Hi there, I was thinking this morning about my daughter's dry eyes, which I always medicate with a simple saline solution. Then I got to wondering if there is possibly an herb that would soothe those eyes as a tea, my immediate thought was comfrey, then plantain--since both of these plants are mucilaginous and soothing to other skin and membranes, it seemed like either could work. Anybody have any experience with this type of thing, or any reasons why it could be a bad idea? Thanks in advance for any advice you can offer!
When you're sitting in a bar alone and you should be scrolling facebook or swiping tinder like a good millennial, but instead you're looking up predator-resistant fowl for your new homestead and searching up local alternatives to chinese herbs for a solid covid cure...
So many lovely stories on this thread, thanks everyone for taking the time to share.
My first and still favorite flower is daffodil, my grandmother had planted a row of them right beside our garden, and I adored them. They were the only "useless ornamental" that my dad could be bothered to keep around, mostly because he knew how much I loved them. When I arrived to what I thought would be my forever home here in southern Chile I planted a row of them beside my garden in honor of those two people, who are now gone. Then when I was deciding where I would go when I needed to leave that home, I knew the place when I arrived to a driveway lined with flowering daffodils.
When I ran across a dogwood in a local nursery, I had to buy it and plant it despite the price because it reminded me of hiking with my mom through a forest of flowering dogwood as a child, while she explained the symbolic meaning of their four-petaled flowers.
Now in my new life, which has been full of difficult new starts, I find pride and peaceknowing that I am surrounded by the orchard of fruit trees that my dad always dreamed of having.
Others that always make me stop and pause, rich with nostalgia, are tomatoes (never could get over the smell of a crushed tomato leaf), blackberry (even though they're invasive here and I've been forced to start chopping them), plantain (the first medicinal herb I identified and used), and probably a hundred others that I'm forgetting at the moment.
I always swore that the first man who bought me a dozen red roses would be eliminated immediately for his lack of creativity, but I do love growing roses. They tell me that in her younger years my grandmother was an exceptional rose gardener, and it's partly because of that that my first tattoo was a rose. They also remind me of my father-in-law, a sweet old bachelor who loved his roses and would proudly cut me a bouquet when I was around. Can't beat wild rosehip jelly either, no matter how many times you get pricked picking them!
When your version of connecting with your generation is carrying your portable speaker with you to listen to Taylor Swift while you chop blackberries and cut firewood. You come back satisfied because you left the blackberries to mulch the fruit trees and didn't eliminate the naturally-occurring tree guilds in the abandoned orchard, but you don't remember any of the songs you listened to because you were too proud that you thought of a way to use cut blackberries as a double-purpose mulch and grazer repellent for your future potato patch.
Today I washed several days worth of dishes, using Paul's water-conserving method from the video.
I also had 2 beers, then homemade goulash, a cup of strong black coffee, and then made oatmeal raisin cookies for the whole gang. Quite a successful Friday night if you ask me.
Also composted oatstraw left over from an infusion, dumped it right into my favorite geranium. Did a comparison with another geranium, mulching her with cornhusks from the sweet corn we used in the goulash. We'll see who ends up happier.
This evening I meditated for the first time in a reallly long time. First time I've done guided meditation, and it was fantastic. Up to the moment it has eliminated a sciatic/lumbar and leg pain that has debilitated me for months now.
One boyfriend tried calling me "babycakes". I put a clear and immediate stop to that kind of language, the relationship lasted only a few short weeks after that.
My husband and I call each other "cutie", which I like. I also have him in my phone as "Superman", which he likes and makes me smirk.
I have invented no end of cute nicknames for my kids over years--cutiebug, sillybutt, grumpybutt, crazyhead. Of course it's fairly apparent how these arose during the many and varied scenes and situations of childhood. My favorite invention is "scraggamuffin", as my kids are true permies and diehard dirt lovers, also they are fans of water conservation so they avoid bathing whenever possible.
An idea I didn't see is a woodsman's first-aid kit, maybe learning how to make tinctures, poultices, bandages from old clothing, effective splints from scavenged materials, safe/responsible foraging of wild and cultivated medicinal herbs, etc.
