Someone said something yesterday. It was unnecessary and unkind and very very public. It's also not the first time. There is a trend in that group to say things to keep people
in their place and discourage newcomers to the craft while pretending to be kind. Things that when you look at the individual words aren't mean at all, but the cumulative effect is hugely damaging. (the thing is, I don't even think they know they are doing it, or that their words can completely shift the direction of a life - and then they wonder why it's so hard to get new people...anyway)
So I gave myself a few hours to feel angry about it. And I got really angry. I didn't throw things, but a lot of weeds died and firewood
got ready for winter.
I do not do well with gatekeeping.
Now I'm in the place where I'm thinking the best revenge is success.
Trying to decide what to do with this energy
How can I feed
this energy into growing my youtube channel
faster than it is already?
There are some ideas in my head I'm trying to sort through once I finish CAPEtember2022
. Organizing the yarn and getting it ready to become cloth has been a big help organizing my thoughts. Another reason why I'm enjoying this project
so much. I can't wait to see how it turns out.
I'm also thinking about where I want to put my energy in the upcoming year. I should
be teaching beginner weaving again, but this was difficult on my health. It took 100% of my energy for several weeks before, during, and after the 6 weeks of teaching. I think we can tell by how tired I am in this video
So... it's about energy. Transforming and directing it and making choices about this.
I wonder where I will go with this. I'm excited to find out.