Today, I leveled my tent platform.. can't wait to try it tonight! There's such a good feeling associated with making one's own bed.. in this case, of course, the dirt floor topped with fine sawdust.. well, sawdust and deer scat pebbles.. its okay, the scat is dry and soft-ish.. Maybe they'll feel like little massage balls on my back? In any case, my bed is made and LEVEL.. if this doesn't help with my general fatigue, I'll have to start a cardio/calisthenics regimen..
Dinner was Red Lentil Soup and White Rice with Cardamom Rice Pudding for dessert, a la Jen.. it was mighty nom.. perhaps the vegan diet is just my thing~!
This paragraph is a rant.. I felt it again today.. The Heavy.. yesterday was much heavier but today, when I recognized it, I just observed.. trying really hard not to take it personal.. my mind wants to find blame/fault for something or anything.. so it makes up a story about what I must have done "wrong" to make someone else seem unhappy or moody.. thinking back to my childhood makes me realize it began there, and has remained in me even until now.. this "Heavy" feeling of guilt drives my mind to carry on a fictional story that places blame on me.. It hasn't felt this heavy in a very long time.. I believe the simplified lifestyle has amplified my sensitivity to its influence.. the voice feels as intense as shouting in anger.. but IS IT TRUE? do others REALLY ACTUALLY think about me in negative ways? or might they have so much going on in their own lives that the importance of a "resolution" is outrageously disproportionate? Well.. that's my rant.. I just write things that are on my mind at the end of the day (kind of like I would in a journal)..
On a brighter note, here are a few more pictures.. After my last post with all the donation pictures, it turns out there's another big item that I forgot to mention.. a 2-Piece Trailer.. Also, some pictures of/from Base Camp..
POST 11 (DAY 17, 2020.08.27, Thursday)
Today I'm skipping my usual-since-i've-been-here breakfast, and reverting back to the eating regimen I had developed while I was in the City, trying to refine my thinking clarity.. Here's my theory behind how I developed the regimen and what it actually is.. Start with WHAT: BREAKFAST IS LATER around 10-11am (possibly a late lunch) of ANYTHING I feel like eating and as much quantity--I made up a word to combine Breakfast/Lunch, called "Brunch".. pretty sure no one else has thought it up yet.. ;) DINNER IS EARLY around 4pm, preferably consisting of a MEDIUM density and quantity..
Onto the HOW: the experimenting of leaving out certain types of foods from my diet/regimen (by the way, please understand that "diet" is defined by me as a design of intake rather than a limit of intake, so when I refer to "diet" i'm not saying i simply eat water or starve myself of calories; what i mean by "diet" is "design"; and we all have the power to design our lifestyle to some degree, including the food intake portion).. BEEF FOG opened the door for me on trying to play with what foods affect my mental clarity.. I'd eat a beef dish for dinner, then the following morning feel groggy getting out of bed and unsure of how to approach my day.. for many folks, this is about the time they reach for that caffeine.. but since I don't drink caffeine, I thought I'd try a beef-less dinner--and BOOM! The following morning, I feel up and ready for the day.. I got excited to try minor changes here and there.. and of course there were times I'd forget about the beef-less dinner and wake up foggy again the next day.. or days when I simply could not say no to the delicious looking Broccoli Beef from Yang's Wok Restaurant.. I tried the vegan diet for a day, or a few days, and just played around with and took note of how foods made me feel.. this journey is what led me to where I found a nice clarity-to-satisfaction ratio.. a mostly vegan diet from 10am-4pm.. in between, or when hungry, I can snack on light things like almonds or even chips, or a peanut butter sandwich.. oh, and I also cut out sugar (apparently its a type of poison.. another topic for another day).. let me be clear that no one has a whip to my back about how strict I am with this diet regimen.. I DESIGNED IT, and it makes me feel good about life.. I've felt the benefits and over few years time have grown quite fond of being good to self..