Marie Abell wrote:Bypassers cocked their heads funny when I crawled up on top of my truck bed to jump on everything to help compact it
Been there, done that - but for us it's a trailer rather than a truck! You'd think Hubby would do it, as he outweighs me by a third, but no - it's always me that's the "branch compactor"!
We lithe, agile feminine types always out-compete the males in the real athletics, don't we 🤣
Very impressive bramble-hauling, Nicole!! Regrettably, I didn't take a picture of my last bramble-and-fruit-tree-pruning-hauling adventure. Bypassers cocked their heads funny when I crawled up on top of my truck bed to jump on everything to help compact it 😆
...staying away from home is stressful because you have to throw veggie scraps, cardboard, eggshells, and leftover bones into the...trash!?
...you're feeling ill and your kid runs outside to pick the perfect herb to make you feel better
...you drive by piles of grass clippings and cut brush on the side of the road and think, can I fit that in the back of the truck on top of the groceries?
Robin Harvey wrote:Although his death was sudden, in my personal experience, it might be better than a slow decent to the inevitable. That way it doesn't become something one might obsess about for an extended period of time. More like ripping the band aide off instead of slowly pulling it away. I know that may sound harsh, but that is not my intent. Time will pass and if handled properly, time will heal. Thank God for every day you are given.
r
Thanks very much, Robin. I think that especially for our situation, a long slow suffering would have been much more difficult in many ways.
One bright side I have seen through all of this is that it was a wake-up call for me to listen and pay attention to my kids. Even though I was very aware and mature as a small child, I had forgotten how much children see and absorb, the depth of their experience. So this sadness, although so rough to live through, made me wake up and I feel much closer to my kids now than before. I believe they feel a lot safer and more open with me as well.
And as you say, this loss has reminded us all to enjoy and be grateful for each and every day we share.
This made me LOL. My son is a maca baby. Congratulations on a healthy birth, btw.
I don't have specific experience with chaga, but I have been frustrated by the dearth of information on which plants/weeds/herbs are ok/safe during pregnancy and breastfeeding. A couple of things I have found that are helpful in solving these riddles when you can't find specific studies--one, check to make sure that the herb in question isn't an emmenagogue, aka contains compounds that can stimulate the uterus and encourage bleeding. Two, see if you can find out whether this herb is known to cause liver damage; this can be confusing, since studies on things like comfrey or yarrow have been a bit skewed. But if you can find someone(s) who have used it for years, that's another great resource that might help you make your decision. Researching traditional uses and restrictions of the herb can also be enlightening.
Andy John wrote:Everybody is different. Something to understand. SAD goes both ways. I lived in the Sonoran Desert for 15 years. I asked a professional about what seemed like a sudden onset of depression for no reason...turns out SAD can happen with any "climate" that is oppressive to the organism.
Color therapy along with temp-adjusted lighting can be helpful, no matter which direction SAD affects you.
The trick is finding the seasonal range and variation that best fits "you uniquely".
This is a great perspective. The main problem with modern medicine, imo, is failing to realize that each individual is unique--even if their unique traits or needs don't make sense to the rest of us. I am a sun-lover, for instance, but my kids who have been raised most or all of their lives here in southern Chile, sometimes tire of hotter weather and wish for rain and fog. I think that's weird, but hey, it's what they need. And an important part of being a healthy organism is recognizing your unique needs and working towards getting those things for yourself, not things that everybody else thinks you should want or need.
I reuse plastic feed bags to gather mulch when I'm out, like pine straw, or grass clippings from random lawns. They also work to corral random bits of kindling, or to carry around garden tools when I'm too lazy to fix the wheelbarrow tire. They can also be more efficient than a wheelbarrow for moving compost or manure, since you get more accuracy when applying and you save shovel strokes (once to load, none for unloading).
I loooove sun and heat, summertime is totally my jam. So wintertime for me is depressing even without vitamin deficiencies; but I have found a few things that help keep my spirits up...
--go barefoot outside as often as possible. There is something exhilirating about walking around in cold wet grass until your feet are numb. This seems to get my blood flowing and balance my mood.
--keep outside projects going during the winter months; even if it is just feeding the ducks or checking up on my winter potato crop, those things seem to also give me a reason to live so to speak, and keep me moving forward and getting out when otherwise I wouldn't want to.
