Would rather not be single...but

Nicole Blank wrote:Thank you Ben, your words are kind🙂

If I'm a gem💎 sometimes I feel like I must be locked in a chest, sunk at the bottom of the ocean, where no one will ever find me.

That probably testifies to your worth..I’m sure there is one , who when he finds you , will sell what he has for the submarine , to find . people rarely treasure the things they easily obtain

Again Ben kind words, thank you.

That is one thing that's true about myself, I'm not going to be easily obtained.

I don't feel I'm more worthy than any other women out there, who's trying to find her special someone, however when it comes specifically to relationships I'm the most brilliant mastermind that ever lived, when it comes to tactical evasive maneuvers in avoiding potential relationships that might have actually worked out. It's probably the introvert in myself that goes full blown battlefield mode, evade capture at any and all cost.

When I'm with my close circle I'm very funny, and sometimes just stupidly silly, pretty much anyone that actually knows me has told me to shut up at some point or another, this is something most people, I feel, don't get about introverted people, while I might not talk to you, I can and do talk, A LOT sometimes!🙂 But when I go out I'm a totally different person, I'm the ninja assassin that could kill you with my eyeballs, my mom tells me I should smile more to be more approachable, I'm thinking, I am smiling you just can't see it behind the shield that is my face😎

I do realize that this is a self defense/defeating aspect of my personality, especially in light of the fact the over all point of finding the special someone is that you WANT to be caught.

I'm just so very good at not being placed into checkmate.

Nicole Blank wrote:Again Ben kind words, thank you.

That is one thing that's true about myself, I'm not going to be easily obtained.

I don't feel I'm more worthy than any other women out there, who's trying to find her special someone, however when it comes specifically to relationships I'm the most brilliant mastermind that ever lived, when it comes to tactical evasive maneuvers in avoiding potential relationships that might have actually worked out. It's probably the introvert in myself that goes full blown battlefield mode, evade capture at any and all cost.

When I'm with my close circle I'm very funny, and sometimes just stupidly silly, pretty much anyone that actually knows me has told me to shut up at some point or another, this is something most people, I feel, don't get about introverted people, while I might not talk to you, I can and do talk, A LOT sometimes!🙂 But when I go out I'm a totally different person, I'm the ninja assassin that could kill you with my eyeballs, my mom tells me I should smile more to be more approachable, I'm thinking, I am smiling you just can't see it behind the shield that is my face😎

I do realize that this is a self defense/defeating aspect of my personality, especially in light of the fact the over all point of finding the special someone is that you WANT to be caught.

I'm just so very good at not being placed into checkmate.

Sounds like you have it figured out , considerably better than I did , in my past..I quit dating awhile back ..I’d just sit across a table , thinking this just isn’t what I see in my minds eye , again and again ..I’ve felt like , I’d just know it , if that time comes , that I would just know it. I imagine this harmony and progression forward in shared ideas ..I just don’t see things the same way as most people , I’m a real stretch , for most, when it comes to full time Ben

Nicole Blank wrote: I'm the most brilliant mastermind that ever lived, when it comes to tactical evasive maneuvers in avoiding potential relationships that might have actually worked out. It's probably the introvert in myself that goes full blown battlefield mode, evade capture at any and all cost.

This resonates so much with me...big scraggly beard to hide my dimples, says offensive things at the worst moments to see if people are cool or the perpetually offended type, hypothetically defend "the patriarchy", or fracking, just as a thought experiment, to see if the other person actually thinks about things or just reacts emotionally, eating random bugs, stopping to assess roadkill...lol! I don't plan the conversational stuff.  It's all instinctive, based on how my subconscious reacts to clues I get, but I recognize it after the fact.

I know it seems crazy, but it seems like I have three choices:
1. Go with the flow and hope to luck out, which has resulted in me becoming homeless three times.

2. Pretend to be someone I'm not to attract a normie and hope to psychologically manipulate her into being the person I need, like everyone else seems to do...yuck.

3. Just go all out from the get go, so that I know that whoever passes the tests not only really likes me for me, but also has the resilient qualities that I need in a partner.

