Burra Maluca wrote:Sounds to me like not listening, or caring enough about what is upsetting you to stop doing the thing you're complaining about when it's a valid complaint is a pretty BIG thing, not a little thing.
Maybe for anyone reading this, we could add 'someone who listens to me and cares enough to make changes' to the list of things that we might want to look for in a partner.
Meg Mitchell wrote:I find Austin's comment especially frustrating because a pattern I have often observed is, a woman will politely bring up a small issue and the man will tell her it's a non issue because in his mind, it's only an issue if it's something he cares about. She brings it up a few times and is summarily dismissed or ignored each time, so she stops trying to bring it up, and then after months/years of putting up with it, she goes off and he says, why didn't you say anything? Thankfully I've never been in this scenario with a romantic partner, only dealt with it in male relatives and observing other people's living situations. Communication is a 2 way street and it requires the person receiving the message to listen and consider what's being said. If you dismiss someone else's concerns immediately because they seem petty to you, I don't see how that can be a healthy relationship. There are always going to be things that one partner cares about more than the other. If you only care about your things and the other person only cares about their things, are you even in a loving relationship or are you just roommates who are angry at each other all the time?