Jamie Kennedy

I’m gonna try to clear this up one more time before I give up and melt back into the shadows😏. Here’s the first part of that post that wasn’t included-

Jamie Kennedy wrote:You’re right, there are always those non committal types, but I think with poly, they have a chance to be up front and honest about it.  Sure, some are toxic and not going to hold to agreements, but if both parties are up front, honest and safe...they can do their thing with minimal harm to themselves or others.  

Here’s the post where I tried to clarify my meaning.

Jamie Kennedy wrote:Stacy, I think I should have posted Seth’s statement before mine.

“I think there are people out there who are not necessarily polyamorous, but maybe think they are, but in reality they are just noncommittal type who can no more commit to their poly agreements than they could to a monogamous one.”

I have a 2 year tertiary relationship in addition to my marriage that’s committed and anything but casual.  I’m sorry for the confusion😳

So.  I’m poly..married with a boyfriend (I helped him finish building his house, so I can relate to you, Rob).  I was trying to say I’m uncomfortable with getting physical with someone before I get to know them very well and establish an emotional connection.  I guess I miss worded it, and failed to provide context?

Honestly Francis, the more I think about it, the more I think that opinion might partially be me projecting my emotions about my younger self onto others.   It would be an understatement to say I was a bit “wild” and definitely DID need therapy and spiritual practice.🤷🏼‍♀️

That’s awesome Rob!  I love the mutual aide network poly is able to provide, both materially and emotionally.  

Grey, I love your idea of permaculture polyamory zoning!

Stacy, I think I should have posted Seth’s statement before mine.

“I think there are people out there who are not necessarily polyamorous, but maybe think they are, but in reality they are just noncommittal type who can no more commit to their poly agreements than they could to a monogamous one.”

I have a 2 year tertiary relationship in addition to my marriage that’s committed and anything but casual.  I’m sorry for the confusion😳

I did not intend to offend.  I was just sharing my opinion based on my (limited) experience and perspective.  Like I said, I could be wrong, and probably not EVERYONE that has casual sex without emotional investment has past trauma that influence their actions and attitudes, but in my experience, that’s been the case. And I’m totally ok with finding out I’m wrong and adjusting my opinions accordingly. There are very, very few opinions I’m completely attached to.😏

You’re right, there are always those non committal types, but I think with poly, they have a chance to be up front and honest about it.  Sure, some are toxic and not going to hold to agreements, but if both parties are up front, honest and safe...they can do their thing with minimal harm to themselves or others.  

That’s not my preference-My stomach turns at the thought of sex without emotional connection, trust, and at least a little commitment.  But I can understand why some people prefer that.  Personally (I could be wrong), I think people that have that mindset may be damaged, and should probably get therapy, or find a spiritual practice to help them.  But that’s just like, my opinion, man.

ME TOO.  I thought I found someone that fit those categories and then some a couple of weeks ago, but he ending up ghosting me the day we were suppose to meet.  He seemed too good to be true, and I guess he was🤷🏼‍♀️

It’s been great for me, after the initial learning curve.  It has definitely been a growth catalyst.  It’s helped me communicate better, and analyze the reasons why I feel certain things, and adjust accordingly.  I’m married and have one other partner.  I think the key is for all parties to be supportive and open with each other.

It’s always nice to see another poly person on here!  Good luck with your search!