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Being Different, Not Normal, End of the Day

 
Posts: 27
Location: TN, USA
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Dave Burton wrote:Being different is difficult, and doing things that are not "normal" are hard. I had not realized just how so emotionally difficult this can be, until now. And I am struggling to not become a porcupine and tell other people, "Well, stop gawking and move on with your life, would you?!? Unless you have a genuine interest and question about what I am doing and why I am doing it, fuck off!!! I don't want to hear anymore stupid or inane comments, thank you kindly!"

And so, throughout the day, I have to remind myself that (here's my new favorite phrase) "At the end of the day, all that matters is (insert thing that keeps you going)"
For me, the thing that keeps me going and perhaps makes me a bit of an asshole, too, is that remind myself that all that matters at the end of the day for me is:
-that I have honored myself (that's it. I do not have to honor anyone else or anything else- just honor and respect myself and my well-being)

I am trying my utmost to go with the whole inner-peace thing and be as kind as I can to people, so that I can get plant seeds into people's minds to get them to slowly change their perspectives. But it is just so hard to not just want to yell, "Well, fuck off already, would you?"

So, what do I usually get gawked at or shit for from family or people at college:
-acting on knowledge I have obtained myself and carefully considered (thinking and acting independently), instead of referring to "experts" or majority-will
-eating healthy
-enjoying the simple things in life (walking barefoot, getting dirty)
-reading a physical book
-participating in acts of creation (crochet and knitting being mine) (I don't really receive shit for this, just a lot of attention, which I don't like. I enjoy being in the background unnoticed)

What are things you do that are not normal? How do you cope with not being normal?



This is my daily torture all day every day. Every single word. I also need to be in the background, not bc I'm an introvert..but bc I hate all manner of attention. I remind myself constantly (it doesn't help at all) that it's me I'm fighting and my need to be completely true to myself in all things and I pick myself apart for a million reasons and question my every breath and, well, being alone and having a million other struggles like oh idk being a WOMAN just messes w me. I have to tell myself just relax. I'm just so sick of editing myself and filtering myself. Every day saying so how much of you are you planning on hiding, today or how fake should I be with this person? I mean if I'm accused of getting attention when I'm literally doing nothing I literally feel even a crotchet blanket should be kept out of sight. They might assume I want attention for it lol The answer is simple. They aren't critical thinkers. Never will be. People here are. But yes literally everything you said I could have wrote ( feeling like even reading a real book demands attention n isolation n like people are so miserable that even seeing a bare foot or someone treating themselves w basic respect agitates them or something) and regularly it causes me baseline anxiety to go alone with all my anxiety based on actually things that have happened that are serious AF. Ya know? Like serious attempts on my life for starters. Picking myself apart is a learned behavior for self protection. It gets to the point where I can't even be myself and the gawking is a billion times worse for a WOMAN. Trust me. Especially who has had explicit threats on her person her whole life for being extremely different m, independent, strong individual w integrity etc etc. I've been accused of being a witch since I was 6. Six. I didn't have an easy life.  Thing is I have a perverse need to avoid those similar to myself. And I made the decision to come here. To permies. Bc it's like my place. Knowing lol nobody here will like me, either. I'll live, dude.  Keep reading.  
 
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source
 
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Being "normal" is being part of the problem.
 
steward & bricolagier
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Ben Zumeta wrote:Being "normal" is being part of the problem.


I don't even try for normal... Couldn't do it even if I had to. I hear the music...

 
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