What a great place to JOIN the community. EVERYONE seems to have their own definition of polyamorus. (spell check doesn't even like the word, LOL) Here are some thoughts I shared TODAY with 2 different 'perspective members (fincaAmanecer.com)
Gosh, I have been out of the US so long, didn't even know there was a sitcom, Modern Family. It's about time!!! Letting go of "other people's belief systems" brings YOU one step closer to
FREEDOM. "love is love" When will we all get along without the labels and judgement?
http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/01/fashion/coming-out-as-a-modern-family-modern-love.html?pagewanted=all&_r=1& This is a very good recent article.
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Bless your heart,
Here is simply one of many possibilities. IF you and your (soon to be ex) wife both become members here, and build TWO jungalows. Then your child could stay with either parent. You'd both be free to create a new primary relationship. (or not) I think I told you about Christmas dinner in Seattle with another member of our community.
For me it was such a heartwarming
experience to see so many COMBINATIONS of: this is my ex, and this is my new and this was ex before our common friend. and they all had kids. When Micheal's ex entered a new relationship TOM had a job offer in Seattle. TOM got Michael a job a Microsoft to keep the "family" together.
On the other extreme, my Sister-in-law who ALWAYS hosts Christmas dinner and big football day, has NEVER invited me once, to join the "truly extended" family. Thus I have missed out on all my nieces, nephews and cousins growing up. But that is HER believe about how you are supposed to treat someone "because she divorced MY brother". So why would I want to return to PHX for Christmas with MY family, when I have been excluded from the extended family. and the Biggest party of the year? I can't even be with MY family on Christmas because they ALL want to go to Auntie house !!!
I think what you are doing is BEST for you for everyone. I know your (soon to be ex) wife LOVES you as one of her best friends. I am trying to express this same thing to one of my former lovers. I am so grateful to have him back in MY life. We always had FUN together, but sex was never really great, and I am just not physically attracted to him. So why throw out a friendship just because it is NOT a romance?
poco a poco, one little step at a time. YES. I think I'll cut and paste what I shared with him this morning.
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NO one likes being out of their comfort zone. but think of LIFE.
Does a seed like having to PUSH through the ground to reach the sun?
Does a baby warm, and happy and
feed in the womb REALLY want to leave?
How many YEARS has the situation been ....a challenge?
From where I sit, there are TWO enablers. It is a choice, and then commitment to CHANGE. You can stay and everything will remain the same. The only person YOU can change is YOU.
Is the current situation good for anyone? If you stay, what changes?
If you change, then things have and MUST change.
Blue pill---Red pill. Are you ready to do things differently? LOTS of thing differently. Letting go of "other people's belief systems" brings YOU one step closer to FREEDOM.
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Change is never easy, just breath, and know you are going forward, and consider it a NEW adventure. YES it is not the
retirement you had envisioned 2 or 3 years ago, but it is FREEDOM. Once YOU are out of the military, YOU will change again. So consider YOU are reinventing YOU. There are no accidents, and I think it a miracle, you found me, as I as "in need" passing through Hawaii.
I truly feel so connect with the 3 of you, and YES Steve too. Maybe, just maybe someday we will have a senior center and he'll will be asked to manage the
project. vamos a ver....
Mahalo,
Elena
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Just a few examples of how polyamory might work.