Dez's Bootcamp Experience (BRK)

Dez, just a quick thank you....I loved them!!!

POST 333 (DAY 343, Sunday, 2021.7.18)
[Morning Entry]

.... a day of boring nothingness is what the doctor prescribed for yesterday.. no agenda, no objective, no schedule..
.... the day began with easy morning tea, which led to a design session of a tiny tea house, which led to a design discussion about a walking meditation space.. this brought me some brain pain from too much thinking, so I went for a nap to cool my brain a bit.. just before the nap, I cooked a steak for the non-vegan option of our fried rice lunch with tofu, mushrooms, and lots of lurve (aka love).. then came some much desired alone time.. the first few spots that I chose just didn’t feel right, so I defaulted to my go-to spot between the FPH and my favorite tent pad—it was perfect.. after that the bunk room was empty so some singing ensued for a couple of songs (otherside by the qu33n b33, and Tennessee whiskey).. now it’s time to get some dinner.. crab legs because it was a special occasion—the day of boring nothingness, of course!!

POST 334 (DAY 344, Monday, 2021.7.19)
[Morning Entry]

.... safety and vulnerability.. exercise regimen.. just those words today.. sentences not forming!.. :)

POST 335 (DAY 345, Tuesday, 2021.7.20)
[Morning Entry]

.... yesterday was gardening watering day.. I must have forgotten to take pics for some reason.. zeek got into some crazy ish again.. this time he sneezed out a four inch piece of grass from his nose.. and it’s a mystery why there’s tree sap in random areas of his fur.. anyway, last night I dreamed that I was working for m0d p1zza.. they treated me well enough to make me feel like staying on board.. but the income proved much too little.. I couldn’t make ends meet and began to consider other job options.. lucky for me I knew it was just a dream so I consciously decided to ride the story.. nothing really happened.. I enjoyed my time in that period of living and then woke up..
.... pics from this morning..

POST 336 (DAY 346, Wednesday, 2021.7.21)
[Morning Entry]

....

POST 337 (DAY 347, Thursday, 2021.7.22)
[Morning Entry]

.... acknowledge, praise, encourage..
.... acknowledge, praise, humor..
.... acknowledge, praise, direct/inspire..
.... these recipes I remember from my best and favorite teachers, growing up.. not from explanation, rather from modeling, showing.. mr keeney, ms hope, coach roach, mr brose, mr alcosser, thank you..

POST 338 (DAY 348, Friday, 2021.7.23)
[Morning Entry]

.... releasing control.. they say money isn’t evil, but that it does magnify character.. so when there’s more money in the picture whatever rude, crass, fearful character is within starts to step into the light.. fortunately, the other character is also magnified—the generous, smart, loving being also steps into the light.. someone might argue that only one of these characters would show up at any one time.. maybe I wouldn’t know.. what I’m noticing about me these days isn’t only in my relation with money (quick plug.. thanks to all the generous pledgers by the way, for following through with your character and helping a fellow permie out.. with the funds, I have been treating other community members with yummy foods, as well as buying me a pair of shoes, and plan to use the rest for upcoming projects on my plot!)
....back to the relationships—my relationship with people.. just as money magnifies character, so seems to be that community magnifies character.. I find myself facing a guy in the mirror that feels the gratitude for the benefits of being in community AS WELL AS the guy that resents so many petty things.. you know, things like dirty cup CSI and such.. what are we really talking about? It certainly isn’t life or death, but merely a difference in standards.. and these differences seem to wedge between like gritty sand in an ocean side picnic sandwich.. what else though? What other beautiful monster can come of this revealing of the guy that resents petty things?.. does he need a mentor or guide to help navigate beyond and far beyond the stifling rocks of being and experiencing the full spectrum of human feelings?.. perhaps I was just so used to ignoring this character within me, simply because I could.. now that I’m in community, each turn is another mirror, and another beautiful monster looking for love..
.... specifically, my own standards for communication are what I’m to work on.. rather than trying to control situations.. :)