Putting a Price on the Family

No...no mob hit on my own family here! I thought I would show some of how I track my families expenses, and how individually I determine what each family member costs per month/year.

I admit I have taken this too far in the past, so I have scaled back, but some of the numbers are interesting. I get the numbers on each person in the household mostly by averaging, but not always. For instance with our food costs, I just divide the costs by the number of people in our home; in this case a family of six; (2) adults and (4) children. For other expenses, they vary. For instance, clothing. Katie tends to cost more per year because she LOVES her shoes, but presents and other factors influence how much each person in my family costs. Other factors include health care costs, but also child support...

In this screenshot, I used my 2016 Family Data because there is not enough information yet for 2019 and would not show a lot. Still you can see the hard data on a month by month basis along the top, but then get an overall look via the pie chart on the bottom. The wonderful thing about Excel is, once the layout is made, only one input of data needs to be done, then a host of functions automatically happen to show where the money is going, and when.

I  use open office that has equivalent functions of excel.  I set up a break even.  Lucky for me, myself and I only.  So show all expenses and income.   Plus produce a balance sheet.  I found one I did in Jan 2018.  I Just found my one done for income and expenses this Jan 2019.   Just updated it and ha ha shows me in red.   Just changed and now black.  Yes spreadsheets are great.

Yes I know what you mean...

A few years ago it occured to me, if I knew how much each person in my family costs, that included my wife. So if I tracked often we had "relations", I could deduce how much the cost was per "act".

Perhaps if I had stayed mum it would have been alright, but I told the wife she was averaging $62. This presented a real maritial problem because for her to get her "rate" up, she either had to do less "acts" with me", or be an expensive wife. Neither really was working to my favor.

So yeah, a person can go to far with spreadsheets that is for sure.

Travis, thanks for the laugh. I'm confident that key to your dilemma is reframing the metric such that the goal is a lower CPA(cost per act).

I'm (just) enough of a gentleman to refrain from brainstorming possible ways to accomplish this reframing, that's all on you... Efficiency is a great buzzword!

I wish you luck with this dreadful challenge, and can only hope you are able to rise to the occassion.

Dillon Nichols wrote:Travis, thanks for the laugh. I'm confident that key to your dilemma is reframing the metric such that the goal is a lower CPA(cost per act).

I'm (just) enough of a gentleman to refrain from brainstorming possible ways to accomplish this reframing, that's all on you... Efficiency is a great buzzword!

I wish you luck with this dreadful challenge, and can only hope you are able to rise to the occassion.

Glad you found a little humor in it. Katie, not so much.

Perhaps if I had not mentioned she was "averaging just above a woman upon the street, and just under a call girl", she would have been more understanding, but I think comparing is not really good in any shape or form. It puts a sense of value on things, and brings into question "quality".

I say all this with a little laugh; I have been with (3) women in my life, and married each one. I am hardly a "player".

As for employment opportunities, I did mention to Katie a few times when money was tight, a truckstop was not far away. Katie did not find much humor in that suggestion either!

I see you like living dangerously!
Want to see some crazy math,  reverse the worker/customer relationship and run the numbers again!
You will find yourself happily overpaid, compared to market rates...

Travis Johnson wrote:

Dillon Nichols wrote:Travis, thanks for the laugh. I'm confident that key to your dilemma is reframing the metric such that the goal is a lower CPA(cost per act).

I'm (just) enough of a gentleman to refrain from brainstorming possible ways to accomplish this reframing, that's all on you... Efficiency is a great buzzword!

I wish you luck with this dreadful challenge, and can only hope you are able to rise to the occassion.

Glad you found a little humor in it. Katie, not so much.

Perhaps if I had not mentioned she was "averaging just above a woman upon the street, and just under a call girl", she would have been more understanding, but I think comparing is not really good in any shape or form. It puts a sense of value on things, and brings into question "quality".

I say all this with a little laugh; I have been with (3) women in my life, and married each one. I am hardly a "player".

As for employment opportunities, I did mention to Katie a few times when money was tight, a truckstop was not far away. Katie did not find much humor in that suggestion either!

I was a truck driver for 5 years, and I work as a dispatcher now. With all due respect to your wife, Katie wouldn't make a dime working a truck stop. She looks too good; the truckers would all assume she's an undercover cop. There's more than one reason we call them "lot lizards".


And keep her away from that Swift truck. Swifties are dangerous. We like to say S.W.I.F.T. is an acronym: Sure, We're Insured For That!

Chris Watson wrote:

Travis Johnson wrote:

Dillon Nichols wrote:Travis, thanks for the laugh. I'm confident that key to your dilemma is reframing the metric such that the goal is a lower CPA(cost per act).

I'm (just) enough of a gentleman to refrain from brainstorming possible ways to accomplish this reframing, that's all on you... Efficiency is a great buzzword!

I wish you luck with this dreadful challenge, and can only hope you are able to rise to the occassion.

Glad you found a little humor in it. Katie, not so much.

Perhaps if I had not mentioned she was "averaging just above a woman upon the street, and just under a call girl", she would have been more understanding, but I think comparing is not really good in any shape or form. It puts a sense of value on things, and brings into question "quality".

I say all this with a little laugh; I have been with (3) women in my life, and married each one. I am hardly a "player".

As for employment opportunities, I did mention to Katie a few times when money was tight, a truckstop was not far away. Katie did not find much humor in that suggestion either!

I was a truck driver for 5 years, and I work as a dispatcher now. With all due respect to your wife, Katie wouldn't make a dime working a truck stop. She looks too good; the truckers would all assume she's an undercover cop. There's more than one reason we call them "lot lizards".

And keep her away from that Swift truck. Swifties are dangerous. We like to say S.W.I.F.T. is an acronym: Sure, We're Insured For That!

That is not actually Katie in the photo. I did not have a photo of Katie at a Truckstop so I just grabbed one off the internet.

I will not tell her what you said about making money there though. She says no one "obtain her services" because no one would want her, but she says it is because of how she looks. If you look at a lot of her photos she has her arm over her tummy because she is embarrased by it. She has always had low self-esteem because of her Mom. She is one of those people who always cut other people down to feel better about herself, and Katie ended up being the one she often berated. But I cannot lose the argument though and tell her she was right, even if it was for a different reason...truckers thinking she was bait.

Yes, we have an interesting marriage.

Katie is a banker now, and I am just her Trophy-Husband. It is tough being arm-candy...