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You know you're a permie when...

 
master pollinator
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Location: South-southeast Texas, technically the "Golden Crescent", zone 9a
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Howdy!
I see your pocket slug and raise you a confused chicken in the sweet potatoes. Couldn't put her into my pocket, though she did try to kick everything out of my "gardening" basket.

You know you're a Permies when:
                                                          You get a bit unhappy with your very nice neighbor who mowed your lawn for you, even though you had asked him not to. He didn't raise his deck at all, let alone to 3 inches,  and mowed over your recently found wild grape. (At least the other wild grape has ripe fruit?)

                                                          You check to make sure the glass bottles you have in the back shed are still in good condition because the thought of setting up your own vinegar with some Mother means you will need a place to store that lovely good bacteria inside something sterilizable. And you have forgotten if they were thoroughly cleaned or not.

                                                            You are finding that rolled paper products have rolls that make easy seedling starters, contemplating making paper pots for larger plants,  and realizing you can put those starters out in the garden instead of continuing to pot and repot, and move up to a still larger pot.
 
pollinator
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Location: New Hampshire
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Your driveway becomes an obstacle course when you score a 70 cubic yard delivery of wood chips from your local tree trimmer company 2 days before you are scheduled to have 10 yards of the good compost delivered.  
 
steward & bricolagier
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Kate Muller wrote:Your driveway becomes an obstacle course when you score a 70 cubic yard delivery of wood chips from your local tree trimmer company 2 days before you are scheduled to have 10 yards of the good compost delivered.  



You know you are a permie when you read that and say "I'm envious!!" :D
 
pollinator
Posts: 233
Location: N.E.Ohio 5b6a
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If your 17 year old son can be found about 8 pm after working all day laying in the grass between his chicken tractors watching a u-tube of his favorite farmer.

I have no room to complain if that's what he wants to do after working over 12 hours.
 
Posts: 30
Location: Colorado Springs, Zone 4b
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< Or you get to where everything is so far from the disturbed soil stage that you can't grow plantain in your medicinal herb patch without transplanting them. So all your plantain is in a nice neat row. >

Ain't that the truth. And then you're upset when the bugs reduce them all to skeletons. I've been having the hardest time getting those guys to grow. They're hanging on but not much more than that. And yes, they're planted in a nice neat row.

And then you see all the tanning places in town and want to take in a stack of deer hides. And then you realize that they aren't nearly as useful a place as you first thought. And then you want to walk in with a pile of hides anyway just to see everyone's reactions. Besides, they'd never do anything better than chemical tanning. Too bad brain tanning is so much work. But once you use buckskin you can never go back to using leather.
DK
 
Posts: 6
Location: the burren. west of Ireland
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When you love telling normies that you compost your own chocolate, as you wait to see the expression on their faces as they realise what you just said..... 🤣🤣🤣😂😎
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
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Your image of your gardening self has changed...
I always thought I'd grow up to be a lovely fairy, taking care of the plants, reading in the flowers and drinking tea from fine china.



But I seem to have grown up to be Mr MrGregor "Get out of my garden ya damn bunnies!!"  



Not sure how this happened. May have been the decapitated zinnias....
:D
 
master gardener
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Location: Maine, zone 5
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Haha Pearl!  Not sure what has happened to me.  I used to try and keep the critters out and now I talk to them and plant things I think they'll like.  We had a young deer one fall that may have lost it's mum during hunting season that I would bring apples to....poor baby!  I just work around their damage (lost a bunch of chestnut seedlings and a few fruit tree seedlings this year, and deer have been eating comfrey and sunchoke tops....I just grow lots more).  I tell myself that I'm still on the path to supporting all the trophic levels...getting there!
 
Christopher Shepherd
pollinator
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Location: N.E.Ohio 5b6a
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When your 17 year old son tries to get a candy bar that is given out to the fathers after church on fathers day.  He said" I'm a father too, I got three kids at home."
IMG_20210619_220026882.jpg
[Thumbnail for IMG_20210619_220026882.jpg]
 
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Too cute! Are they Nigerian Dwarves? And yes, those of us who have fur kids, deserve a candy bar!
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
Posts: 181
Location: South-southeast Texas, technically the "Golden Crescent", zone 9a
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Howdy!

And yes, those of us who have fur kids, deserve a candy bar!


Don't forget the feathered kids! I swear my geese are stuck somewhere between 3 years old and 5 years old. I get a lot of little temper tantrums, and the goose equivalent of foot stomping to where they're supposed to be right then.