--we store firewood away from the house, not only because it seems to prevent spider and rat overpopulation on the porches, but it also forces you to get out there, move around, look at everything, breathe some fresh air and get a bit of exercise bringing in a load of wood.
--eat a full balanced diet with lots of colorful veggies and seafood, maybe even some liver or other organs of your choice thrown in there. If you can keep one or two of your milkers going up until at least midwinter, this is a great nutritious food as well (and helps to stagger kidding/calving into later springtime). All of these nutritious foods contain so much more than "just" vitamin D, and winter is traditionally a time when humans look to fatten up a bit and enjoy good food. Vitamin D is stored in fat, so maybe there is a reason behind this instinctual behavior.
--as others have said, if there is sun, drop everything and get out in it! Even if you aren't getting thaat much vitamin D out of it technically speaking, you are gaining or at least breaking even instead of flat-out losing like you would be by staying indoors. Also, I suspect that vitamin D is a vast oversimplification of all of the benefits that you receive from the sun and the outdoors in general. There is something ineffable about looking up at the sun and the way it lights the landscape around you, feeling the earth beneath your feet, the touch of the wind on your skin, even that feeling of being alive when the cold cuts through your body. You can't feel worse from that.
My task today has been to find beauty in places where I don't like being--hospital, supermarket, waiting for a taxi on a city street...and I think I succeeded!
William, did you ever get any info/experience with these ideas? I have always wanted to make beeswax dip candles and am wondering how well your ideas would work, they sound pretty brilliant!
A man and his wife pull up outside a grocery store and park. They see a blond woman at the coke machine put a quarter in and get a coke. They are about to get out of the car and go in, but they pause and watch as the blond puts in another quarter and gets a second coke. They are stupefied as she continues putting in quarters and getting cokes. Finally they get out of the car and rather incredulously ask her, "lady, what are you doing? Don't you know they sell cokes cheaper inside the store??" She rolls her eyes and replies: "well duh, I'm winning!"
I've noticed several times that if someone gives me a plant and then later my relationship with that person fades for whatever reason, the plant will die--no matter how much care I try to give it. If the plant is given with bad motives, no matter how healthy it is when given it will always die. That is my experience, at least. I wonder if this happens to anyone else?
I have definitely noticed that the plants/herbs/weeds I need will show up as I need them, whether they grow near my dwelling or catch my eye as I walk down a sidewalk.
Here in Chile, there is a native tree called Canelo (drimys winteri) that is sacred to the indigenous Mapuche people. They stress the need to ask the Canelo permission before taking its' medicine. I always do this, and many times Canelo has given me wonderfully effective medicine. However, one time a Canelo was blown down in a storm so I harvested some leaves but was unable to ask permission as the tree was already uprooted and thus dead. The medicine I made from the leaves I harvested without permission actually made us sick and created opposite effects of its' usual capabilities (worsening diarrhea instead of curing it, for example).
When my father in law died, it was the middle of winter here and after the casket was loaded into the hearse to be taken to the cemetery, it began to rain so we all waited a few minutes under shelter to let the storm pass. As we all stood together, it began to thunder. We hear thunder here about twice a year, one rumble and it's done. But on this occasion it thundered more than 40 times, with no visible lightning accompanying, and didn't subside until the casket was buried. It was an entirely unique event that was much commented on in our small community. A couple of weeks later I returned to the cemetery with my young daughter to plant flowers on the grave. It was only slightly drizzly, but we also heard thunder on this occasion, again without lightning to be seen anywhere. The strangest thing was that nobody else in the area that we spoke to heard the thunder. We were both very sure of what we heard! An interesting note is that my FIL was well-aware that my husband loves thunder, as they would often comment on their nostalgic memories of thunderstorms back in Texas.
Please disregard my earlier post...I never heard of microdosing until just now. Google answered my question. Now I understand the significance of this post and I shall maintain silence.
So are they speaking only of a trial done with psilocybin pills? As in a lab-produced chemical extract? I would love to see some info on how this might be done in a more natural setting, i.e. super small doses of actual mushrooms or possibly a tincture. For those of us living in the farther reaches of the globe this is the type of thing that would be more accessible and of course sustainable. And anyways I am always suspicious of removing a single component and using it separately from the other elements that nature combined it with.
