Concrete has crushed stone in it partly to improve the strength, and perhaps partly to stretch the cement (if half the bulk is gravel, there is much less cement needed). I can't say definitively that gravel increases the strength of cob, but it doesn't weaken it, and definitely reduces the amount of clay you have to process.
For proportions, I tend to use a pile of straw that is 1/4 to 1/2 as big as the pile of clay. You will learn the best proportions for your use with practice - you will be mixing a lot of batches

You want to be able to take a handful of cob, pull it apart, and have several strands of straw resisting the pull.
The less drying time you give, the better the join between lifts. As far as days, that totally depends on your weather. I would ideally want the previous lift to be stiff enough to not slump if you poke or jiggle it, but no more. That means the lift below that will be very stiff.