The show Love Off the Grid keeps bugging me to be on it, but the last date I went on was three years ago, and ended up with me abruptly ending the date two hours in because she crashed and burned on the most important tests.  The casting director interviewed me for an hour and said he was going to put his whole casting team into finding me a match, because he thought I'd be awesome for the show.  Six months later, they wrote back asking if I had found anyone yet..lol!  They sent me another email a couple months ago but I politely declined.  Anyway, after reading your posts, I got a good chuckle out of imagining them filming us pitting our battlefield defenses against each other.  I bet it would be very entertaining regardless of whether we clicked or not.

Michael - your post is awsome!😎

I resignate very much with choice number #3.

And for all that followed it, that's very funny. I've often thought wouldn't it be much easier finding a spouse if we just took it to the battlefield, played for keeps, like a ketch me if you can!🤣 lol!

Haha while this would probably be frowned upon it would be very funny! If anything this thread will start to give people some laughs.

Thought I was the only one who thought like this, if I was going to right a book about how I view dating/relationships, I may title it something like ( The unknown inner workings of an introverted mind)

Your post is funny!

Michael Adamson wrote:

Nicole Blank wrote: I'm the most brilliant mastermind that ever lived, when it comes to tactical evasive maneuvers in avoiding potential relationships that might have actually worked out. It's probably the introvert in myself that goes full blown battlefield mode, evade capture at any and all cost.

This resonates so much with me...big scraggly beard to hide my dimples, says offensive things at the worst moments to see if people are cool or the perpetually offended type, hypothetically defend "the patriarchy", or fracking, just as a thought experiment, to see if the other person actually thinks about things or just reacts emotionally, eating random bugs, stopping to assess roadkill...lol! I don't plan the conversational stuff.  It's all instinctive, based on how my subconscious reacts to clues I get, but I recognize it after the fact.

I know it seems crazy, but it seems like I have three choices:
1. Go with the flow and hope to luck out, which has resulted in me becoming homeless three times.

2. Pretend to be someone I'm not to attract a normie and hope to psychologically manipulate her into being the person I need, like everyone else seems to do...yuck.

3. Just go all out from the get go, so that I know that whoever passes the tests not only really likes me for me, but also has the resilient qualities that I need in a partner.

The show Love Off the Grid keeps bugging me to be on it, but the last date I went on was three years ago, and ended up with me abruptly ending the date two hours in because she crashed and burned on the most important tests.  The casting director interviewed me for an hour and said he was going to put his whole casting team into finding me a match, because he thought I'd be awesome for the show.  Six months later, they wrote back asking if I had found anyone yet..lol!  They sent me another email a couple months ago but I politely declined.  Anyway, after reading your posts, I got a good chuckle out of imagining them filming us pitting our battlefield defenses against each other.  I bet it would be very entertaining regardless of whether we clicked or not.

We might have been separated at birth , if your ever in Arkansas , stop by for armadillo burritos

Who Ben, Michael or both of us lol! I like burritos! 😁

Ben Child wrote:

We might have been separated at birth , if your ever in Arkansas , stop by for armadillo burritos

I doubt I'll ever leave AZ, but if you're ever out this way, we could do javelina quesadillas!

Nicole Blank wrote:Michael - your post is awsome!😎

I resignate very much with choice number #3.

And for all that followed it, that's very funny. I've often thought wouldn't it be much easier finding a spouse if we just took it to the battlefield, played for keeps, like a ketch me if you can!🤣 lol!

Haha while this would probably be frowned upon it would be very funny! If anything this thread will start to give people some laughs.

Thought I was the only one who thought like this, if I was going to right a book about how I view dating/relationships, I may title it something like ( The unknown inner workings of an introverted mind)

Your post is funny!

Number 3 is definitely the most ethical, and interesting.

I'm halfway through writing a couple books.  Every time I meet someone that doesn't read, it deprioritizes writing though, so I'll be surprised if I ever finish them.

If I can't find a way to make something funny, I just don't want it in my head.

Nicole Blank wrote:Who Ben, Michael or both of us lol! I like burritos! 😁

Both, of course

Michael Adamson wrote:

Ben Child wrote:

We might have been separated at birth , if your ever in Arkansas , stop by for armadillo burritos

I doubt I'll ever leave AZ, but if you're ever out this way, we could do javelina quesadillas!

Like you , I’m not so inclined to leave the forest , anymore ..I did a good deal of traveling , in the past , but I’m content to stay put ..

