I’ve enjoyed reading the many responses and can empathize with the difficulties many have experienced in finding someone who has similar core values as them in our current culture, even with the online ‘dating’ opportunities. I wrote about my comical experience here: https://permies.com/t/174516/put
One of my favorite books on the topic (what’s wrong with dating today) is How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk by John Van Epp, PhD. I think it’s a great book for women and men (or however you identify) who are looking to find a healthy and enjoyable, monogamous, LTR that could end in marriage. I listened to the audiobook but would’ve like a hard copy to highlight and take notes in. I often share the statistics with friends (and even acquaintances) ask why their relationships didn’t work out or follow a similar destructive pattern.
I’ve certainly fallen in love with jerks in my lifetime and as an imperfect human I can always work on being less of a ‘jerkette’ myself.
This book does talk about the bonding chemicals and negative repercussions of the ‘hookup’ lifestyles mentioned in posts above.
I’ve personally found ‘dating’ is just not for me.
Best wishes on finding that special someone whether dating or NOT dating,
Suzanne Shaddix wrote: For the mutation I have, supplementing with a high quality B vitamin complex helps with methylation. There are other nutrients that are also needed for the methylation process.
I was very deficient in B vitamins as well as C and some others needed for methylation. Since I've been supplementing, my health has improved, and it even eliminates my post-menopausal hot flashes. Hope this info will help.
Do you have a favorite B & C supplement to aid in this?
I have sensitivity to fluorescent lighting and even a lot of LEDs bother me. Maybe enough of us with Paul can bring back the incandescent bulb? The BBIB movement? (A girl can dream!)
As an educator, I did find myself having strange health symptoms in the classrooms (unusual headaches, fatigue, and concentration problems) and I realized one day there was the wifi connector/repeater or whatever in the middle of the classroom above our heads… that plus 30 chrome books in use. ICK! I can hear that low buzz of a TV when it’s on mute…
I think that like most exposure to poison or toxic guck, EMFs and dirty electricity are probably effecting everyone but in different ways: subtle or blatant, all at once or little by little. And as shared in previous responses, combinations of exposures can make a difference too. (I appreciate the commenters who, though skeptical, are validating our fellow permies experiences… anecdotal records are valuable in science… especially when who nowadays would fund, run & publish scientific evidences against major governments & corporations? Few and far between.
The Weston A Price Foundation (WAPF) has had several speakers and authors at it’s conferences, on it’s blog, and in it’s magazine that talk about the dangers of EMFs, 5G, and dirty electricity.
One guest speaker at a WAPF conference had a Q&A afterwards where a young mom came up and asked about her electric car… she wanted something safe for her new baby. The speaker said get rid of it, immediately and that she could never in good conscience recommend an electric vehicle. (I wish I had the notes I took handy to share!) Another person asked about solar panels on the house. She said the worse location was above where you’d sleep, and it would be ideal to have them somewhere other than what you were living in.
In my last rental home, we only plugged in the WiFi when we were going to use it and I bought us air tube headsets and phone cases from https://www.defendershield.com/ They were expensive but I made cutbacks in other areas of my budget.
My previous teaching job offered us Apple Bluetooth earbuds and a FitBit and many of my co-workers had Apple Watches (all the rage.) I said no thank you to these gifts not knowing what long term effects they’ll have on us.
I thought about making my own clothing, curtains, and bedding using the fabric embedded with silver as it seemed like the most cost effective way… several people make almost a tent around and under their bed with it and use their cell phones to test if it blocks cell & wifi service. (On some YouTube videos, it appears to really work for them.)
One of the YouTubing minimalist, homeschooling mamas I used to really enjoy watching, Darci Isabella, did a more recent video about her own experiences with reactions to EMFs: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zQKO1wc-wb0
I hope we can find some less expensive solutions for protecting ourselves from harm.
He makes some great points similar to those R Ranson also brings up:
“I don’t see many vegan diets that are not tied into the industrialized and globalized food system”
“My agenda is to:
contribute to a more sustainable… world...”
“ I stand against the same things that many vegans stand against. I stand against factory farming, torturing of animals, animal slavery, speciesism, mass extinction of species, the pollution and destruction of our earth and so on.”
