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29yr old poly/non-mono woman, W. Oregon, seeking primary  RSS feed

 
Faren Leader
Posts: 9
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Hi everyone! I am a single, non-monogamous/polyamorous, atheist woman living in the gorgeous mid-Willamette Valley. I am 29 years old and have a son who just turned 8, who lives with me during the school weeks and spends most weekends with his dad. In the summer we split time with him 50/50. I am not a poly person who needs multiple relationships in her life at once, and in fact at this stage I am looking for a man in the 26-42 age range who could become my primary, life partner without any other romantic involvements for awhile as we build a strong bond, trust, and healthy communication habits.

I'm still a few years off from my main homesteading/permaculture goals because of student loan debt I'm working on paying off, so you would need to be someone who could feel okay living together in a minimalistic way in a suburban area, sharing in my coordination of a local community vegetable garden, and getting away to the woods for camping and hiking during the spring/summer/fall, while we dream and plan for our future homestead endeavors with a "5-8 years from now" timeframe. Right now is a time for learning, planning, and connecting with other permies.

You should:
- Be eager to live in a mindful, minimalist way
- Be excited about permaculture and how it can be applied to a small scale homestead
- Feel comfortable living rurally
- Be non-religious
- NOT be a user of any drugs other than occasional marijuana (I do not use it, but am very comfortable with those who do so on occasion)
- Be between the ages of 26 and 42 and not currently involved in a serious relationship/married
- Be poly/non-monogamous or at least radically non-possessive/non-jealous in your romantic connections
- Be ethically/politically very progressive/liberal, I am feeling the Bern!
- Be on a track toward having the financial resources to contribute toward the purchase of a small amount of land in the next few years (I will not depend on you financially to buy land for me, and nor should you depend on me for this....I want us to both have worked toward having the resources to buy it together).
- Want to live in a nuclear family setup on your future homestead rather than an intentional community with many people (though I could foresee having some WWOOFers around in the warm season)
- Potentially be attracted to a larger-bodied (though not huge), pale-skinned, freckly woman with long dark brown hair and grey-green eyes who is bisexual
- Be comfortable becoming an important person to my child, currently age 8, who does not need a replacement father but who deserves kind and loving treatment
- Be okay moving to or staying in Western Oregon or SW Washington, as I will not separate my son from his relationship with his dad by moving long-distance. It's gorgeous here anyway, so once you see this area you'll probably want to live here!

If this sounds like you, or sounds like some other young handsome permie you happen to know, please reach out to me! soilseedandsun@riseup.net
 
Kyrt Ryder
Posts: 746
Location: Graham, Washington [Zone 7b, 47.041 Latitude] 41inches average annual rainfall, cool summer drought
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What if a prospective partner were radically non-governmental in thinking? Doesn't care what you do but supports nothing involving government whatsoever?
 
Faren Leader
Posts: 9
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Hi Kyrt,

Thank you for your reply. I respect your right to hold those views about governmental systems, but unfortunately I do not share them and I don't believe I would be well matched with someone who believes that way. I wish you well!
 
Shawn Harper
Posts: 360
Location: Portlandia, Oregon
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Is the no current relationships a requirement or preference? I can understand that concern that a current relationship might take a primary role, but I do not ascribe to relationship hierarchy, and my current partner knows I am hoping to find another primary.
 
Faren Leader
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Hi Shawn, thank you for the message.

No current primary relationships is a requirement, sorry. I really want a two-partner nuclear family structure, with the openness to have secondary partners after a year or two of giving one another the gift of our emotional energy to create a strong foundation and communication dynamic. I respect your choice of non-hierarchical polyamory, but I'm sorry to say it's just not for me. I find myself to be a very unjealous person, in that when my partner starts to see a new partner I feel nothing but joy and gladness rather than any negative feelings to sort through-- still, I need the security of a partner who has chosen me and only me to live with. Non-hierarchical styles are just too uncertain for me. I don't want to begin building a homestead with someone only to have him move out to live with someone he feels more strongly about, nor do I want his new sweetie to move in with us and live as a triad or other group romantic dynamic. I've been in a handful of poly relationships before and have just found that non-hierarchical styles don't work very well for me. Sorry again! Good luck in your search.
 
Rambo Richardson
Posts: 1
Location: Portland, Oregon
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I'm not looking for a relationship with you but I would like to consider recruiting you for my non-profit organization...or in short buying land together.
 
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