On the book writing thing ..I also engage in writing ..social media has never been my thing ..I’ve never face booked , etc, but I’m doing stories on Tik Tok ..it’s the parchment of the day , and it’s really going well for me ..you might check it out and see if this idea works for you .
Tik tok   land_of_imagination ,if your so inclined

It was brought to my attention, when I posted that I'm an artist and ink is my favorite, it may be assumed I'm referring to tattoos, so I shall clarify, I'm an artist I draw and I prefer to ink my work, I love how vibrant the colors of ink show up in my artwork, also for anyone's interest, I do not have or plan to get any tattoos, although if you have them I don't have a problem with that.

Nicole Blank wrote:It was brought to my attention, when I posted that I'm an artist and ink is my favorite, it may be assumed I'm referring to tattoos, so I shall clarify, I'm an artist I draw and I prefer to ink my work, I love how vibrant the colors of ink show up in my artwork, also for anyone's interest, I do not have or plan to get any tattoos, although if you have them I don't have a problem with that.

Could you create a intricate coloring book ?

Actually Ben, it's been a desire of mine for many years to creat a child's coloring book or books, I love working with children and how excited they are with artistic mediums.

Nicole Blank wrote:Actually Ben, it's been a desire of mine for many years to creat a child's coloring book or books, I love working with children and how excited they are with artistic mediums.

That’s pretty cool. My writing is along the style of the chronicles of Narnia , kind of a continuation of that theme ..I love metaphors and parables . I think they work , sometimes , better than most alternatives ..anyway , I’m gearing my stories and my park into this theme, ..that’s the tik tok thing I got going ..right now , I’m trying to primarily make it good for people with disabilities , but I’m gonna use the same theme for childrens stories and coloring books

I would like to take a moment to say thank you! To everyone who has posted to my thread, sent me a message, given a thumbs up, or rewarded me with an apple.

This was my attempt to connect with others, to break out of my shell, and create an environment where others would feel comfortable to do the same, and perhaps get an idea of who I am. I believe you said it Jordan, that introverts have a lot to offer, I feel this is very true, but to share anything really about ourselves, I feel, is very difficult.

The response I have received has been so positive, uplifting, encouraging, and a bit overwhelming, I'm going to be honest, I didn't know if anyone would respond at all.

To all who have sent me messages, I intend to respond to all of them, it may just take me a few days to get back with you.🙂

Thank you everyone!

Well done.

Big hugs for everyone 😂

Ben Child wrote:

Nicole Blank wrote:Actually Ben, it's been a desire of mine for many years to creat a child's coloring book or books, I love working with children and how excited they are with artistic mediums.

That’s pretty cool. My writing is along the style of the chronicles of Narnia , kind of a continuation of that theme ..I love metaphors and parables . I think they work , sometimes , better than most alternatives ..anyway , I’m gearing my stories and my park into this theme, ..that’s the tik tok thing I got going ..right now , I’m trying to primarily make it good for people with disabilities , but I’m gonna use the same theme for childrens stories and coloring books

Maybe we were separated at birth.  Three of my books are a series.  There's Dust, a sci-fi like novel about a desert prison planet that's farmed for buried compost and water by elite that escaped to the moon and devolved into monsters.  The next one, ProtoTribal starts with the slaves discovering what they've been mining, and who for, and evolves into describing the wild permaculture ideas, diy greentech built from civ's waste, and the cultural experiments that result in the reforestation of Earth.  The last one in the series is Futile, where cities form again, psychopathy takes over, resources collapse, and the most psychopathic and wealthy survivors, that have forgotten their history, escape to the moon.  

I'm also working on a short version called ProtoTribal-A Post Civ Survival Manual that teaches people how to be free and sustainably self sufficient...and I've been thinking about illustrating it heavily and making it a coloring book for years...

So Michael lol, I had to go look up what tv show you talked about, because I don't actually watch TV myself, but needless to say that's not at all what I had in my mind, when you said pitting our battlefield defenses against each other🤣 that makes it even funnier, but I don't think you'd want to step onto the same battlefield I pictured in my mind.

Nicole Blank wrote:So Michael lol, I had to go look up what tv show you talked about, because I don't actually watch TV myself, but needless to say that's not at all what I had in my mind, when you said pitting our battlefield defenses against each other🤣 that makes it even funnier, but I don't think you'd want to step onto the same battlefield I pictured in my mind.

I don't watch tv at all either so I have no idea how the show actually turned out.