“The extreme black and white viewpoints that I stand against are:
that veganism is the only ethical or sustainable way for humans to eat.
that veganism is the only healthy way or most superior way for humans to eat.
that veganism is right for every human on earth.
that all meat and animal products at any level are unhealthy for the human body.
that all meat and animal products at any level are environmentally destructive.
that meat is murder.
that a person can’t eat meat and be an environmentalist.
that veganism and vegetarianism vs. a diet including meat or animal products is as clear cut as made out to be.”
Generally, when approached by militant vegan/vegetarian friends or acquaintances I ask about their pets and/or children… I humorously share with them that the animals I choose to eat are living a much healthier and normal life then their pets & children. The animals I choose to eat are generally raised outside in fresh air, sunshine and eating a biologically correct organic diet. They move about freely… Most people’s pets and children, even vegan’s ones, are eating processed food and not getting outside enough or having enough space or natural movement. (I don’t mean to be rude or offensive by sharing this with them… I earnestly hope it turns on a lightbulb in their mind to a bigger picture and furthers the conversation.)
A Bible/health question I have had for a long time (possibly for creationists out there) do you think Adam and Eve needed to drink water in the garden of Eden or do you think their raw vegan diet options were so lush and filled with moisture that it wasn’t needed?
(Perhaps for non-creationists), do you think that water has been a necessity for humans to live since the beginning of their existence? How much water? What kind of water?
In addition to thinking about water…
Were humans carnivores or vegans since the beginning of their existence? How do these beliefs effect your permaculture philosophy and design? Have your beliefs changed over time?
I was raised vegetarian and have eaten vegan for a season… now I eat biblically kosher but I try to eat seasonal, local & organic when possible.
Religion, education, international living, budget, health challenges and allergies have all influenced my dietary decisions.
I have read lots of different books, including autobiographies, and interviewed many people about their health journeys (and permaculture journeys.)
Nicole Alderman wrote:I don't know what the post were, but I do know that we staff have to try to prevent flame wars. We've gotten pretty good at realizing what sort of things will set off other people to start arguing religion.
Thanks for specifying Nicole. I don’t want any flame wars or to waste moderators’ precious volunteered time.
I am genuinely curious if people here on permies think that water has been a necessity for humans to live since the beginning of time? How much water? What kind of water? Were humans carnivores or vegans since the beginning of time? How would/do these effect their permaculture philosophy and design? Have their beliefs changed over time?
Anyhoo, I’m not feeling very well today so I ought to be looking for home remedies that I haven’t tried yet.
I bought stainless steel baking pans for my toaster oven but I didn’t think about what could be lurking on the inside of the toaster oven’s walls… would it be the same though, for standard sized ovens?
I’ve had multiple posts flagged on permies for phrasing that I felt was very general and peaceable, referring to creationism as a theory and biblical theology as an idea for an explanation of things… and the staff flags them for revision. (I don’t bother to submit them to a larger staff review because… it just doesn’t seem worth the time or effort.) I am making contributions to these forums using an old iPhone, which can be quite time consuming and limiting. I’ve just deleted what I think they meant is not what they want and move on. (These were not cider press posts… I felt the connections were relevant and I don’t think they would’ve been ‘offensive’ per say if they were from another religious background like Buddhism or Native American beliefs.)
If I posted a rant using every word in the book… I think it would receive apples instead of flags for revision.
This saddens me. But as others have pointed out in the profanity sections of the cider press… this is a voluntary forum.
I do appreciate this forum and the contributors and have chalked it up to… if I want to play in this sandbox, these are the rules.
But I, and friends I’ve mentioned this to, are wondering… why is mentioning the Bible or biblical principles here and generally within society more offensive than posting & using profanity?
I LOVE the Libby App, which is the free library app I use to listen to borrowed audiobooks. I haven’t used it much to listen to specific permaculture or homesteading books (only saw frugalwoods in my history.) As an aside, it also helps if you’re able to have library cards from various libraries.