Thanks for sharing this article! Exciting information.
Thanks, r. That thread is a good read and confirms what I suspected to be the reasoning behind the policy. And again, I do agree with the decision--it just makes sense.
I wrote a post the other day, I thought it was pretty great. In fact, it made my personal record for most apples earned on a single post (4). Somebody even gave me pie for that post! Then, this morning I got an email from girbot advising me that I needed to remove my reference to a certain herb. Well gee. I was a bit miffed for all of 30 seconds, but I quickly made the edit and now my post is back up for the world to see in all its' pithy glory.
Sometimes it's hard to remember that cultural and legal norms can villify or heroize seemingly innocuous things. Especially when said things are illegal in some places but perfectly legal in others! Truthfully after just a bit of consideration it's easy to see how the mention of this type of subject could derail or discolor an otherwise cleanly productive conversation.
For a while, I prohibited bananas in my house. I didn't buy them, eat them, or allow other people to bring them into my house. Do I think bananas are bad? Not really. Do I think that all people everywhere should instate a banana ban in their houses just like me? Nope. But my kids got sick if they ate bananas and they were too little to understand seeing something yummy and not being allowed to eat it. I think about the permies moderation policy as a kind of banana ban. Things might get deleted or disallowed that would work just fine in other places, but it doesn't work here. And that's great. I know I come here for a reason.
I have never really thought of myself as a gentle soul, but I am glad to say that permies is helping me move in that direction. I have been astonished by how the "be nice" rule can be such a productive guide in human interaction. Having come from generations of people who were conversational bludgeoners, it's been quite a change for me but unexpectedly positive. Basically, sharing opinions/perspectives in a friendly manner not only prolongs the conversation, but also increases the likelihood of further conversations, mutual give-and-take, or possibly even friendship. Permies has taught me how to enjoy the broadly colorful spectrum of opinions and perspectives in this community, while carefully manicuring those topics that could blacken that lovely panorama. Think of the wisdom and friendship that we might miss out on without the hard work of the moderation team. Long live Permies!
Marie Abell wrote:
--laugh together. Find a funny movie or even just read the jokes thread here on permies--laughing is truly good medicine and I have seen it help with everything from stomach problems to depression.
Those are my thoughts! I wish all the best for you and your wife.
Also, we have been watching New Girl and The Good Place before bed. Both are comedies and we both enjoy them, but I’m skeptical because of the tvs bright lights. Maybe if we swapped comedies out for reading jokes or listening to something funny, that would work better for her.
LOL I used to watch New Girl with my sister. Funny stuff.
I think we can all agree that TV is bad in theory and in practice, but sometimes for the same active/distracted minds that tend to have problems with depression or insomnia, it can be just the thing. It keeps the eyes and the mind occupied enough with non-stressors that it enables one to relax enough to fall asleep. That's how it works for my insomniac, and sometimes for me too. I think the main problem with screens is the blue light, and as others have mentioned there are various solutions for that. I have heard good things about blublocker glasses (lots of youtubers give out discount codes for them, if you're willing to shop around). I will also say that I've been reading aloud to the kids lately, and that puts my sweetie to sleep like nothing else--so definitely another thing worth trying!
Brody, reading this from your perspective sounds in some ways like my interior dialogue over the past couple of years. My husband, for many complicated reasons, has had off and on insomnia and sleep troubles over the past 7 years, but especially for the past 2 years. I am a rather strict thinker on these matters, sometimes I almost echo my dad's constant maxim: "when the going gets tough, the tough get going". But that way of thinking, although it has helped me get through some rough times, isn't a great basis to build relationships.
A couple of things that I have learned from caring for my sweetie through his ups and downs:
-- caring for a sick spouse isn't as romantic as they make it seem on the movies. It is a drag. Don't expect yourself to think of it any other way--it isn't necessarily instinctive to sacrifice your time/goals/ideas to care for someone who is down, and sometimes you have to bite your tongue and help them the way THEY need to be helped, not the way that you think they need to be helped. We never fought ever until this health crisis happened...there are a lot of expectations and disappointments on both sides, but we have learned together that all of that just has to be put on hold until everything is a little better.