I think I understood the gravity of your battlefield reference though, but I align more towards battling the bathroom mirror poser losers that are breaking women's hearts, and the ones pushing the family/tribe destroying culture, than actually throwing down with and subduing a potential mate like a caveman.  I don't think that would go over well at all these days, no matter how fun it sounds.

I have to post this pic now, just for laughs.  

Lol no sorry this topic is getting away from what I was trying to convey in a funny format, I was thinking more along the lines of think paintball or an obstacle course or something like that, where you compete together as a couple against other couples for a prize, strengthening your working together skills. not caveman at all, lol I'm not into that.

I can see where I should have phrased that topic way better, haha totally my fault sorry.

So after going back and reading my post implying a battlefield setting, as a couples test, and contemplating on the posts that followed, I was utterly mortified by what it must have looked like I was implying. I thought about removing that post because it's not written very well to reflect what I was trying to convey, but I thought about it and decided, that's life, it doesn't always come out sounding the right way. However I was mortified and would like to clarify what I was trying to convey.

I'll bring it to a more personal level, as I feel I would communicate my point better, when it comes to dating or relationships, I've been on perfect Hollywood movie dates, where everything was in a sterilized, controlled, clean environment, and I've found myself sitting across the table wondering to myself, you know everything is so perfect here in this moment, but would you really stick around if it wasn't. What if everything was a total mess, what if everything was falling apart and it was completely out of our control, would you stay with me?

I've been around lots of pretty boys, and I've thought to myself, you would kill over and die if you ran out of hair gell, or total apocalypse lost your cell phone, would you really stay with me if things got bad.

In today's day and age, in my opinion that is, it doesn't seem like very many couples stay together, that's scary to think about when your trying to find your special someone, the thought is always there in the back of my mind...would you leave me if stuff got rough?

I've often wondered, what is the deciding factor in finding that perfect spouse who would stick with you no matter what. The age old question, is love really enough for you?

Which leads me to what I was trying to convey using a battlefield setting, it's a setting that is full of unknowns, it's unpredictable and it's a mess, your chances of survival go up if you have a partner and stick together, work together like a team, so many people (guys) have told me they desire someone to work as a team with them, a team stays together. How do you know if you've actually found that person that will stay?

I've seen so many relationships break apart, or unhappy couples, it's very scary to think about even attempting a relationship/marriage, on the flip side of that I've seen couples make it through so much hell I marvel at them, and I want that🙂 I've just always wondered is there a test or deciding factor to who will make it and who won't.

That's what I was trying to imply earlier, it came out sounding very wrong and I'm very sorry about that, I don't always convey what I mean perfectly, it was my fault.

For anyone's clarification...I do not wish to be hit over the head and dragged into a cave.😉

Nicole Blank wrote:So after going back and reading my post implying a battlefield setting, as a couples test, and contemplating on the posts that followed, I was utterly mortified by what it must have looked like I was implying. I thought about removing that post because it's not written very well to reflect what I was trying to convey, but I thought about it and decided, that's life, it doesn't always come out sounding the right way. However I was mortified and would like to clarify what I was trying to convey.

I'll bring it to a more personal level, as I feel I would communicate my point better, when it comes to dating or relationships, I've been on perfect Hollywood movie dates, where everything was in a sterilized, controlled, clean environment, and I've found myself sitting across the table wondering to myself, you know everything is so perfect here in this moment, but would you really stick around if it wasn't. What if everything was a total mess, what if everything was falling apart and it was completely out of our control, would you stay with me?

I've been around lots of pretty boys, and I've thought to myself, you would kill over and die if you ran out of hair gell, or total apocalypse lost your cell phone, would you really stay with me if things got bad.

In today's day and age, in my opinion that is, it doesn't seem like very many couples stay together, that's scary to think about when your trying to find your special someone, the thought is always there in the back of my mind...would you leave me if stuff got rough?

I've often wondered, what is the deciding factor in finding that perfect spouse who would stick with you no matter what. The age old question, is love really enough for you?

Which leads me to what I was trying to convey using a battlefield setting, it's a setting that is full of unknowns, it's unpredictable and it's a mess, your chances of survival go up if you have a partner and stick together, work together like a team, so many people (guys) have told me they desire someone to work as a team with them, a team stays together. How do you know if you've actually found that person that will stay?

