Dez's Bootcamp Experience (BRK)

POST 106 (DAY 113, Tuesday, 2020.12.01)
[Morning Entry]

.. feeling a bit melancholy this morning.. not sure why.. i noticed that i go through these "low" moods periodically.. life is waves after all.. maybe its the full moon..

THE WORK (yesterday): i got my PHD (post hold digger) and scooped it out.. one of the holes for the east wing wall triple-post.. jen dug the other hole.. it was cold, drizzle-snowing very lightly, and labor intensive.. who knew that i could withstand these conditions?.. coming in i was afraid the labor would get me or the cold.. as i'm not the strongest person in general (physically), and over the years, i'd lost my cold-heartiness somewhat.. it'd be nice to get my strength and my internal fire back during my time here.. in fact some of my internal warmth has come back already!.. i.e. if i was a about 40% upon arrival, now i'm at about 60% (of what i used to remember having as a youth).. i would get sweaty after doing 10 pushups or just in the middle of the night have to throw my covers off too cool down.. all that heat!.. and strength.. i remember being able to carry in like 10-15 grocery bags after coming home from a visit to the store with mom.. the only limiting factor was my own size.. now i have the size, but cant carry as much.. lol pretty funny.. i believe my strength and warmth will come back to me while i'm here at WL! =D

enjoy the pics~!

POST 107 (DAY 114, Wednesday, 2020.12.02)
[Morning Entry]

"..AAAND that's 10 seconds~!!!"



Clayton visits us long-term, from Minnesota.. He brings a work ethic that will out-blast a whale's top-spout, and a friendly, quick wit to engage whoever he's around.. He may likely be back, but who really knows what happens out there in the City??.. we wish you safe travels and much warmth during your outward visits to meditate and catch up with your fam and friends.. see you soon "Clay-2K"!

POST 108 (DAY 115, Thursday, 2020.12.03)
[Morning Entry]

THE WORK (yesterday): digging holes is like doing squats all day.. and military presses.. whole body is pretty darn sore.. i need to work out more.. got to work excavator arm yesterday for the first time.. i dragged a log from one place to another place by lifting the arm, then rotating the main swivel.. pretty amazing machine.. admittedly, i thought at first that i wouldn't want to drive the excavator or the tractor, ever~!.. 3.5 months later, here we are, and i'm slowly learning to operate both.. what's next?.. maybe i'll build my own wofati??

enjoy the pics~!

109/116/12-4/Friday

.. Willingness is the foregoing of fear..
.. What is it that I fear when I hesitate or avoid a thing?
.. example.. there’s someone in my life that I’d simply like to avoid.. at this time, our paths are bound together.. almost everything about them seems to be a direct contradiction to my values.. yet I see in them a previously more frequent version of me.. I was self-centered and socially annoying, then (moreso than now); this person is self-centered and socially annoying.. and I happen to see a dozen other traits/habits that remind me of.. well.. me.. with such disdain I narrow in on this flawed being which I’d want nothing to do with but to banish their existence.. and yet this person is also inside me anyway.. so exist it shall with or without my judgement.. indicating that I have no control.. I can only accept what is..
.. “be accepting of everything..”

Enjoy the pics!

Hi Dez, seeing faces and other things in tiles, wallpapers, or anywhere ... That can happen to me too, since I was very young (the wallpaper in my childhood bedroom).
I can see a dog's face if you say it's there. But I don't know if I see the same dog's face as you see.

POST 110 (DAY 117, Saturday, 2020.12.05)
[Mid-day Entry]

.. challenge your paradigm..
.. comfort is not safety..
.. naps are good for my soul.. are they really? .. after 38 years of phasing in and out regular naps--
.. i love naps.. everything in moderation..

enjoy the pics~!

POST 111 (DAY 118, Sunday, 2020.12.06)
[Morning Entry]

.. perhaps today, a poem that doesn't make much sense (nor rhyme), for one of my distant internet friends in the west coast area..

Yet near
To tell
Jewel a yam
Sweet potatoes

STORY TIME: we met once at a mutual friends' gathering.. so random.. she was there hanging out with her then bf and another couple..
i was there because it was my Year of Yes.. basically i said yes to any social event invitation..
a local bar near the ravenna area in seattle.. limited street parking.. whatever, i said yes, so i'm there.. walking is good annyway..
got there early and somehow squeezed myself into their table as a fifth wheel, while waiting for my others to arrive..
they had no idea this stranger closet dancer was trying to be an up and coming known-by-all millionaire socialite of seattle..
we talked about the old magic dragon.. they had a small start up and "J.T." played the role of cook and/or marketing guru..
i had a thought that it was kinda of awkward because it was the first time i ever met them.. yet here we were, getting to know each other.. just talking about stuffs and stuff..
who were those young entrepreneurs?.. circa 2015.. i'm not sure.. but they each went on their way to fulfilling their respective destinies..
did i become a millionaire?.. not really.. but my mindset expanded tremendously as i exposed myself to the idea of abundance mentality.. limiting beliefs gave way to boundlessly creative possibilities..
did i become known-by-all?.. not really.. but i made acquaintances and friends in new and bold ways.. met some of the kindest people.. and keep in touch with many of them to this day..
thanks for reading some of my posts J.T.~!!!.. we dont know each other much at all, except perhaps through ig pics perhaps.. turns out we both have a heart for the homeless population, and thats pretty cool lol =D

enjoy the random pics y'all~!