-- they probably blame themselves for how they feel. Just like you do, except they carry a double load of their self-blame plus your blaming them. Nobody could ever feel more depressed or guilty about their fucked-up health than they do, so they don't need you explaining to them all the ways they're doing it wrong. They don't need just one more explanation about just one more thing they could do to fix themselves.
-- statistically the single biggest positive factor in a recovery from illness or addiction is one close friend or family member (as a spouse you get to be both!) who loves and supports the person in recovery. I think that it has to do with the levels of frustration that they deal with, they just need someone who gives them the space and love to help take away that feeling of utter failure and despair. And that space can be the bit of relief they need that enables them to get out of their head and start looking towards changing the future.
All of that being said, these are the things that I've found that I can do that are really helpful to my husband during his difficult times:
--make healthy food accessible and positive, not another item on a list. Making roast beef with veggies or a batch of chicken soup doesn't involve that many minutes of work, but can make the next couple of days easier on you both.
--sharing time and good habits. Like others have mentioned, stretching together or rubbing/massaging her near bedtime can mean so much, and the physical and emotional benefits of loving touch are infinite.
--laugh together. Find a funny movie or even just read the jokes thread here on permies--laughing is truly good medicine and I have seen it help with everything from stomach problems to depression.
--IF she is up to it, get out and do something that you both like. Whatever your thing is, doesn't have to be healthy per se, just something that you both enjoy and will make her feel like a person instead of a problem.
Those are my thoughts! I wish all the best for you and your wife.
Gotcha. A world without clickbait would be a nicer place to live, that's for sure.
I watched your video (all the way to the end!) and I think you could make a great kids channel with this type of content. At least, whenever I'm trying to get paint to dry my kids can't seem to stay away 😁
r ranson wrote:
The big thing is to make sure i don't promise anything other than what is in the video. Have to be totally truthful or youtube will be angry.
Yeah because I've never clicked on a youtube video that was something entirely different than what the thumbnail led me to believe it was. /sarcasm/
... I have nothing useful to contribute. Just wanted to point out youtube's hypocrisy here.
If you are lucky enough to find somebody that is authentically good, please support them and defend them. Pure goodness and decency is rare and desperately needs amplification.
This is such a simple concept and yet so hugely important. I have been close to a few great men I think, good and decent men, yet who never got the support and defense that they deserved because they didn't play to social norms. Their form of dress, or their way of speaking, or maybe just their unwillingness to go to all the parties or kiss the asses that presented themselves. So people judge them to be unworthy of alliance because they don't want to be identified with a social pariah. I won't say that my record of support and defense was always perfect...but I am proud to have finally learned loyalty in my life. And the value of standing for what I believe about a person or idea that has proven their goodness, even if it makes other people squirm.
People love to look back in time at those great men who changed history, and shame the people of that time for not appreciating their genius...yet they are too busy being socially acceptable now to realize that they also are passing by the geniuses of our time because they aren't normal enough.
I like what Sepp Holzer says in the introduction to "Sepp Holzer's Permaculture" : "The fact that I have not let myself be intimidated and do not stay quiet just to please people has given me a reputation for being a 'rebel farmer'. The fact that it is actually necessary to become a 'rebel' to run a farm in harmony with nature is really very sad!"
I don't even know if there's anything else to be said after that.
Another quick tip that has helped me immensely: accepting that if I don't feel up to organizing or cleaning, it's not a good time for me to do it. My energy levels fluctuate, which I've noticed is based on my monthly cycle and also the moon phase. Maybe it isn't that way for everyone, but I definitely notice a correlation there. So on days when I have energy to get shit done, I get it done. On the other days, I focus more on working from my phone, making lists, making a trip to the city (because those are generally my only coffee days so I don't need energy hehehe) or supervising the kids on indoors projects. That way I'm not frustrated or behind on either front, and I get breaks from everything as time goes by. Sometimes it means leaving the kitchen a mess for a couple of days, but I calm myself by reminding me that I am still getting important things done and it won't stay that way forever.
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