I've seen so many relationships break apart, or unhappy couples, it's very scary to think about even attempting a relationship/marriage, on the flip side of that I've seen couples make it through so much hell I marvel at them, and I want that🙂 I've just always wondered is there a test or deciding factor to who will make it and who won't.

That's what I was trying to imply earlier, it came out sounding very wrong and I'm very sorry about that, I don't always convey what I mean perfectly, it was my fault.

For anyone's clarification...I do not wish to be hit over the head and dragged into a cave.😉

I can relate to most of that ..loyalty is a rare thing these days. .For me, I just decided I wasn’t gonna start off dating anyone ..I’m gonna be friends long enough to get a realistic idea of how we get along , without the expectations of conformity ..it’s worked well , in the sense that I have good female friends , that I’m thankful for. I saw, with time , that there wasn’t this overwhelming attraction , so things just stay there.. I’m either gonna have something epic or I’m gonna stay perpetually single ..

We have been (un-)fortunately enough that our relationship has already been tested a few times.
I would say it comes down to how much you value each other and if the combined skills are sufficient to overcome the challenges.
If the other one is perceived as "easily replaceable" then I can guess that the relation will not survive even smaller challenges.

Then there is.. how do you feel in the presence of the other one? Nervous, excited, relaxed, calm?
It may be nice to have someone exiting, but how long can you endure that?

And then there is the question who is responsible for what. Money, household, children, cooking...
I still remember the first week of interrogation to make sure expectations and abilities matched up.

Have you and have they experienced hardship, burnout, death and been faced with big challenges?
Do they have friends and family that will support them if things get rough?

Can you handle the weaknesses of the other in an elegant and positive way?
For example: She would freeze to death just to stay with me, so I have to look not only after my body temperature but also make sure she is still comfortable.
And I would not ask for her company when going to buy clothes, even tho I hate going to these shops alone. But she will accompany me without asking or being asked.

]

Nicole Blank wrote:

For anyone's clarification...I do not wish to be hit over the head and dragged into a cave.😉

But would you desire to go into a cave , without such pressures? This area is known as the land of a thousand caverns ..they are everywhere ..some hold secrets , that few have seen.

Sebastian, I found your post full of wisdom, thank you! Those are very good thoughts.

I've been through a lot of life, looking at me you'd never know it, but I have, I've just never found anyone who could handle that.

And Ben lol! I guess I walked into that question but yes actually, I'd go anywhere if it was with the right person. I don't love money and I don't love stuff, I just came to realize this year, that I don't want to be alone forever. Growing up I was fine being single, I loved it actually! But I hit 30 and just realized wouldn't it be more fun to do your favorite things with someone, or just be with someone doing nothing.

Nicole Blank wrote:Sebastian, I found your post full of wisdom, thank you! Those are very good thoughts.

I've been through a lot of life, looking at me you'd never know it, but I have, I've just never found anyone who could handle that.

And Ben lol! I guess I walked into that question but yes actually, I'd go anywhere if it was with the right person. I don't love money and I don't love stuff, I just came to realize this year, that I don't want to be alone forever. Growing up I was fine being single, I loved it actually! But I hit 30 and just realized wouldn't it be more fun to do your favorite things with someone, or just be with someone doing nothing.

I get that , for sure ..I’ve done a lot of traveling , alone ..climbed up the great divide a couple years ago ..it was such an incredible experience , but I wanted to see someone else’s face , as they looked and shared of the experience ..some things are just better, together ..I imagine ..I love my alone time , but sometimes my own company , is lacking

A competition or some kind of trial would be a good test of any kind of friendship, but I like Ben's idea better.  I told myself that my next romantic interest will have to be a good friend and positive influence on my life for three years before I allow romance.  This would avoid the whole pretending you're something you're not phase.  Sadly though, it seems that one is thought of as a crazy person these days for believing in the sacredness of sexual energy and intenional procreation.  One woman said, "You mean we're not gonna..." and made a hand gesture as I was asking her to leave.  The pursuit of pleasure in our culture has eclipsed the pursuit of happiness.

As far as the caveman thing goes, it can sound like a dark subject, but I've read plenty of studies that suggest women are instinctively turned on by fantasies of being "taken", and seen almost every woman I know date dumb, violent men that subconsciously scratch that itch.  So even though I was poking fun with the caveman thing, there might be something deeper to it.  The whole weak men creating bad times thing might have something to do with our cultutal mate selection trends.  Humans are funny animals.