You know you have a Permies' mindset when your spouse agrees that it is time to replace in chicken's roosting spot, and you spend all day dreaming up fancy chicken roost stuff, even while realizing that you're probably going to end up with something made out of T-posts, 2x4s and a lot of "That looks about right".
 
pollinator
Posts: 357
Location: south-central ME, USA - zone 5a/4b
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Kristine Keeney wrote:Howdy!

You know you have a Permies' mindset when your spouse agrees that it is time to replace in chicken's roosting spot, and you spend all day dreaming up fancy chicken roost stuff, even while realizing that you're probably going to end up with something made out of T-posts, 2x4s and a lot of "That looks about right".



Not quite t-posts and 2x4s, but sorta like this?

Note: the screened "box" is Penny's bed (LGD - fourth photo), ducks got right side of structure (third photo), chickens got middle and sitting hens got left side with makeshift nest boxes (second photo)

You know you're a permie when a vinyl tarp, a chainsaw, a good dog and a roll of plastic deer fencing equals seemingly endless eggs, a bit of winter meat, the best bug control money can buy and a future pre-fertilized food forest plot
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[Thumbnail for penny-midflight.JPG]
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
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When removing the row cover that has been over the beans so their flowers can be pollinated, you give the beans "the talk." You know, about the birds and the .... bees. Telling them how much they'll enjoy being pollinated...

And OH MY! A butterfly was there almost immediately!  He moves fast
 
pollinator
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Location: Canadian Prairies - Zone 3b
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Pearl Sutton wrote:When removing the row cover that has been over the beans so their flowers can be pollinated, you give the beans "the talk." You know, about the birds and the .... bees. Telling them how much they'll enjoy being pollinated...

And OH MY! A butterfly was there almost immediately!  He moves fast


You can't leave teenagers alone for a minute!

If you grab video of this, make sure you add a change of lighting and bad porn music at the right moment. Funny as hell, and possible a passive income opportunity on GooTube.
 
Kim Huse
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*LOL* are you sure he isn't related to my family? "thats about right' was a mantra my father lived by....*LOL*

 
gardener
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You know you're a permie when.... you're at your favorite plant retail outlet buying winter starts and a guy comes out of the back, looks at you with head cocked, and says "You look like someone who could use this... You want 200 baby romaine lettuces I didn't sell last week and have to throw away?"
Why thanks for the compliment sir, and hell yes I do indeed!

(and yes, I roped the city-boy spouse into helping to mob-plant the hundreds and hundreds of seedlings I brought home, with nary a complaint, since now he's hooked on the organic goodies from the garden. Also gave 25 lettuces to my neighbor. More of us!)
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
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Howdy!

Douglas Alpenstock
*LOL* are you sure he isn't related to my family? "thats about right' was a mantra my father lived by....*LOL*


Yeah, Darling Adorable is pretty relaxed about some things. He was part of initial manning for a boomer sub, so there are some things he gets particular about getting "right".

He is from an All American melting pot kind of family - 2 Native American tribes, Russian, Scots, Maybe some French, English and Irish in there, too. I learned to appreciate Vietnamese food from his Aunt Snow. I have started thinking that his family is, more or less, related to everyone. (Shake well and decant into Texas Hill Country.)

You Know you're a Permie when: You have to explain to more than one healthcare provider that the reason you are looking tired is you spent way too much time taking care of a sick goose, trying to find the critter that's turning your squash leaves into fine lace, and finishing packing boxes to send to new family members (toddlers are amazing small people!) to test a new online discounted postage purchasing service. (It worked - Pirate Shipping, very cool!)

My psychiatrist actually put down his pen to turn and look at me. "You said a ...goose..?" Me - Uh huh. I've been telling you about my flock for years.
"But, ... a goose?"
Only made better by the three residents/interns he has this year who are trying Not To Laugh. Because Goose.
 
Douglas Alpenstock
pollinator
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Making a psychiatrist do a double take? Haha, that's awesome.

BTW I think the quote belongs to Kim Huse.
 
gardener
Posts: 379
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Kristine Keeney wrote:My psychiatrist actually put down his pen to turn and look at me. "You said a ...goose..?" Me - Uh huh. I've been telling you about my flock for years.
"But, ... a goose?"  


And I thought I was the only one talking to a professional about my flock! You know you're a permie when you spend an entire session in therapy talking about the struggles of being a new parent...to baby chickens. Luckily, my therapist found it pretty relatable and understandable, if a little unusual.

