Yes. I wanted to talk about lowered expectations towards food in a collapse. Then I realised I have already had this conversation very recently and I can save myself a lot of 2 finger typing. My winter task was to write a prepper fiction book roughly based on where I see myself during this collapse. Im going to cut and paste this section. Some of it we've already talked about. It also hasn't been edited yet. Hopefully, its not to much for you folks. If its boring, feel free to ignore it. I wont be offended.
from Retrograde
Peter broke in, “So can you explain to us what this plan is of yours to get through this age of consequence?”
“If all else fails, lower your standards”.
At their confused expressions, I started rubbing my temples and rolling back my eyes.
“Wait! I hear a voice speaking to me from the ascended masters about our future. As I gaze down into my crystal beer mug, I see two square meals a day that involve squash.” Groans were heard around the table.
“I see life mainly consisting of pulling weeds, storing any food we can stomach and
cutting firewood to get through the next winter.
I see watching every item we now own breaking down and being set aside carefully for when we need a screw or a piece of metal.
I see a magical cure for diabetes. Simply staying alive is the cure with its reduced caloric intake and physical labour.
I see thieves and political extremists to be watchful of.
I see bicycling. Lots of bicycling followed by fixing bicycles and then walking.
I see a magical world where we will take whatever short term jobs will hire us and receive far far less than minimum wage.
I see leafy greens but only for part of the year. Yeh, I say onto thee there shall be manic swings between hating choking down anymore leafy greens and desperately missing them till late spring.
I see taxes not going away anytime soon but income tax shall not apply to thee for that would require a minimum income.
I see us building an
outhouse this week. One that composts our poo into fertilizer - seriously guys we have to stop using the toilet so all these extra people don’t overwhelm the aging septic system and cause us huge problems we can’t afford to fix anymore.
I see us introducing you to our simple pump
shower made of an antique fire extinguisher later today as we can no longer afford running the
hot water tank.”
“Shower. I could really use a
shower. It’s been a few days” Julia beamed.
“Don’t get too excited. You are going to love to hate it. Pumping it to get wet then having to stop to soap up. Having to start a fire in the
rocket stove to heat the water. But it’s warm and it works. A long, relaxing soak – it will never be again. Luckily we can still wash clothes but only on sunny days when we get enough
solar power. Of
course no dries.”
“Oh that’s way better than doing laundry in the sink. Next sunny day – we have a backlog of laundry if that’s alright with you.”
I turned back to Peter. “Sooo back to if all else fails lower your standards. We have a lot of standards that are unrealistic, purchased by credit, both personal and permies, paid in dollars that were also debt backed and printed out of thin air. So, future expectations have to be a lot lower. Without a functioning system…think third world lower. Even lower than that because they already know how to live that way.”
I put my fingers to my temples again and began to roll my eyes. “Nah. That psychic joke only works once. So I’m guessing when you heard this place referred to as a farm, you might have been envisioning to yourself starting the day with a hearty farmer’s breakfast – eggs and bacon, homemade bread with hand churned butter and home preserved jam. For lunch something simple some bread and soft cheese. Maybe a juicy
apple from the
trees. Dinner would have an old world flare, an old fashioned family with amish overtones. A roast
chicken or depending on the season a wild duck, rabbit or pheasant. Squirrels for an exotic survivalist flare. Maybe a hunk of venison roasted with carrots. Just like all those Harrowsmith
magazine images of homestead cooking. Now let’s go through all that food porn for a reality check. Let’s start with those morning eggs.
We have a dozen
chickens. They are completely free range other than their little fort knox
chicken coop where they get locked into at night to keep predators from snatching them. A chicken basically is a machine that converts other food into a protein source – eggs. They forage around but they are primarily grain eaters. They are totally dependent on us to
feed them especially through the winter. From fall on we get almost no eggs and yet we still have to feed them, mainly on store bought grains that we just cannot produce here. I’ve tried. I tried small grain production. We had to totally enclose it so the chickens and other birds didn’t go after the seeds. Once we had it we found we didn’t have any practical way to harvest and thresh it in enough quantity. Corn seemed the practical solution but the short growing season here has thwarted that. There are fields of corn nearby but that corn only grows due to mass fertilizers and heavy pesticides and the diesel powered heavy machinery for each part of the process. We are so desperate for a way to feed them that this year we are trying to start all the corn in the
greenhouse and transplant them. The chickens do get apples and cooked squash but they couldn’t survive on it. In warm climates they would be fine but here if we don’t feel them enough protein, they will stop producing eggs. So we have dark rich organic eggs. Very expensive eggs.
