autism

I occasionally respond to posts on other topics.  It often happens that I think I know more science about something than a previous commenter has, and I respond.  My response is not in general, to say that someone is wrong.  It is to say we have a difference in opinion, which might require further study.

I am not trying to attack people.

paul wheaton wrote:chase:  all crows have black feet

jessica:  here is a picture of my crow with red feet

Seems like everything is okay to me.  

Of course if it were "you are wrong.  here is a picture of my crow with red feet." then I would have a problem with that.

If I was to ask my doctor (if I had one) whether my leg was broken or not, it is mostly a binary (yes or no) answer.  But there are some circumstances where a doctor might have to think a while as to what the definition of broken was for the patient, before being able to answer.

Autism occurs on a spectrum, with respect to all kinds of things.  And it is not unusual to find that an autistic person also has other "problems".

To me, what I've written already, is dumb.  If someone is autistic (language deficit or not), the way their brain is wired is different.  There are parents all over the world, looking to "cure" their child of autism.  How do you rewire a brain?  For me, the answer is their is no "cure" for autism.  You just have to live with how they are different.

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:Of those on the spectrum that do suffer from social awkwardness or a lot of anxiety how many would say they are glad they are that way and wouldn't change it if they could? !

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:A less extreme example may be a 3 year old worth with aspergers, severe social anxiety etc... He may grow up to be functional, hold down a job (even a great job) etc...but his limited social skills could cause him decades or even a lifetime of unhappiness/loneliness as an incel (though grant it if he makes a whole lot of money that isn't likely to happen).

All adults realize life includes pain, and bad experiences, however most all parents would ideally like to help their children avoid really painful experiences if at all possible. IMO it isn't about "changing them" as much as doing everything possible to give them the skills they lack in order to maximize their life opportunities and satisfaction. Of those on the spectrum that do suffer from social awkwardness or a lot of anxiety how many would say they are glad they are that way and wouldn't change it if they could? In the case of social awkwardness I am sure some honestly don't care (cause they have 4chan, video games and p0rn), but the ones that DO care would most likely fix it if they could!

Of those on the spectrum that do suffer from social awkwardness or a lot of anxiety how many would say they are glad they are that way and wouldn't change it if they could?

Nicole Alderman wrote:
As for curing autism, I'm really happy I'm an aspie. I love my truthful, inquisitive, focused traits. I do, however, like when I'm less overstimulated in stores and overwhelmed by new circumstances and unable to cope. I've found that those traits can be kind of mitigated for me through diet and sleep. If I get enough sleep and stay away from grains and processed junk, I'm less overstimulated and more able to deal with the craziness of my children and shopping and annoying sounds and curveballs that life throws at me.

So, while I would never want to cure my autism, or the autism in my husband and probably in my offspring, I do want to help us all be able to be less overstimulated and less prone to fight/flight reflexes and more able to cope with the stresses that life sometimes throws at us. I wouldn't take meds for it, or give my kids meds. But, avoiding junk food, reducing what stress I can, and getting us more sleep, that I can and will do!

Burra Maluca wrote:

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:Of those on the spectrum that do suffer from social awkwardness or a lot of anxiety how many would say they are glad they are that way and wouldn't change it if they could? !

Well me for a start.

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:

If I was to ask my doctor (if I had one) whether my leg was broken or not, it is mostly a binary (yes or no) answer.  But there are some circumstances where a doctor might have to think a while as to what the definition of broken was for the patient, before being able to answer.

Autism occurs on a spectrum, with respect to all kinds of things.  And it is not unusual to find that an autistic person also has other "problems".

To me, what I've written already, is dumb.  If someone is autistic (language deficit or not), the way their brain is wired is different.  There are parents all over the world, looking to "cure" their child of autism.  How do you rewire a brain?  For me, the answer is their is no "cure" for autism.  You just have to live with how they are different.

I am not on the spectrum and I haven't looked into autism all that much...but I still have some thoughts on the matter.

While it may be impossible to "rewire" a brain, there is lots of good evidence that brains can compensate and active different regions to learn skills (or relearn skills in the case of brain injury or stroke). And there is also good evidence that some forms of behavioral therapy can do a LOT to give autistic kids more skills, and in some cases turn non-verbal autistic kids into fully functional adults that only show signs of mild Aspergers.

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:

An example might be a non-verbal 3 year old autistic boy that suffers from temper tantrums, has no tolerance for stress, and will only eat one or two foods. When they are three years old parents may decide to cherish their child's differences and individuality and do their best to make their child's life as happy and stress free as possible. However 20 years later, when that child is a 225 lb man, and the temper tantrums are no longer "annoying" but now downright dangerous, that kid may end up in a state run institution with a permanent feeding tube for the rest of his life.  Respecting a 3 year olds differences and "choices" that could have a severely negative impact for the rest of their lives is not at all fair IMO, it may be trendy to respect individuality and accept all differences, but the long term consequences can be horrible.

I'm sorry, I don't have a good or even reasonable response to this.

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:
I recall working with at least two people in the late 90's that in hindsight almost certainly had Aspergers (though at the time I didn't know that Aspergers existed). Both were in very stressful sales environments where emotions ran high, and in both cases these individuals became downright hated by some others on the staff because they were pushing buttons and pissing people off on what seemed like a constant basis, and when people became upset they wouldn't stop but instead seemed to LIKE twisting the knife in the wound. One individual was a male manager in his 40's and he came very close to getting punched during a heated encounter (though I am sure he had no clue).