You know you're a permie when "Guess what? Chicken butt.", suddenly becomes a joke played on you by actual chickens who jump on your backside while you're trying to put their food dishes on the ground. Only you know exactly which chicken it is, so not much guessing involved really.  
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
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You know you're a Poultry Permie when :
    Your neurosurgeon starts to take your questions about "Could the infection have been triggered by something from my back coop? As far as I know, I haven't been around any other potential source of anaerobic bacteria," seriously, because your husband nods and says "We'll have to rethink that move on the back section, then.". And that starts off a whole discussion best described as "Poultry Husbandry for Neurosurgeons". (The answer was "No", btw)

    Your martial arts instructor is used to you having to skip class because "These (baby whatevers) just came in and I can't get the brooder set-up to stabilize." And the office staff will be mollified about your absence as long as you bring pictures and video of the new little peepers.

    You get asked if the name of your new gosling can be something of a prize for the kids at the dojo to work for - attendance and other things on a point system, and the kids can win different things, and they want to name your fluffball. So you now have a gosling named "Betelgoose".

     You have other adults at the dojo who ask "Are you still doing chickens?" (which, really? What do you think I'm *doing* with chickens?) which is just an open door for a conversation about CSAs and how you'd be open to raising more birds, but you need the support of someone willing to either front the money for the building of infrastructure, or willing to sign up for a weekly "subscription" for meat and/or eggs. Like "Don't come at me, bro. I just got off the mats and need to get home to do the work that your book says only takes 15 minutes a day." (eye roll)

      When those same people get a bit twitchy because you already have 7 people who are on some sort of egg delivery schedule and payment plan, and until the pullets start laying, you won't have additional eggs to sell.  "But the ones in the store are so expensive!" Well, yeah. I thought you didn't want either a CSA or subscription agreement. These people do - and are already on the list.

       When your Primary Care doctor asks you about what's going on with the flock, before anything else, and has advice about what to do when you get another weird injury.

        When your neurologist throws his hands up and just shakes his head because you aren't giving up raising poultry, having a garden, or karate, but those keep you motivated to keep doing your exercises so he can't complain.

       When your endocrinologist stops talking about how you should be doing more cooking at home because you finally get her to understand that thanks to being able to rethink your pantry, all you eat is homemade.
 
gardener
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Kristine Keeney wrote:

So you now have a gosling named "Betelgoose".

I may be getting a new gosling this week - can I steal that name?
(Back-story: my lovely goose died a couple of weeks ago and her mate is lonely. I have a chance for a rescue goose who happens to have a gosling and "would I take both?" Ah... yes, I would not separate them! Just awaiting confirmation and transfer date - fingers crossed!)
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
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Location: South-southeast Texas, technically the "Golden Crescent", zone 9a
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Howdy!
Sure! Have at! The world needs more strange names.

That was created by a 11 year old black belt who was thrilled that he *finally* got to name something (It's been a busy year for him - newly adopted little brother and brand new baby sister).
He wasn't thrilled that he didn't get to keep the gosling, but learning he could come and visit any time he gets a ride out here seems to have helped.
He would be even more excited to learn that his name is being shared by another goose.
 
Douglas Alpenstock
pollinator
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Kristine Keeney wrote: So you now have a gosling named "Betelgoose".



I assume said gosling knows where his/her/? towel is?
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
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Said gosling isn't sure what species he is, let alone if he has his towel. More of the protagonist in that story, permanently confused and looking for a good cuppa, than any cool frood of a bird.
He's finally starting to "goose" instead of "chicken", but he keeps an eye on Mom (Hattie Dorking of the many adventures), who keeps an eye on him.

As far as I know he's not Spirit folk, either, so saying his name three times doesn't get you a squealing gosling begging for food.  (It was tried by the namer. He was disappointed.)
Sorry about that.

You Know you're a Poultry Permie when : after a nasty autoimmune attack of The Creeping Yuck, your first priority is to make sure all your failsafe backups worked for taking care of the garden/poultry/trees. *Then* you'll think about making sure you make adjustments and get inside before you, metaphorically, die from the heat.

                                                                         Your Postal Person, not trusting in the appearance or absence of a vehicle in your driveway, puts the large boxes of new spiffy expensive things right behind the gate to the "poultry yard" because "Nobody's gonna go up against those crazy birds!" You look at your Darling Adorable and you both shrug because he's right. and at least the boxes are safe.

                                                                         Your main frustration about the increasing appetite of the newly rechristened gosling is that he's insisting on having someone guard his back while he chows down, because chickens are mean, even when you're taller and massier than they are.  Trying to figure out how to babysit a fledgling goose while doing the rest of my outside chores isn't anywhere on my skills list, but I'm putting it there, soon.        

                                                                        The feed store calls before they close on Sunday because they hadn't seen you in on the weekend and wondered if you were okay.
                                                             
Hope y'all had a great weekend!
 
Pearl Sutton
steward & bricolagier
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I made up a new yoga move today...
Leaning over, feet shoulder width apart, body bent into a triangle, hands on the ground, then lift one hand and pull that weed...
Downward Facing Crab Grass!