However, books that I’ve listened to that I think are related to lifestyle changes I’ve wanted to make because I’m also interested in permaculture & homesteading have been…
About minimalism, debt freedom & reducing consumption:
Zero Waste Home by Bea Johnson
Project 333 by Courtney Carver
The Year of Less by Cait Flanders
The Total Money Makeover by Dave Ramsey
Meet the Frugalwoods by Elizabeth Willard Thames
Health/Science/Lifestyle ones (that I haven’t finished yet):
Atomic Habits by James Clear
Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker
Breath by James Nelson
In one of the permies finance forums someone recommended Your Money or Your Life by Vicky Robin, so I’m waiting for that one.
I have ended up purchasing audiobooks I knew I’d be interested in revisiting in Apple Books and on audible when I couldn’t find them at the libraries.
I used to listen to some podcasts but I seem to get annoyed with all the off topic useless babble. If I only have a limited time to listen to something, it’s important to me that it’s meaningful.
Anyhoo, I hope these are helpful for someone out there.
When you give him the milk, he'll probably ask you for a straw.”
(For those of you who might not be familiar with the children’s book written by Laura Numeroff… these are the beginning lines in quite the clever and silly sequence of the circular tale of events that occur in If You Give a Mouse a Cookie.)
I think of these lines often in my life, and not just because I like cookies, but because it’s funny how one thing leads to another. I thought about the storylines today as I listened to more of the audiobook, Breath, by James Nestor.
Just a precautionary warning…
If you read or listen to the book Breath, you’ll probably (like me) try taping your mouth closed while you sleep.
(Or attempt other strategies/health hacks described in his book.)
What are the “If you… then” things happening in your life?
What books are you reading that are calling you to present action?
thomas rubino wrote:Isn't that what chocolate chip cookies and milk are for???
Chocolate cake topped with ice cream???
Are there no other confirmed chocoholics out there???
Am I the last one???
Scary mid day thoughts indeed!
I was going to say: a pint of ice cream [dairy free for me] (especially during the summer when it’s still hot in the evening.)
I do like the organic millet ramen from Costco, as a soup for with stir fry veggies for a done in 10 minutes dinner.
Or I do any type of pasta and about 3-5 minutes before it’s al dente I throw in a veggie with the noodles in the boiling water and then add tomato sauce after it’s strained. Boiling the veggies Al dente with the pasta saves me one more pot/pan to wash.
White rice in the rice cooker or instant pot is done in 4 minutes paired with some steamed veggies topped with sesame oil and an Asian sweet or soy sauce is another go to when I don’t have time or desire to put forth more effort.
Harmony d'Eyre wrote:I reckoned the rust superficial after shoving my camera up in the hole, and decided it was within my diy comfort-zone. I'm now a home-owner and happy with my investment!
How is the trailer holding up for you? Would you like to show us the improvements you’ve made?
I am also a newbie who was recently looking to buy my first RV/Travel trailer. Due to some recent health issues a friend and I have had due to mold exposure, she recommended that I be cautious of water damage and look for signs of mildew & mold.
Do you have previous experience & tools DIYing these sort of things?
I’m not sure if this would save you electricity or not… but in Mexico I had friends who used portable electric emersion heaters in buckets of water to heat water for dishwashing & for bucket showers.
I don’t know what brand they used or where they bought them. I wouldn’t even come close to knowing how to DIY one but it seemed like a useful tool to have.
This is what a quick search on Amazon found: Limited-time deal: GESAIL 1000W Electric Immersion Heater, Bucket Water Heater with 304 Stainless-Steel Guard, Submersible Bucket Heater with Thermostat and Auto Shutoff, Heats 5 Gallons Water in Minutes https://a.co/d/jlUkyHD
I am still on here and I do try to check permies regularly. I recently shared with someone, “my search (for a mate/partner/husband) is more like a browse… like a browse one does at a store when they already expect not to find anything they’ll buy but they choose to enjoy the looking anyway.”
I am certainly open to what God has for me and how it comes to pass… even if that would be via this site but most days I do feel content in my singleness. I would LOVE to have a life partner (and a biological family) and enjoy all the many benefits that come along with that… but if it never happens, that’s okay too, I suppose. After living outside of the U.S., I have a new appreciation for some of the simple pleasures in life.
I try to purple moosage people I don’t publicly respond to. Right now, I’m in a bit of a crazy transition where I quit my job (which included my housing) and am figuring out what’s next… slower than I’d like.
