I'm really loving the depth of the conversation that you both bring! Love the analogies relating the conversation back to permaculture at the plant level. Deep bow of gratitude to both Laura and Jennifer for sharing who you are so eloquently and courageously.
I also have found it very valuable to make the distinction between liking vs. getting along. Very important in my view.
I've also found it helpful to think about "slogging", as in slogging through the muck, one step at a time. This is for times that truly suck and that seem like they'll go on forever. I think there's strength in slogging, even some nobility. That doesn't help much, but it does help some: to know that sometimes we just have to slog and that we're not doing anything wrong because we're slogging. And, of course when we're slogging we can forgive ourselves for all kinds of things we do that might not be ideal under non-slogging circumstances. My 3 year old Son went through 3 years of treatment for Leukemia. Was I at my best? Definitely not. There were days I just had to leave work and kind of walk around in a fog. I treated myself to frites and Belgian beer. I got a little heavier than I would like. But, I was slogging, so F it, you know? So, I guess I think that slogging is another set of skills that make us less brittle and more resilient for our community -- and most of our communities need more resilience. I wonder, too, about the ability to just slog even when there doesn't feel like a lot of hope, like for our planet.