Downward Facing Dog yoga pose
 
Kristine Keeney
master pollinator
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Put a 5 pound weight in that hand, and alternate hands lifting weight, and it's the move a physical therapist gave me for strengthening my shoulders.

Lift that hand and do a one handed pushup without falling over and it's the new torture pushup from my martial arts instructor. I think he's now just making up stuff for the lols. Watching more then 20 people try to not fall over like that has got to be pretty funny.

You know you're a Garden Permie when : your main consideration when looking at the "late summer garden" is "What did I learn *this year* that I will do better/not do at all next year?"
                                                                       You have decided that planting inside the chicken's yard was a good decision, but maybe that lovely flat are in the front is better because, there's a lot of lovely flat and if you get started soon,
                                                                        it'll be perfect for the Spring.
                                                                        While recovering from an unfortunate experience, you start looking at the yard and thinking about where you'd prefer to put next year's garden and how much work would that really be? (see
                                                                         above)
 
master gardener
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When, as I drink my morning coffee, I come to the realization that I have a pile of 60 fence posts in my yard .... and they are all untreated.
 
Heather Sharpe
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You know you're a permie when in the course of visiting your local natural food store, the person helping you makes a point of telling you about their outdoor composting toilet they just built and insists on finding a picture on their phone to show you. And you're just as excited about it as they are. And kind of touched that they felt comfortable talking to you about it, even though as far as I can recall, I've never mentioned our composting toilet to her.
 
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Instead of going to the kitchen to eat you go outside and start picking and eating what you planted.
 
Tereza Okava
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You know you're a permie when you offer to go weed/prune other people's yards because your garden is already in and ready to go with nothing to do but WAIT and your hands are itching to get dirty!
(you know you're really a permie when the people who know you are totally unsurprised and don't even need an explanation. "Oh sure, I'll leave the gate open.")
 
Pearl Sutton
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You have a tick obsession!

In my defense, a lot of the health stuff I fight with already looks like Lyme Disease, I pass all the blood tests for it though, but I DEFINITELY don't want Lyme on top of what I have already.

But my deep thoughts on ticks today....

When you have a lice comb in the shower, use it after washing your hair after being out in tick territory. don't know if it helps, can't hurt any.

When the worst part of tick season is having to examine your own naked body in the mirror (ew! Need to work out more!) as once you are past 17 and sexy no one else cares to check you for ticks.

When you sing this song in the shower:

I was just in a field of wildflowers, seeding the bee balm, and .... a guy who wants to check me for ticks? RAWR.

Ticks suck!

:D

 
Pearl Sutton
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Posts: 7968
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In a day that looks like it will be full of seeds and canning and planting, two incidents stand out before noon, both involving purple pole beans....

Having an argument with a bean plant.
Me: Hey, you can't do that, I'm going to unwind you from there, bad bean!
Bean: You have heard of the three sisters growing system?
Me: This is not a three sisters bed, you are lying. This is you running amok and strangling that poor tomato! Let it GO!

And...
At the chiropractor yesterday I told his office manager I was canning up purple pole beans. She said she had never even heard of purple beans. So today while I was in the garden, I found a few that I missed yesterday, took them over to her to taste and see.  

I will give her seeds for the purple pole beans, her youngest grandkid (who lives with her) eats plants out of the yard, with or without permission, she'll put them on the fence so he can graze. Still time for them to produce here.

Then she asked "Where do you even GET seeds for things like this?"  Mwahahaha!!! Type in RareSeeds.com now search "purple"....  When I left she was running up a tab  :D  

I told her the grandkids that live with her want Chioggia beets She said she doesn't like beets, I told her these don't have the flavor she doesn't like in a beet, and the kids will love them raw. She ordered some. Yay! Contaminating innocent victims with Baker Creek heirloom seeds!!  :D

 
Christopher Shepherd
pollinator
Posts: 233
Location: N.E.Ohio 5b6a
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If while picking berries you realize the dark hairs on your arms have been bleached blonde by the sun.

If at 9:30 on a Friday evening you say to a 16 year old young woman helping you "This is why we never watch tv, we have too much fun farming." and she replies " You don't need a tv, you do every day what we dream of while watching tv.  You live your own tv show.".  She din't go home until about 10:30 when the chores were finally done.

If you realize how much you have failed to teach your son the observing part of permaculture.  My 17 year old son tells me no body really cares about how we grow food.  He says no body like raising animals.  I say poor Eor. You all know how dads don't know much at this age, so a proposed a question to him.  Why on earth would a cute little 16 year old young woman want to run around and work on a farm for, if she isn't interested in something?  
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Unofficial Companion Guide to the Rocket Oven DVD
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