Need help learning to tie a scarf around my hair

Why is this post here? Well because my husband bought a head scarf while he was deployed, it's beautiful. As I am doing a new hair thing and not brushing my hair I'd like to learn to tie it around my head to keep my hair from blowing. I'm not positive if this is cultural appropriation or not so if it is, I won't use this scarf. Regardless I do want to learn to tie something around my head and my attempts so far just get blown off.

I have lived among people who are not my race or culture for most of my life, and I feel there's a really important distinction between "cultural appropriation" and "cultural appreciation and respect". If someone wants to give me crap for wearing or using something that isn't 'mine', that's their prerogative. But if I took the time to learn about said thing, and respect it (and the people who made it) for what it is rather than just another thing for me to consume, I think that makes a difference.
Haters will obviously still hate, no matter what, and if I have even the tiniest doubt about whether it's appropriate, I won't use it (if something has a ritual use for another culture, for example, that I would be trivializing).
That said, I wear, use, cook, and do things from cultures other than mine all the time, and often leave people a bit confused when instead of getting defensive I'm thrilled to have a chance to talk about them (about my Chinese sourdough, or Senegalese musicians, or the Japanese pickles I make). The world is getting more and more global, and it's getting more common.
As for your actual challenge, I can barely tie my shoes, and hair is about 600% beyond my abilities, but it might help to know the dimensions of your scarf!

It's a beautiful scarf with a sparkling embroidered butterfly on it. I could obviously use any scarf but this one is beautiful and meant for this purpose and I would like to use it.

It's about 3 feet long and 1 foot wide.

Every time I try to wrap it around and tie it it blows off. I don't know how women can get it to stay on their heads but it's obviously an art form and I would like to learn it!

I feel like I'm being respectful but if I was told it was inappropriate I wouldn't use it. I'd use a different scarf and still like to learn how to tie it.

when i hear you say scarf and wind i'm imagining Thelma and Louise, that you take off when you get to work, rather than a turban-type headwrap that ties at the front. Personally, that latter one is a no-go for me (here in Brazil those are worn as an expression of religion, and people still remember laws that required Black women to wear headwraps), but you are not here and also not me!

I always wondered how well the Thelma and Louise actually worked, though. My hair is super slippery (uh, i swear it's clean!), if I don't tie it super tight I can't even keep a bandana on my head. Bobby pins, maybe?
edited: premature post!
this had some great pics. it's sort of surprising people don't wear scarves like this much anymore.

I guess there are as many methods of tying as there are cultures on the planet, covering your head (male and female) is in many religions. It sounds like your scarf may be a bit slippery - like a satin type material so there is not enough friction on your hair to make it stay put? I'd think a 3d style would be most secure, but then you would lose sight of the lovely patterns.

I found this 'blog this 'blog with instructions for a few western style ways of tying a scarf. I think there may be some pictures missing at the start though...

source

Here's one on African cultures
and one on Muslim hijab

So I really wanted to make sure it was ok for me to wear this thing and Halima Aden does a video on tying turbans where she explicitly says it's not cultural appropriation to do so. So here we go. I'ma be trying some of these out. Keep you posted on what holds up to the wind, my #1 enemy.

Hair is slippery. Scarves are also often slippery. What you need is something that creates friction between the two. I’ve found that a no-slip headband (like this one from Wrapunzel) makes a huge, huge difference. These are made of a stretchy velour, so definitely synthetic, but something that fulfills the function could be made with a cotton velveteen, though you’d want to have some way to fasten it as cotton velveteen wouldn’t stretch. I use mine all the time with bandanas!  Also, the Wrapunzel blog has a ton of videos on headscarf tying to change up how it looks!

This is a great question.

In medieval reenactments, I wear my hair covered with a linen cloth and it is one of the most comfortable things.  It's like my own personal climate control and there's a huge amount of comfort - like a weighted blanket but not heavy.  

In the village in England where my family harks from, pretty much all women wore their hair covered until the late 1960s.   Even when I went back to visit around the turn of the recent century, about half of the women over 40 still wore hair coverings, usually scarves, while doing daily tasks, but not so much while out and about.  But the tradition is only recently deceased and goes back at least to just after the Romans left.

But in Canada, head scarves are seldom seen outside of religious context.  And it's this reason why I feel nervous wearing one in my daily life.  That and I don't know a good way to wear one or what kind of cloth to get that doesn't look like I came out of the 1940s - although it might not be a bad thing to do a bit of historybounding.

So I have been talking to my Muslim friends.  Most of them don't wear head coverings as it's not a big deal in their homeland.  From talking with men and women of this tradition, they wouldn't mind if a non-muslim wore a scarf, they wouldn't think it a religious thing, it would just be fashion.

But I also have some friends from a very strict Muslim tradition.  The women of the family wear the full black outfit with a veil so we can only see the eyes, and the men have strict rules against interacting with women who aren't family.  When I visit their house, the men go to one part of the house, and I get to go to the women's section.  In the women's section, they can take off their black outfits and I admit, I didn't realise how much makeup and fashion they have under the black coverings.   The most shocking thing for me is how healthy and beautiful their hair is.  

So of course, I asked them what they thought if I were to wear my hair covered with a scarf.  The response was they would be honoured.  I already make sure my arms and legs are covered when visiting as a sign of respect for them, but hair coverings, even as daily wear, would be a wonderful thing and not seen as a religious issue.

The biggest problem I have is with secular friends.  I've tried a few times to wear hair coverings and they get weirded out "have you converted?" "what's with the scarf?" and some of the people I would have thought were the least racist friends would say some pretty offensive stuff I won't repeat here.  

That last bit takes away my courage - but you know what?  Thinking about this and writing this out, it also makes me angry and want to show them that they are being pricks about it.  So I think I will start wrapping my hair in a scarf.  I just need to find out how and get the right kind of scarf.   Although, I will probably look at the traditions where family is from to see what I can incorporate.  That 1940s history bounding idea really tickles my fancy.  

I've been seriously considering wearing a scarf to protect my hair, too. Having a puppy in the house again has driven home the damage caused not only by her fascination with my hair, but just the knots and snarls that come from constantly pushing it out of my face, it rubbing against my clothes, getting caught in stuff, as I walk past it, my pillow, and the wind blowing it. I was looking at a silk bonnet, for sleeping in, and John, in no uncertain terms, made it very clear that he hated the idea. I think it's more about him liking to see my hair, than anything, though.

If you're going to wrap it, still is the best fiber to have against the hair, because it doesn't catch on it. I may switch to a silk pillow case, as a compromise for sleeping - and maybe a silk-lined scarf, for doing chores. Possibly lining hood and hats with silk, for winter...

the thread about men tying their hair back (and using bandanas) makes me think about how, when things are wild, the first thing I do is tie a cloth over my hair before i go about putting things in order!!!
when things need to get done, the last thing i want to waste time on is putting my hair up yet again when it comes loose. and i don't even have curly hair that takes time to untangle.....

I wear a wide brimmed, well-mended boy's hat I rescued out of a trash box. It was quite new when I rescued it, but that was a decade or 15 years ago and it's been worn almost constantly when outside since.

Blowing hair in my face is dangerous for me, as I have a poor blink reflex in my left eye. The wide brim helps protect the eyes at least a bit. Not enough though, so safety glasses are a must when out on the farm even if what I'm doing would "appear" safe.

A scarf would be good for helping keep the hair clean. A proper turban wrap is amazingly long and is a very fine fabric - almost a gauze. Interesting that different cultures have similar approaches and customs.