Gordon Haverland wrote:Somebody has sent me "pie".  I have absolutely no idea what to do with pie.

I had someone send me pie once before.

I have absolutely no idea what to do with pie.  The last time, I expect it expired.  Is there some way I can send this pie to a charity?

Gordon Haverland wrote:
Il agree that compensation is possible.  It need not be active.   My brain adapted to what I experienced for many years (up till I was 40 years old), but how I adapted without any guidance was not very useful.

The thing I dislike the most, it that my engineering associations came up with diversity policies  which did not include autism.  And on writing to them, there  was no response.

Nicole Alderman wrote: You can also give two thumbs-ups on post.

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:My terminology was vague. When I said "suffer" from social awkwardness etc...I didn't mean they simply have it, I meant they are actually suffering from the effects of it.
...
In both cases I eventually figured out they simply couldn't recognize when the people around them were getting upset, in the case of the "sadistic" male manager I came out and said "I can't talk about this right now, I will get emotional" and he immediately apologized and backed off. At that point a light bulb went off in my head and I realized he couldn't read emotion. I told my coworkers about it and then folks didn't hate/resent him anymore.  I doubt if the guy knew he had Aspergers but I have no doubt he suffered from the affects of it.  He always spoke softly and always with a smile on his face, he  had probably suffered from people suddenly "blowing up" at him his entire life and the constant smile was an attempt to avoid those invisible emotional landmines.  Though on the upside he was a nice looking guy and married with a couple of kids so he did pretty well for himself in that regard.

Nicole Alderman wrote:People give pie when they see a post they like or agree with. Someone liked what you wrote, so they gave you pie.

PIE gives you some access to spiffy things, like the PIE forum, which has some free stuff (videos, downloads, discounts at certain places). It also allows you to customize the forums a little bit, like get rid of the wood background. You can also give two thumbs-ups on post. You can get rid of the ads, too. There's more stuff that I can't recall at the moment.

The pie lasts for a month. If you see a post that you like, you can give that person a piece of pie, by clicking the button.

I'll see if I can find the thread that explains PIE better than I can.

Nicole Alderman wrote:Ah-ha! Here's more info about PIE https://permies.com/wiki/pie

Phil Stevens wrote:Gordon, the light intensity thing is exactly what a good friend of mine (who is also aspie) deals with. Her solution is to wear dark glasses, and when she does this it's a lot easier for her to engage people in conversation. I don't know if you'd find it useful. She says some people are put off by her wearing shades but once she explains her situation they tend to be supportive.

Burra Maluca wrote:

Lucrecia Anderson wrote:  

What we tend to suffer from is other people trying to fit us into their boxes, and being educated to think that we're supposed to.

The only person in my life (for the most part) is my Mom, who is 86.  Because we live together.  I year or so ago, she had a car accident, and is having some problems of a memory nature (not cognition).  I've dabbled in the medical literature, but most of my knowledge of cognition and memory is on the computer side of things.

I make too many mistakes in talking to her, but I am not trying to be malicious.  She seems to appreciate this, and I still hope that the last mistake is the end of making mistakes.

I do wonder what is going to happen should she die, and there is nobody to talk to.  Except myself.  But I already talk to myself a lot anyway.  I go to look at the land, and I talk to myself as I observe things I hadn't seen before, or a reobserve things after having spent some time studying the issue I think is at play.

In the summer, I get to complain and yell at deer (white tail and mule), and now in the winter I get the added benefit of getting annoyed at one of the most dangerous animals in the wild, the moose.  Typically a cow moose with a yearling tagging around somewhere.

I thought there must be a joke about why the moose crossed the road, and I am not finding one.

Burra Maluca wrote:
Your terminology was fine.

Which seems to confirm the conclusion I've gradually come to - most of us aspies can cope perfectly well if other people accept us for who we are and stop insisting that we be like them.  Some of the other stuff you talked about applies very much to my new partner.  He didn't have to change, it was me who had to recognise him and his aspieness for what it was.  It was me who had to change my mindset.  And once I did, and had 'unmasked myself', I could see what I used to consider his faults as the virtues they really were, and see how they actually mirrored my own rather closely.  He's still the same guy he always was - loyal, true, honest, faithful, and very, very much not wanting to change any of what other people see as being his faults simply to conform to what they might want.  

What we tend to suffer from is other people trying to fit us into their boxes, and being educated to think that we're supposed to.

Gordon Haverland wrote:
I do wonder what is going to happen should she die, and there is nobody to talk to.  Except myself.  But I already talk to myself a lot anyway.  I go to look at the land, and I talk to myself as I observe things I hadn't seen before, or a reobserve things after having spent some time studying the issue I think is at play.

Gordon Haverland wrote:I occasionally respond to posts on other topics.  It often happens that I think I know more science about something than a previous commenter has, and I respond.  My response is not in general, to say that someone is wrong.  It is to say we have a difference in opinion, which might require further study.

I am not trying to attack people.

S Tonin wrote:t least I have hope for the future of kids like me, since there's so much more information available today, more people are being identified, and it's easier than ever for us to connect and share experiences.