on
vegetarian, keto works for some, grain-free for others. 15 years ago, I eliminated nightshade vegetables because of joint pain. 8 years ago, I went gluten-free. 4 years ago, I cut out grains. 3 years ago, I switched to all organic. Each of those eliminations helped a little. But I kept finding more foods that caused me troubles. When my daughter rightly encouraged me to follow a diet for IBS, I had a bit of a break-down. WHAT WILL I BE ABLE TO EAT??? Then I stumbled onto the carnivore diet, and I actually have a LIFE instead of a slow slide to nothingness. It's been almost a year, now. I'm still low-income, as far as energy/stamina go, but it's a whole lot better than being sub-poverty/bankrupt continually.
What you're experiencing, other people will
experience. What you learn can be passed on to others. I don't have financial wealth to leave as an inheritance for my children. I don't have a lot of worldly goods. But I can pass on the the things I've learned as I've fought through the decades with autoimmune issues. Unfortunately, my daughters inherited my screwed up genes, and they're dealing with similar issues. I was not the best "good example" but sometimes being the "horrible warning" is more effective. They're quite a ways ahead, and it won't take them 20 years to figure things out on their personal health journey. I guess what I'm trying to say is this. Your life is a
gift. It's given to you, and you give it to those in your circle. You might rather give ANYTHING ELSE, but your experiences, your learnings, your example, all that may be a light for someone else who's in the darkness you're currently walking through. As you beat yourself a new path, you're making it easier for others looking for a way out of a similar maze.
All the empathy in the world isn't really helpful as far as money, so on a more practical level....how can you earn a living to support your family?
We've never had a lot of money, so we've had to be careful in our spending. I try to apply that thriftiness to consumption of energy....it obviously doesn't work amazingly, because it takes a lot of energy to save money, but when I keep the idea of saving in mind, it helps me live a bit more wisely. When you're low on money AND energy, it's a double blow. It does help me to remember that I'm at poverty-level in the energy department. I can't live like the "rich" person I once was. I've learned to "work smart, not hard," and tools are my friend. We just bought a t post puller. It galled me to pay $45 bucks, but it's a lot more fiscally responsible for us than paying an hourly wage to have someone pull dozens of posts around our property. Something that was impossible for me is now totally doable with the right leverage, metal, ingenuity, and all that. Because you know what it means to have more desire than energy and strength, you may come up with some amazing tools that help people who are in similar circumstances, as far as wanting to do things their body can't. If you haven't yet, search for "gardening tools for disabled." It's pretty amazing. I'd pay a pretty penny for a wooden
gardening bench/stool that was sturdy, but I can't find one anywhere for any price, and I've been searching for weeks. If you're internet savvy, you might be able to build an etailing site specializing in tools for people with limitations of any kind. As people have suggested, you tube could be a good avenue....you could do reviews on tools meant for disabilities, with the fee-applied link thingies. You might even be able to get free equipment to review, so the expenditure could eventually potentially be not huge.
I've learned to be content in doing quieter things. I've become a very talented crocheter out of self-defense, really. It might be worth taking up knitting, knotting, beading, crocheting, weaving, or some other art/hand craft you have the dexterity, creativity, strength and desire to pursue....something you wouldn't have considered before because there were other things to consume you. When you feel you've acquired some skill, you can teach it to others. Again...you tube.... But you could also combine your artistry with glamping/wofati-ing/tiny-house, etc.
Art retreats are really expensive, so marketed well, it could be a decent income stream. You've been given the opportunity for a kind of fresh start, or do-over. It's an adventure, even if you didn't go looking for it.
My one piece of advice as far as making money....in your situation, I'd really encourage you to pursue something that you LOVE. Something that energizes your soul. You really have to make a new life....your old one is gone. As you build your new life, make sure it's one you want to live for a good, long while.
All the best to you!
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