SOME BACKGROUND -- As
City as City-Folk can be:
I was born in Boston and have lived all of my adult life in Connecticut, commuting on-and-off to downtown NYC to work for the last ~20 years. Exactly five years ago, when I was 39, my wife and I decided to "retire," purchasing a small farm in NE Alabama (Boaz). For the first 2-3 years we did nothing but enjoy Southern Country living. 2-3 years ago my wife was given one heifer (Red Angus) and we purchased 12 hens of various breeds and one Buff Orpington rooster.
Fast-forward 2+ years later and we now have 10 cows - a couple of Angus, two Jersey and one Guernsey which my wife hand-milks daily, a Holstein bull calf coming of age, and my 4-legged daughter: a gorgeous Charolais named Charlie (pronounced "Shar-Lee"). Charlie looks like she might be a Freemason -- yes, I got it wrong on-purpose
-- but she writes poetry, plays the piano, paints like Picasso, and adores me (the first 3 might be slight exaggerations), so she gets a pass on having to be useful in some "farmy" way. I wanted to make her an indoor cow, but my wife vetoed my plan to dedicate a spare bedroom for her.
Our 12 hens, though we tried to instill a sense of morality in them, have been given over to unbridled lust, and have grown to over 100 illegitimate little fornicators that know no modesty. They may be unrepentant sluts, but they also produce 30+ eggs per day, and now that Spring has arrived that number seems to be increasing rapidly. We also slaughter 5-10 roosters per month without remorse. Once they form gang-rape squads they are marked for death, and the hens love to watch as justice is served. We hold a fair trial, but as judge, jury, and (sometimes) executioner, any Rooster-dreams of reprieve quickly fade and the hens cluck for joy as the bloodbath commences.
We have a few turkeys, but their insistence on playing “chicken” with the occasional horseless carriage that comes down our country road rarely ends in their favor, and their numbers continue to drop as a result. We have two Toms and one hen remaining, but a number of turkey eggs are being set-on by various
chickens, so we hope to replenish their numbers soon (fingers crossed).
My wife just picked up four piglets a few weeks ago. She'll have to tell you what they are, but I do know they apparently represent two countries -- Poland and China. There's a "rock" in there somewhere too, but I could be making this all up, which is a character flaw I expose frequently and without shame. We hope to breed them and, with some divine intervention, perhaps even
sell some of their offspring for actual US dollars in return, which is the financial equivalent of holding an umbrella in a Tsunami.
We've wisely chosen the path of "learning from experience." By "wisely" I mean employing as much stupidity as nature will allow one person to exercise, and by "experience" I mean making every mistake humanly possible, paying the most for the least amount of return, and maximizing potential damage in the process. We have proudly cut our financial jugular and have hemorrhaged tens of thousands of dollars to sustain animals worth a fraction of that amount.
Now that we know there is a different (i.e. "right") way to do things, thanks to Permies (and just about every other carbon-based life form converting oxygen into
CO2) we're hoping to actually invert our current trend and turn this into a
sustainable lifestyle, even if it is only a "break-even" proposition on the balance sheet.
Right now, a healthy, sustainable pasture is of critical importance. Ultimately, we would like to get ALL of our animals off commercial
feed, which costs us dearly.
Chicken Scratch is $14/bag, plus Layer Pellets at $10/bag, plus
Dairy Feed at $12/bag, plus Calf Starter at $12/bag, plus
cattle feed at $300/ton, plus
hay at $30/roll, plus pasture maintenance at $5,000/year, plus (now) Swine Feed at $11/bag.
We go through many bags of each per week and, believe it or not, our pasture **is** capable of sustaining our livestock!
If we could eliminate or substantially reduce our reliance upon commercial feed and pasture treatments / fertilizers, and migrate many of the alternatives here on Permies into our overall lifestyle, which is now a fundamental goal of ours, we may actually be able to sustain ourselves indefinitely.
That's us in a nutshell. If you're in/around/near North Alabama, give us a shout. We'd LOVE to hob-knob with some
local(ish) Permites.
Yours truly,
Brendan (The Idiot Farmer).