I appreciate you all reading my quirky post and your responses. I also very much appreciate having this online community.
I definitely go back and forth on this idea & topic. Though, I prefer waxing over shaving because it lasts longer but it is painful and can cause skin irritation.
I do tend to yield to my partner’s preference on this, when I have a partner. It’s not a non-negotiable for me but I prefer to be more natural, especially during seasons when I’m not wearing short sleeve tops.
I think every woman should try it at least once… and if nothing else to evaluate our own beauty standards, understanding how culture, upbringing, and media has shaped our opinions on what we think is beautiful & desirable for ourselves and others.
It’s a good experiment. I thought I’d feel more comfortable having hairy underarms in public the more I tried it… but I still feel an unspoken societal pressure and nervous about people’s reactions. I still don’t find women having hairy underarms ‘beautiful’ or ‘normal’ but it’s been nice fighting the beauty norms internally & externally.
As an educator and caregiver of children, I have attempted to normalize natural beauty without makeup or chemicals. I think it’s important to grow up feeling comfortable in our own skin… and hair.
I also think like most aspects of our body… hair serves a beneficial purpose. (I’d love to do a research article on that one day.)
I really can’t tell if the Feliway products made a difference. I think I’ll probably need to get some type of prescription for my kitty when we fly back. She did better than I thought but definitely freaked out at least 5 times and I feel bad for her emotional turmoil.
She did great going through the metal detector at the TSA checkpoint and waiting for the flights in the airport.
She does act more like a wet noodle with the harness on but I was happy how quickly she adjusted to it.
I’ve never used any flea/tick/pest control on her before but where we lived previously, I could keep them under control through natural means like sweeping & vacuuming often and brushing/combing her daily. Now that we are in PA, ticks, mosquitoes and pests are much bigger of a problem. Does anyone have any experience with BRAVECTO or collar repellants or Wondercide?
I’d like to put something natural on her but if it doesn’t work, I’d hate for she or I or my friends’ pets & family members to get ticks!
I did watch a cool video by Dr. Becker on Mercola Pets about making a homemade repellant… but I haven’t tried making it yet.
My ‘beauty’ routine has definitely changed over the years. In my teens and 20’s, I went out dancing and singing karaoke a lot. I wore Mac foundation, Maybelline mascara (the iconic green and bright pink container) and glitter eyeliner I designed myself… before it became a big thing. And sometimes, we got home so late, we slept with it on. I wasn’t super into fragrances… and I didn’t wear makeup or do my hair daily but I regularly got dressed up with friends, wore high heels and it was lots of fun.
Well, my skin feels better without anything on it and even then my eyelashes felt ‘heavy’ with mascara on. And well, high heels and most beauty products aren’t healthy.
For the last several years, I’ve just used an oil (olive, avocado, sunflower, argon…) on my face as a moisturizer. I did try a few natural moisturizers but I wanted to minimize waste and to buy things that had multiple uses.
As I approach 40, I realize that wrinkles or more gracefully known as ‘expression lines’ will likely show more… but I don’t necessarily like mine. (I’ve always been a very facially expressive person!)
A few weeks ago, I found myself very curious about a recommendation made by one of the crunchy mama blogger’s e-mail lists I subscribe to for a product called ‘frownies’ https://www.frownies.com/ Since my job has been extra stressful lately… I found myself sleeping with a scrunched up face and it wasn’t a good look in the morning… so I bit the bullet and bought some, along with some rose water spray… not the most permies purchase but one of those… I can’t believe that I’m gonna be 40! ones.
It’s a little embarrassing… but why not embarrass myself with all you wonderful people.
Any of you have unusual approaching or in my 40’s purchases that you never thought you’d buy?
It has a “Neutralizing Phytic Acid” chart and it also talks about the hardness of water and it’s effects on cooking beans. Age of beans can determine the cooking time which in turn could affect how well one digests them.The nourishing traditions cookbook suggests soaking in lemon juice, vinegar or whey but I haven’t noticed a significant difference with that. I did try sprouting lentils once or twice before cooking but the texture is a lot to get used to.
Side note: Peruvian beans make an excellent and creamy hummus.
I too like beans more than they like me back… but not to the point of being in pain. Thanks for sharing your experiment with us! I might try implementing eating some beans every day to see if that makes a difference in my body’s reaction to them.
