Impossible search?

We have set out on what seems to be an impossible mission which is connecting with a woman that has similar aspirations and wanting a serious relationship with us. Honestly when my wife spoke of her lifelong desire to have a polyamorous lifestyle I said hmmm not sure about that, sometimes I have a difficult time keeping one woman happy but two lol!
I’m open minded and since we are both a little left of center I began to see the benefits of three people working together towards common goals. So a bit more about us, Im 52 and my wife is 44 years old and we are hard working folks living in rural Vermont on a small one acre homestead. I have two daughters from a previous relationship that hang out a couple days a week but aren’t around as often anymore as they are getting older.
We live frugally and grow and raise alot of our own organic food in our extensive gardens, aquaponics systems along with rabbits and chickens. We truly enjoy spending time in nature and when we get the opportunity we can be found foraging in the woods, collecting cool stuff to make bushcraft type things and paddling around our many awesome lakes in the area.
We have intentions of building a cordwood house on our property in the future and repurposing our old farmhouse and we also have a small tree and plant nursery that we have been growing as well as growing shiitake mushrooms. We have had interest in providing workshops down the road to inspire others with smaller properties to become more self sustainable so that’s in the works as well.
What we are looking for in a person is someone that appreciates life, maybe you had a difficult upbringing such as we did or an experience in your life that allows you to be grateful for the gifts you have. An ideal partner would be a strong person and comfortable in a leadership role and has a desire to learn and grow with us and make a positive impact on the world. We would like to connect with someone that enjoys working on projects together as we do take work outside the home when necessary to pay the bills. Typically we provide home repair services and commercial cleaning so on occasion we would want to work with someone that is comfortable growing the tree and plant nursery and doing the occasional not as fun stuff when it’s needed.
We come with our flaws and imperfections and we are very much in tune with healing and dealing with emotional trauma and would gladly work as a team on our personal development together. Being able to relocate to us and build a strong foundation for a relationship is what we need, we are a mixture of permaculture with an alternative lifestyle if that resonates with you.
So with that said we have been trying very hard to connect with someone for a year now and have talked with many people, some from this wonderful site even and despite the exhaustive efforts we have missed the mark in connecting with the right person. Is this truly mission impossible?

Guard your heart is all I will say........

Both of us are strong communicators and we anticipate this alternative lifestyle to have it’s challenges.

We've been on a similiar search for about the same amount of time. Most don't seem to see the benefits of working on a team. It's seems like most girls think they are to good for this type of relationship and would rather go with a piece of trash then be with a good man that's tried, true & tested. One that already has a successful  relationship, good family and skills. It seems like it'd be so much easier then the typical relationship-to see an already successful situation and join it rather the the latter which is just jumping into the unknown and hoping it works out. While there usually attracted our situation & enjoy our family they let the selfishness of not wanting to share block out the possibilities of actually having a successful relationship with a prosperous future.

Hi Bethany

We work hard to retain a positive mindset but we agree with your statement 100%. When I met my wife I had been single for a couple years and she had a number of difficult issues she was dealing with and we just took a chance on each other.
We communicate well and although we have opposite ways of doing things sometimes we respect the process of being in a relationship and work very well together.
All of us have shortcomings and those shortcomings may be someone else’s strengths and in our opinion three people working together towards common goals or solving problems has a much better chance of success. We are confident that a good woman is out there that would be perfect and we just have to find her! We hope you find what you’re looking for as well Bethany and enjoy this wonderful Autumn that’s upon us!

We hope everyone is doing awesome and has some projects to do this winter. I guess you could describe us as a frugal middle aged couple, goal oriented and trying to grow as a couple and find a likeminded woman to join us.
Both of us have come from traumatic childhoods and work pretty hard on our personal development on a regular basis. We draw our inspiration from others such as edible acres and twisted tree farm and although we aren’t carbon copies of those permaculture based nurseries we do strive for someone to join us that has aspirations to live that type of lifestyle. We are environmentally conscious and love to inspire others even though we are a bit introverted, we try to incorporate something we grew, raised or baked ourselves on a daily basis but could do better.
Our old farmhouse isn’t anything fancy but we try to do a couple upgrades every year as time and money allows. We have two daughters from a previous relationship and they are growing up so not spending time with us like they used to, we raise rabbits in a colony setting, raise chickens for meat and eggs and a small tree and plant nursery that we are constantly working on growing.
Our ideal partner is in relatively good health, drama free, positive energy and interested in developing a long term relationship with both of us. We would like to have some conversations together on a wide range of topics and get a feel for each other then progress towards more conversations about what’s the best way to build a solid foundation for this type of unique partnership. We definitely need to be with a woman that has an eagerness for food preservation, gardening, plant propagation and working together on projects to be sustainable. We do some work outside of the homestead to keep our heads above water but the goal is to slowly reduce the amount of time we spend working for others and develop a sustainable permaculture nursery. We are licensed by the State of Vermont and in the early stages of operating this as a business. In 2024 we sold a few hundred trees and a number of miscellaneous plants such as grapes, comfrey and Jerusalem artichokes. We built our first aquaponics system which we are working the bugs out but at least we are currently able to eat fresh greens, peppers and such in December! Feel free to send us a message, ask questions and hopefully be in a position to relocate to Vermont in the near future. Looking forward to future conversations!