Dez's Bootcamp Experience (BRK)

POST 740 (DAY 751, Tuesday, 2022.08.30)
[Morning Entry, Ps T-16]

……. grateful for music.. at my fingertips.. i still remember vividly how sweet the sound.. the melody came from across the room at a house in uganda.. the missionary who was hosting out team's night stay had a mozart cd playing in the background.. and i suddenly found myself entranced, floating around to find the source.. then when i did, sat just outside the door of his office to just soak it in with my eyes closed.. a teammate, Larry, came over to me, because he noticed i was missing.. Larry sat next to me and asked with a big grin, "what are you doing?".. i had no words..

POST 741 (DAY 752, Wednesday, 2022.08.31)
[Morning Entry, Ps T-15]

……. grateful for transparency.. there was a time when I would hold things back.. keep share-worthy information to myself for fear of something.. I guess I was afraid of some negative or painful imagined consequence.. it took a while to really wean myself off of this fear.. fear of transparency.. and so little by little the fear, which were actually like shackles, started to loosen up and eventually came off.. once I started to say the things, I began to realize that other people just didn’t care or mind as much as I thought they would; in fact they’d often laugh a little too, and I found myself laughing along genuinely humored.. they had their own stuff and this stuff that I was sharing was easy to their ears.. what a relief that was to realize..!

My coach told me that there was actually something greater at stake.. my conscience.. aka my self image.. “the pain of discipline weighs ounces; the pain of regret weighs tons..” “to get ready for the freedom you seek, start practicing living in a glass house today..” “live through your values to truly give yourself the chance to fly” .. I wanted freedom more than the shackles of fear.. so I sought discipline in exchange for regret, nervously stepped into my glass house, and flapped my wings a bit.. now I try my best to address the ounces that come with a sense of urgency, before I forget, because one day I might regret it for fear of my imagination.. “what a mind-job”

POST 742 (DAY 753, Thursday, 2022.09.01)
[Morning Entry, Ps T-14]

……. grateful for a warm bed.. unable to work my last job because of chemical sensitivity.. I thought about busking with sunglasses on.. perhaps singing near a park.. that was going to be my final attempt at the money game.. begging for scraps from the rich.. wondering where I’d be sleeping at night.. instead I’m here.. and all I do is help with a smile.. yes, I can do that..! Sign me up please!

POST 743 (DAY 754, Friday, 2022.09.02)
[Morning Entry, Ps T-13]

……. grateful for wellness.. life is robust and yet so fragile.. yesterday one of my friends felt feverish and achy.. she’s okay now, but for a second we were a bit scared, because the symptoms were strange.. pain is usually the body’s way of indicating that there’s something going on that needs attention.. What kind of attention?.. sometimes the body just needs rest.. and that’s why I take so many naps.. here’s to your wellness and mine..!

the black and white one is a bald-faced hornet, Dolichovespula maculata. fairly close relative of the yellowjacket.

POST 744 (DAY 755, Saturday, 2022.09.03)
[Morning Entry, Ps T-12]

……. grateful for catching breath.. most if not all of my needs are met.. a steady schedule and routine (or aka a budget)—check.. a supportive community—check.. vision and values—check.. food, shelter, water, clothes, transportation, skills—check.. gratitude and willingness—also check, and continuously re-checking myself.. I even get to enjoy luxurious things like milk and cereal, or a drive into town to eat a delicious fancy meal.. then I’ll have a day in between to step back and acknowledge all the blessings.. thank you deeply, to all my supporters and friends.. humbled, honored, and privileged to be in your company and service..

Greg—thanks! Cool name.. I like saying it out loud..

POST 745 (DAY 756, Sunday, 2022.09.04)
[Evening Entry, Ps T-11]

……. grateful for collaboration..