I think perimenopause is often a scapegoat for totally normal emotions in an insane world.
I've seen it couched in terms of the stages of a woman's life: in the "maiden" phase, we seek to fit in and find our place in society (and often a mate). In the "mother" phase, we're too busy raising little ones (or babying a big project, like a challenging early career, for those who choose not to become mothers) to challenge the statu quo and there's just no room for deeper introspection. Plus, we're pumped full of hormones that help us tolerate a lot of hard things.
Then one gets to an age (which I've seen called the "queen") where one has one's ducks more or less in row, we've acquired enough wisdom and skills to be able to struggle less, our kids are getting to an age where they require less round-the-clock hands on care... and then the bullshit of it all hits us.
Things we shouldn't have tolerated in the first place, like useless partners or meaningless jobs now feel unbearable. Compromises we were making for the sake of being acceptable in someone else's gaze start feeling downright silly. A lot of anger at injustices bubbles up.
And then we're told it's all hormones, and we really need to fix that, because a wrathful middle aged woman who no longer gives a shit is a dangerous thing.
Now, I'm sure some women truly need hormone replacement therapy for health reasons. But I see so many women my age (mid-forties) juggling way too many responsibilities, getting way too little support, and wondering if menopause is to blame for how tired and angry they feel. The real question is "by what miracle were they not tired and angry before".
My personal experience is that perimenopause is currently treating me well as long as I don't fight it, and channel it into creative endeavours. Yes, there's hot flashes, hair sprouting everywhere and some weight gain. But there's also a lot of inner power and a good dose of "don't mess with me" energy I'm learning to wield.
My girls are going through puberty, and we understand that yes, there are discomforts, emotional outbursts and rebellions. But we don't pump young girls full of hormones just to keep them subdued and obedient; we know that's an important stage towards adulthood. I see menopause as the mirror of that transformation, and my gateway towards more wisdom.
