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Dale's home security scare. Knocked a guy out with golf club !  RSS feed

Dale Hodgins
garden master
Posts: 6693
Location: Victoria British Columbia-Canada
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I got quite a scare a few minutes ago. Some fool tried to break into my friend's house. I heard a bit of commotion at the place next door, but just figured it was a party breaking up for the evening. Then I hear this thump on the roof. The guy must have found my ladder and decided to go up there for whatever reason. He had some animals with him ! We figured he was going to try to break through a skylight, so I waited by the biggest one with the golf club ready to strike. It was a tense moment. I was sweating like a pig.

So, there I am waiting and nothing but a few footsteps, then swoosh, he comes down the chimney head first. Just as he was about to get his left leg free I popped him. Two solid whacks to the back of his head and three more to the neck. He was out. I dragged him to the center of the living room and checked him for weapons. He wasn't armed. He was quite stout and wore a red and white suit. Most burglars go for black or gray. I don't know how a guy that size could sneak in this way.

The only thing he had with him was a big bag to put stolen loot into, but it was already full of stuff that he stole somewhere else. I started digging stuff out of the bag. There were tools, toys, blankets, candy canes, bikes ... !!! I couldn't believe it. This bag would not run dry. We filled the living room to about seven feet high and then went to the garage and filled it. I came back in and started loading the kitchen and dining room with stuff. Then there was a knock at the door, which I figured was the cops. It was a little guy with pointy ears wearing a green suit. He blew some sort of dust in my face, then he woke up the thief and helped him out the door. They took the bag. I was a bit groggy from whatever was in that dust, so I couldn't stop them. My friend got a huge whiff of the stuff and he can't remember any of this. He woke up and looked around and then hollered to his wife and kids. "Hey, get down here, You won't believe how much stuff Dale brought us for Christmas." I explained that I got them 5 each and that I have to deliver the others to a charity tomorrow. -------------------------------------- Nope !!!

I'm gonna sell this shit. I'm gonna rent a big You Haul and peddle this stuff on boxing day. There must be a thousand different packages.

I realize now that I made a big mistake ops: . ------------------ I should have kept the bag!!! If Mr. Red Suit tries this next year, I'm gonna grab the bag. If any of those little guys are with him, I'll lock them up in the basement and make them work at something. It's gonna be awesome.

These are not the droids you are looking for. Perhaps I can interest you in a tiny ad?
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