On their way to get married, a young Catholic couple is involved in a fatal car accident.
The couple find themselves sitting outside the Pearly Gates waiting for St. Peter to process them into Heaven.
While waiting, they begin to wonder: Could they possibly get married in Heaven?
When St. Peter showed up, they asked him.
St. Peter says, 'I don't know. This is the first time anyone has asked. Let me go find out,' and he leaves.
The couple sat and waited, and waited. Two months passed and the couple are still waiting. As they waited, they discussed that IF they were allowed to get married in Heaven, what was the eternal aspect of it all.
'What if it doesn't work?' they wondered, 'Are we stuck together FOREVER?'
After yet another month, St. Peter finally returns, looking somewhat bedraggled. 'Yes,' he informs the couple, 'you CAN get married in Heaven.'
'Great!' said the couple, 'But we were just wondering, what if things don't work out? Could we also get a divorce in Heaven?'
St. Peter, red-faced with anger, slams his clipboard onto the ground.
'What's wrong?' asked the frightened couple.
'OH,COME ON!' St. Peter shouts, 'It took me three months to find a priest up here! Do you have ANY idea how long it'll take me to find a LAWYER!
One morning, a millionaire was driving his car through the countryside. As he drove along a field, he saw the most beautiful horse he had ever seen standing in the field. Accustomed to having the finest, he decided right then and there to buy this one of a kind horse for his daughter. He drove a little farther until he found the farmer who owned the field.
Millionaire - "That is the best looking horse I have ever seen. I want to buy it."
Famer - "Ohh.. that horse there don't look too good, but I've got a different one if you are of a mind to buy a horse."
Millionaire - "What are you talking about? That horse looks great, it would be perfect for my daughter."
Farmer - "Your daughter wouldn't want that horse, he don't look good. I've got another one in the barn that looks much better".
The Millionaire was so insistent, that the farmer finally agreed to sell. The Millionaire sent a truck and trailer immediately to pick the horse up. The farmer led the horse into the trailer, received his money and waved goodbye. The farmer was just sitting down to supper when he heard a truck pull into the driveway. He went out to see who it was, and an extremely angry millionaire stomped up.
Millionaire - "I want my money back! My daughter tried riding him, and he walked into the fence three times. That horse is blind as a bat, how could you sell me a horse like that?"
Farmer - "I told you he don't look good, but you didn't believe me".
"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." C.S. Lewis
"When the whole world is running towards a cliff, he who is running in the opposite direction appears to have lost his mind." C.S. Lewis
An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle.
A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?" ......
"Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?"
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.