I had to laugh when I just read the daily-ish… and wondered… how did Nicole know I made beans for dinner tonight?!
Thanks for that input John. I definitely do the calm conversation and even petting her against the outside of the screen of the carrier seems to help calm her down.
I just ordered a product called Feliway, https://us.feliway.com/products/feliway-mulitcat-starter-set, I could use this at home while I pack and in the moving transition and if I leave her with someone to watch (who already has cats)… I also ordered a spray to put in her carrier for the car/plane. The reviews were mixed, some said it worked great, others it didn’t work at all.
Another website also recommended a product called Thundershirt which is supposed to calm anxiety and thus helps unwanted behaviors due to stress.
I found out if I take her to PA, I technically will need proof of a rabies vaccine and a clear bill of health from a certified vet. This makes my practically free trip… now cost quite a bit of $. However, considering I’m not sure how long I’m staying in PA… possibly more than 1 month… maybe it would be okay.
It’s disappointing that she needs a rabies vaccine and clean bill of health to travel from CA to PA but didn’t need one to cross the international border from Mexico into CA.
I did find information about PureVax which is a somewhat new line of feline vaccines that don’t have adjuvants (that can cause death, disease & disabilities) but now I can’t seem to figure out how to find a vet that carries/offers those nearby.
My kitty does hunt for and feast on mice nearby for at least a few hours each day but she is more of a house cat than a barn cat. Being all black also makes her stand out quite a bit for predators like hawks.
I rescued a kitten 🐈⬛ from a ministry I worked at. Her mother lived in the chicken coop and I noticed the kitten wasn’t growing (like her siblings.) For three months, a little boy at the ministry and I brought her and her mom food and water. One day I noticed that the mom was pregnant again and was not sharing her food with ‘kitty’ so the day the kitten was brave enough to let me touch her, I took her in and she did grow but she’s still a lot smaller than her siblings.
Anyhoo, I adopted kitty out to two people and paid for her food & litter to ensure she had a nice life. Her second family needed to give her back to me due to job loss and move. I am now moving and looking for a new job and perhaps a new start. I have booked my ticket and hers to fly to Pennsylvania.
In order to get her to my current home, it was about a 10 hour drive and she meowed on and off the first few hours…
Any travel tips for car or plane travel with cats? (Yes, I’ve “googled it” but I’m asking you all fellow permies.)
I did pet her while she was in the cat carrier and put her on my lap under a sweatshirt on the drive but those are things I can’t do on a plane.
I’ve read websites suggesting sedation but because of that thing going around, pets cannot travel as cargo and are not allowed to be sedated…
I was thinking that over the next couple weeks I should take her on short drives to help her get used to her carrier more and the noises and movement… I don’t want to be THAT person with the crying cat on the flights…
I would just have someone care for her while I’m away but most friends of mine have left CA or have other pet responsibilities. She does have a history of getting along well with other cats and dogs. I will probably be gone for a month.
Jay Angler wrote:I certainly wouldn't want to risk a lot of food, but adding a single noodle to the boiling water might be a good test as the food may be more prone to absorbing the chemical scent than the water.
I did the 1 noodle water test (I had to buy more noodles) and I didn’t notice any soapy taste or smell so hooray!
Travis Johnson wrote: A vacation? I am on vacation everyday as I can do whatever I want, when I want. I have nothing to take a vacation from.
Thanks for sharing! What an inspiring post! This quote was especially excellent.
The alternative I used for neither renting (with money) nor having a mortgage was bartering.
When I was younger, I contracted babysitting/nannying a certain number of hours per month for housing. The homes I stayed in where far above what I could’ve afforded then (or now) and I was able to work full-time elsewhere to cover my other living costs. I also, as a young single woman, was able to be a lot safer because I lived with a family and in low crime neighborhoods.
They were also blessed because not only did they have trustworthy guaranteed childcare for certain hours, they also never had to pay for a pet or house sitter if they went out of town.
(Of course, I recommend that if someone is bartering to have clear boundaries and expectations with lots of details so both parties understand expectations. One situation was a written contract and another was just verbal because there were years of trust built.)
I thought of this post and the early retirement posts.