Anyway, I found another funny picture to post.

Michael Adamson wrote:A competition or some kind of trial would be a good test of any kind of friendship, but I like Ben's idea better.  I told myself that my next romantic interest will have to be a good friend and positive influence on my life for three years before I allow romance.  This would avoid the whole pretending you're something you're not phase.  Sadly though, it seems that one is thought of as a crazy person these days for believing in the sacredness of sexual energy and intenional procreation.  One woman said, "You mean we're not gonna..." and made a hand gesture as I was asking her to leave.  The pursuit of pleasure in our culture has eclipsed the pursuit of happiness.

As far as the caveman thing goes, it can sound like a dark subject, but I've read plenty of studies that suggest women are instinctinely turned on by fantasies of being "taken", and seen almost every woman I know date dumb, violent men that subconsciously scratch that itch.  So even though I was poking fun with the caveman thing, there might be something deeper to it.  The whole weak men creating bad times thing might have something to do with our cultutal mate selection trends.  Humans are funny animals.

Anyway, I found another funny picture to post.

Bro, if I was a woman , I think I’d be pretty impressed with your emotional intelligence ..I wish you were closer , cause I thing we’d be pretty good bros.. seems we are on a very similar path and I don’t see that often , at all

Ben Child wrote:

Michael Adamson wrote:A competition or some kind of trial would be a good test of any kind of friendship, but I like Ben's idea better.  I told myself that my next romantic interest will have to be a good friend and positive influence on my life for three years before I allow romance.  This would avoid the whole pretending you're something you're not phase.  Sadly though, it seems that one is thought of as a crazy person these days for believing in the sacredness of sexual energy and intenional procreation.  One woman said, "You mean we're not gonna..." and made a hand gesture as I was asking her to leave.  The pursuit of pleasure in our culture has eclipsed the pursuit of happiness.

As far as the caveman thing goes, it can sound like a dark subject, but I've read plenty of studies that suggest women are instinctinely turned on by fantasies of being "taken", and seen almost every woman I know date dumb, violent men that subconsciously scratch that itch.  So even though I was poking fun with the caveman thing, there might be something deeper to it.  The whole weak men creating bad times thing might have something to do with our cultutal mate selection trends.  Humans are funny animals.

Anyway, I found another funny picture to post.

Bro, if I was a woman , I think I’d be pretty impressed with your emotional intelligence ..I wish you were closer , cause I thing we’d be pretty good bros.. seems we are on a very similar path and I don’t see that often , at all

I've had a lot of alone time to think about stuff, and went through a bunch of trials that I could reflect on.  I'm also extremely interested in anthropology, evolutionary psychology/biology, and history, so studying all of that just made a bigger picture become apparent. Domestication is dysevolution. I don't know anyone in real life that thinks about anything deeply.  


I'm putting a new engine in my 6x6 skoolie this week and have been considering spending the winter in Quartzsite hoping to meet tribe, or at an offgrid property in Showlow, helping out a friend that's getting a series of surgeries.  I'm pretty heavily invested in AZ because I've spent years learning the land and building relationships here, and bought a mountain top with a gold mine on it, but I've seriously been considering liquidating and leaving because I've found no one here in twelve years that wants to live like me, and the few that have come to visit and possibly stay all turned out to be incompatible with offgrid desert life.  It's super tempting to head back East, but the bugs and population density are the deal killers for me every time I really start considering it.  It's definitely refreshing to know that there are kindred spirits out there somewhere though!

Another quick thought on the "what if they leave" question.

I think domestication is dysevolution, so as much as I want my next relationship to last a lifetime, I don't want it to be due to interdependence, or some kind of social contract, or just stubborn loyalty despite suffering and resentment.  I want it to be totally voluntary at all times.  The only way I can see this being a possibility is if both participants are sustainably self sufficient.  

Another big reason dating is hard for me is that I don't want someone tagging along in my space.  I want them to have their own offroad/offgrid capable RV, so if they're around, it's because they want to be.  My last long term relationship ended as amicably as imagibable, because when I finally came to the conclusion that her approach to survival was the source of our drama, and that change wasn't happening on her part, we both had our own RV's, so parting ways wasn't complicated at all.  I let her have anything that she thought was hers, or that we bought together that she wanted, loaded up my stuff, and I left.  The needless drama in my life instantly decreased to zero, and has stayed that way, while she's been bouncing back and forth between bad situations since.