I'd also like to dedicate this post to thanking the permies community.. The support I receive on a daily basis is simply phenomenal.. I feel safe and valued.. safe enough to raise any concern I may have no matter how "petty" my inner voice may suggest it is.. this is extremely important to me because of the feeling of "belonging".. perhaps a topic for another post! THANK YOU Paul, THANK YOU Team here at the WL,. THANK YOU support staff whom I have not met yet in person.. THANK YOU Supporters of the Permies community as a whole! You are shining stars in my world.. =D <3
Who's Kevin Mink? I dunno.. Do you know Kevin Mink? Yea, he's super cool, works hard, plays hard, and overall genuine guy--I got to work with him at Wheaton Labs. Here's a tiny interview..
Thanks for sharing your time and energy and humor with us at WL.. We'll for sure miss ya when you leave next week.. but until then, here's to more fun times.. and hopefully your next visit won't be too far away.. best wishes to you and your homesteading endeavors.. (he's leaving next week, but I just like to be prepared sooner than later.. its my style)..
Oh and in the background, the rest of the team at WL is cooking stir fry together while jamming out to a hip hop sound track, after a beautiful day of working in the summer sun.. As Kevin said, the people and connections here that are made...
THE WORK: Morning shift for me was patio stone floor with natural rock.. Hannah helped me, bc I was feeling a little sore/weak, and the work just seemed like fun.. what a terrific addition to the culture here at WL.. The perspective of feeling blessed is one I can find every single day here.. She played a little roller derby, as I found out today, so teamwork probably is old hat.. I do find a common thread in people with sports/athletics background of adapting to focused efforts.. for what its worth, both Kevin and Hannah are my tribes people.. I wish they didn't have to go, but they do have a dream to homestead possibly in a different part of the country.. so, I wish mostly that their dreams come true for them in unexpected and fantastic ways! =D
Evening shift for me was timber harvesting BIG LOGS for the greenhouse! I usually put love into my work, and to know that its a contribution to what the backers are excited about as well as to the betterment of our home (called Earth) is such an amazing feeling.. I have no words to describe it other than AMAZING..
Hi Dez / Shane. I discovered your thread today (through the daily-ish) and read all of it. Thank you very much for showing some insight in the thoughts and emotions of a 'boot'!
Are you sleeping better now the tent is level? As far as I know that's the most important: being level when you sleep.
"Also, just as you want men to do to you, do the same way to them" (Luke 6:31)
The past two nights of sleep have been so relaxing.. a nice shift since the platform got leveled.. yay! so good!.. Paul informed me that the scat pebbles may cause tent-rot.. hmm.. I probably should lift the tent and pick out the remaining pebbles.. Other than the potential tent-rot, I'm starting to get used to all the wild noises at night.. the chorus of insects (grasshopper? crickets? beetles? oh my), the howling of coyotes in the distance, and the occasional gentle grazing of what i think might be deer or turkeys.. now these sounds are just waves rocking me to back to sleep throughout the night.. so to speak.. My hands, neck/shoulders are sore so I plan to sleep it off on the newly leveled bed! can you tell I'm excited about the leveled bed? =D (Inge, thanks for asking!.. I hope your bed is awesomely level as well!)
As I write this morning entry, the delicious aroma of egg-breakfast on the skillet caresses my entire face and nasal passages.. yum.. the other boots are cooking.. alas, my own breakfast is later.. bc of my attempt to lift The Heavy.. So far so good actually.. yesterday morning, I felt light and clear (which was the intention).. Yesterday afternoon I felt a little more sluggish toward 4-5pm (lunch was very filling).. Dinner was veggie stir fry with quinoa and peanut sauce by Josiah.. The Heavy was kinda still lingering, and I realized something new-ish--I'm probably getting used to having "roommates" around.. I'd been living mostly alone for the past 10 years or so, so I probably got set in my way about the way things are done and how short the interactions are with the people around me.. we just interacted in passing.. now, its a little different..we interact in remaining.. "Everything Gardens." stepping into the role of a gardener is what I must be learning.. and The Heavy is quite likely part of my growing pains.. I'm now a gardener of and being gardened by those around me, in a way.. When I feel stressed, I hope to remember to breathe.. When I feel joy, I hope to remember to be grateful..
To those who are reading my entries.. these are a combination of my perspectives, which are often in journaling-format.. The pictures are usually random captures of beautiful moments throughout my day.. Please enjoy the parts that are enjoyable to you.. and forget the rest =D
And tomorrow is the circus! We can go to the circus! I love the circus! We can take this tiny ad:
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