Onto the bacon. We luckily have a member that does fantastic smoked bacon. We also can feed pigs with what we can grow or gather. This still requires a rather large cold storage to keep all the squashes, beets, carrots, potatoes, applies as long into the winter as possible. You’ll notice we don’t have any pigs yet. That’s because we are behind the ball. We did like going away for a while, but that would require having someone that could feed the animals and very expensive fencing. We have people here now so now we can do it but we couldn’t beforehand. We will get on that. Still we are looking at about $100 per pig for a breed that can handle being outdoors in the winter weather. A breeding pair and a spare with no guarantee they will actually bread or not die or something.
Onto homemade bread. We already mentioned our problems with grain production. Then there is the propane for our stove which will eventually run out and that would mean alternative baking means supplied by lots of large logs that will need to be cut, hauled and seasoned.
Preserves. We have fruit a plenty and many years of canning lids stored. Where is sugar coming from? I suppose we could try extracting it from sugar beets but I have no idea how to do this. Once our sugar supply is gone, it’s gone.
Buter. Butter means
hay production and a way to store it to keep ruminants over the winter. Cows are too much work on a small scale so that leaves goats or sheep. Sheep are more suited to this climate. The sheep will need to be constantly knocked up to be producing
milk and we are back to thousands of dollars for fencing. To get around that we will tether them to tires so they can’t run off. A sheep herder would take one of us out of production and a herding dog would have to be trained and fed. Then there is the keeping coyotes and dogs at bay.
So lunch of bread and cheese. We’ve already covered those problems. And that nice juicy
apple. We have apples, lots of apples… but they don’t look or taste much like the ones you get in the stores. This would require spraying after every rain and fertilizer. Most fall off the trees before become ripe and those that do don’t store for long.
And now the dinner of roast chicken. I already talked about roasting. At the moment with our level of chick production, we will have chickens about five or six times a year. They will be small and will mainly be young rooster or old hens. Occasionally it will be one that a hawk or other predator has already killed, partially eaten, if we went fast enough to hear their warning cries and bring a rifle into play.
Wild duck, rabbit or pheasant. This involves the expense of bullets or shotgun shells which are pricy for the small amount of meat. It requires taking time away from food production,
firewood and fixing stuff. To take one that makes itself seen in daily life required having an uncomfortable long gun on your person at all times and you never know if its going to be the right gun for the job. So traps that need to be checked daily and hopefully your own animals won’t get caught in them so they have to be a decent distance away. You can’t over harvest them or there will be no more to breed.
Venison. We have lots of
deer here. They come for the apple trees and hay fields or to avoid predators that mainly respect the dogs’ territorial markings. By the time hunting season comes around, they suddenly get real scarce. Instantly they are gone. Deep in the forest or dead. They still come around at night, and jack lighting is an option but if you are caught poaching bye bye guns, hello huge fines and legal costs. This leaves poaching them long before hunting season when they show up and hopefully you have the right size gun on you when they make themselves seen. Trampling through the forest is an expenditure of calories. So let’s say you poach one off season. It needs to get into the freezer right away because it will start rotting almost immediately. It won’t taste all that good because a deer needs to be hung for a while in a cool place. This means a working freezer, or canning it or smoking and dehydrating it. Add to this, deer being very lean and not full of fat to bulk you up to get through winter. This brings you back to pigs, bear or beaver to mix with the deer for the extra fat.