I think semi-nomadic life is essential to positive human relationships, and beneficial to Nature.  In every sedentary shared housing project, resentment and annoyances just constantly build, and no matter how petty, they build up into disrespect, then the drama starts. Seems the same applies to relationships.

Greetings to all,

This thread has received way more attention than I ever emagined, I honestly thought I'd put it out there with maybe a response or two, coming in about a months time...however, I have received many replies and messages, and have done my very best to respond to you all, at least once out of respect for taking the time to Converse with me. Again...however, please be respectful of my time as well, I'm very grateful for all of the suggested ideas, thoughts, input, reading material and the like, and with all the willingness to discuss topics of philosophy with me.

This post has been very helpful to me, in figuring out some specific criteria I am looking for in developing a long lasting relationship. And to make the effort to interact with others in conversation. So thank you.

I will state again that my age is 30, so I'm not looking to make or pursue a relationship with anyone above 10 years my senior, and this is not an official invitation to pursue a relationship with myself.

The purpose of my thread was and is, to discuss the struggles introverted individuals face in today's dating scene. I'm sharing my own viewpoints as I can only use myself as an example. And for anyone to weigh in with there thoughts or ask a question to an introverted person about how they view dating, or the hating of dating as an introverted person.

As an introvert myself, this post has been fascinating and so interesting to follow along with.   How cool to see the mental journey and amount of personal sharing this topic inspired in so many!    For me,   dating just never becomes a priority to seek out.   I don't mind the process, but I don't think I'm much fun for the other person, lol.    I find it interesting to observe the process and get to know a new person, who they are, what their expectation is,  how they approach dating,  how they deal with assumptions that don't play out...  but I think that makes the other person feel a bit like I'm not in it WITH them,  which isn't really my intention.   But I tend to sit back and let things unfold rather than diving in.   Mostly though,  I'm too busy living and enjoying my life, and I don't feel the need or the desire to give up ANY of that to seek out dating/ prospective partners.   Open to the idea,  a helpmate in life would be lovely, but I also really like my life already.  

Nicole Blank wrote:

Jordan - right on. I feel like I have a lot to offer, I've been showered with praise my whole life about what a good wife and mother I'd be, from both men and women, unfortunately I can't seem to get to that place, I've come to the conclusion I'm undatable...what's the cure for that?

I think an important distinction needs to be made. I see nothing in your posts to indicate you are undatable (or any of us). It is just the perception of society that you or we may be undatable. Don't let society convince you that you are somehow wrong for being you. I know what you mean about people saying how good you would be. For me it was all the older ladies of the community about my mom's age and older who would say things like, "I know one day you'll make some young woman very happy!" I think the reason they typically liked me so much is that at their age, they realize that they should have married a guy like me rather than the guy they did because he was popular or attractive or whatever.

What's the cure? I'm afraid I don't have any good news. You could compromise who you are to try to fit in, or you could be true to yourself and maybe never find anyone. But the way your thread has taken off makes me feel hopeful. Like Heather, I feel it is so good to see people talking. That's what I've been trying to accomplish. The singles section just seems so bland for the most part. A person makes a profile, a few people say, "Hey, I pm'd you," or, "Welp, I'm too old for you!" and that's pretty much it. I would like to see it become a community where people talk and help each other. If people aren't willing to talk and put in the effort, how can we expect much success? I hope to see a lot more of this in the future. I hope we can make dating on permies better than the general dating outside in general society.

Jordan you make good points.

Honestly for myself, being willing to talk to strangers and put in the effort is extremely taxing, and I'd rather not, at the same time, I do enjoy being in the company of others just not all the time, to allow a new person into my circle is difficult, and I find the whole process draining.

Nicole, it looks like you are doing a great job to me! And that's one good thing about an internet forum like this. You can always take a step back and give yourself some time off if you need to before responding to anyone.

Nicole Blank wrote:Any other extremely introverted individuals out there, who consider dating the epitome of hell? or am I the only one.

Totally agree better to be alone these days . People are getting very lazy and very self absorbed

Actually Daniel that's not quite the point I was trying to make, I hate dating yes but I don't necessarily want to be alone, I would just prefer if God mailed me my someone, and I didn't have to date to find him. 😉 I believe that would save time.