I liked that this article covered the ‘Baby Steps.’
Debt Freedom and being at the beginning of Baby Step 4 allowed me to take almost a 2 year ‘Gap year’ and pursue philanthropic interests. Though I’m bummed to go back to Step 2 (because of some dental work I want done a specific way) and Step 3… it was a wonderful feeling to not be a slave to my job like many of my co-workers who stayed in a toxic work environment for years longer than I did because they had debt and didn’t keep a budget. It was also exhilarating to go serve at-risk youth and abused mothers and children without having to ask for money (depend on it) from others to fund my livelihood while I did acts of service.
My most conflicting idea in the Dave Ramsey books and other money saving books is their food budget/health philosophy and the types of foods they recommend. As a permie, voting with my dollar for local, organic, non-GMO produce is important to me… as well as pastured eggs, grass fed (& finished beef) so on and so forth. Because our food contributes to our health, and as permies the food we consume often relates our core values… it is part of the budget that I couldn’t skimp on. That being said, eating at home, packing lunches & snacks & water bottles, eating more organic rice & beans, using glass reusable storage containers… composting, gardening, and meal planning all helped.
The good debt, bad debt is a challenging topic and I’d say that many successful people I’ve met looked to me like they followed a blend of Dave Ramsey’s and Robert Kiyosaki’s philosophy (author of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.) …I’ve never been a big risk taker with money but that has prevented me from seeing larger gains. However, I sure wish I started investing in aggressive mutual funds right out of high school. It is one of my regrets.
Retirement: I also think our world is changing drastically and it seems difficult to predict if retirement strategies that previously and currently work, will work in the future. After teaching in various capacities for the last 20 years and then in public schools… I’d much rather live a Gert lifestyle than work to obtain what I’d need to to retire ‘well’ but working as a teacher, in a traditional sense for the next 25-30 years. Do I trust the state of CA to manage what I’d be mandatorily paying into to be there in 25 years until I die? (I don’t.) Teaching has also morphed into something I find very difficult to participate in after being exposed to John Taylor Gatto books.
Permies has really inspired me to live more of a ‘conserver’ lifestyle and the diverse DIY skills of the permies on this website never cease to amaze me! The book, How to Survive without a Salary, reminds me a lot of Gert while implementing some of the shared philosophies of Dave Ramsey.
I absolutely agree. And not just water issues but electricity issues. I currently live where we use well water to flush the toilet but the well uses a pump that is controlled by electricity… so no electricity no water for flushing.
In Mexico, similar thing… where I worked lastthe pumps were controlled by electricity and we frequently had power outages. We had no outhouses on that property, so we literally could not go to the bathroom on site for hours and there were about 20 of us.
thomas rubino wrote: Saw this on the shark tank of all places ... Piper Wai, all natural underarm deodorant.
This is a product that holds up to all its claims No sweat/no smell and no toxic chemicals slowly killing you so your (oder) does not offend anyone...
If the woman in your life is still using the nasty chemicals that are in (regular) underarm deodorant then do yourself a favor and buy some piper wai for her , she will be so happy that you may find yourself with a happy purring woman who feels healthy and smells good ... a win win situation.
I love watching shark tank! I thoroughly enjoyed reading this post.
Kudos to you for helping your woman feel healthy, smell good & purr.
Perhaps a future title should be “No, I’m not pregnant…” with the punchline I use budgets.
I think your parallel was quite humorous and realistic!
Since I’m only 1 person, I find the free version of the EveryDollar app to be good for me. In my paper planner I would hand write overall monthly costs that vary like gas & food to plan better for the following year. Before using the app I used a simple 3”x5” card. I had irregular income but like I said, only for 1 person it wasn’t as challenging to manage as for an entire family of business owner.
T.J. Stewart wrote:I will preface this by saying that I am a home educating mother of 11 (10 of whom are still living at home, 7 of whom do not work outside the home). So that's a family of 12 that I shop and cook for. Food costs could be REAL around here, if we didn't eat the way we do (very little processed foods). With Ohio food prices, I could easily feed my entire family for 400.00 a month (if I had to). My current budget is around 700.00 monthly (with splurges).
Wow! You are my hero. Where can I read/learn more about this?