And the carrots to accompany that meal. Carrots only produce seed the second year. This means keeping those carrots alive through a winter. We tried keeping them alive under hay but the ground freezes too deep here and killed them. Next attempt, we brought them indoors in sand. This worked but we screwed up replanting them in the
greenhouse. Next year we will put them directly back into the garden. We got a small amount of seeds but they don’t look all that healthy so we don’t know if they will sprout. Only time will tell and we have to start that experiment all over again on a larger scale. If we don’t succeed before our dwindling supply of carrot seeds runs out, bye bye carrots. Same with cabbage and beets. This is why squashes and beans are great because the seeds are pretty easy to figure out. You are going to just love shucking beans by hand whenever nothing else is going on. Plus you have to keep the carrots from cross pollinating with queen anne’s lace flower that grows a plenty around here. Reverting carrots to their wild form.
Survivalist squirrels. Oh there is plenty but they are small here and not really worth a 22 bullet. The cats occasionally drag one in and I supposed we could cook it up but better to just let the dogs or cats eat it which we must keep alive as well: dogs for the larger predators and smaller ones like raccoons that would just love the chickens, and cats to keep the vermin from taking over the wonderful feeding and housing rat Shangri-la we have created for them.
I just want to make sure you get all of this. We have the advantage over most in that we started all this years early and we had a lot of really good ideas we were convinced would work kicked right out of us. Failure has been a far better teacher than any book or youtube clip. It’s a constant trial and error.
By the way Josh, we had our first
experience of someone raiding the garden while you were away. I didn’t think it would start this soon but it looks like we have to start putting someone on watch. Luckily it wasn’t much, a few carrots and heads of broccoli. Probably some tomatoes as well but that’s hard to tell. No real loss. He must have ninjaed in at night. Neither of the dogs are going to be happy locked into the garden at night but they will have to get used to it. It may have been one of the neighbours down the road but I’m suspecting it might be someone like you and Tim that thought they could survive in the wild and ran out of food. It’s happening faster than I thought.”
Josh looked pissed, remembering the effort he put into that garden. “Anyone I find not supposed to be here, I’ll shoot on sight.”
“You better knock that shit right out of here. All these folks around here have a lot of relatives. If you shoot one of them, try picturing a future resembling the Hatfields and McCoys feud. A multi-generational blood feud would make life rather unpleasant. If someone were to shoot you in retaliation, I would miss you. Far far more important if someone shot me in retaliation, I would miss me. You, I could live without.” The table chuckled.
“Even if a guy in camouflage comes out of the bush with a gun, it might just be a lost hunter or someone that didn’t know the property line. We have to be smarter than this and exercise even more self control than before the crisis started. We actually have to be nicer to strangers. You’ll still go to prison if you murder someone… but then your problems would be solved. You’d get three meals a day, a warm bed… and a boyfriend.”
I went to the cupboard for a can of soup then turned back to Peter and Julia. I held up the can. “How many people do you think this can of soup can feed? It’s three years past the date on it by the way. Still fine. It’s basically an un-nutritious meal for one but we got it on sale for fifty cents. Now it’s just a flavouring. This can is going to feel us all tonight. We will have one big pot of spaghetti from the supplies you brought. This is the sauce to flavour it. Same idea for rice or potatoes or random veggies.
I remember my first round of shelling peas from the garden. We don’t have a million dollar factory of engineers, metallurgists, electricians,
energy specialists, the complex civil infrastructure that supports it, parts and materials from all over the globe… just to shell peas and put them in a bag. It took most of the day and a 12 pack in front of the TV simply to fill a bad that I could have bought at the store for 2 bucks. Tabby chided me that it wasn’t an effective use of my prepping time. I whipped her my usual cheezy grin and told her, ‘this is psychological prepping, princess. We have to get used to this. It’s not just a job for ‘brown’ people any more’. Badum dum.
Take away gas or electricity from the equation either through lack of supply or inability to actually pay for it… life is like a bag of peas. You never know how much effort it will take to get it. Life gets stripped down to food, firewood and fellowship. If life gets down to shucking peas for a tenth or twentieth of minimum wage, its ‘all about the soldier next to you’. Figuratively speaking, friends and family become your consolation wage to keep from going bug nuts.