Christopher Weeks

I give this YouTube channel 10 out of 10 acorns.

I've been following Sean's channel long enough that I can credit a sort of off-hand comment he made as the reason I came to Permies. He's doing all the things and seems to have a really thoughtful approach to all his permaculture endeavors. It's very informative and even though I live somewhere colder and with different soil, the it's easy to port the philosophy.

Timothy Norton wrote:Nails have sheer strength...

I was wondering about why this is and got distracted by an article that makes the shear strength issue sound not too awfully important.

Peter E Johnson wrote:I wish for the motivation to finish all my projects.

Granted! Your discipline is now perfect, but we had to put your brain in a jar to get things that way and now it's harder to rake the leaves, etc.

I wish I was better at selecting presents for people.

I'm re-reading Blackwater by Michael McDowell and reading for the first time David Copperfield by Charles Dickens. Both are excellent!

(I tried reading A Tale of Two Cities in high school and bounced off it. I thought that meant I disliked Dickens but either I was wrong, I grew up, or the two books are very different. I think I'll go back and try it again.)

Brody Ekberg wrote:How do you deal with resentments and having a few things you would like to change in eachother?

I think the short answer is that I suck it up.

For instance, I resent that I do 80% of the housework. I don't meant to suggest that it consumes me -- but sometimes the unfairness of how my wife prioritizes her time, causing me to do an unfair amount of the housework bugs me. But like, what can I do about it? If I ask her do some chore, she's likely to do it. And it's likely to be harmonious enough. But neither is certain. And I've known for 30 years that's how it is. So, sometimes I resent it. But I love her and enjoy other things about her an awful lot, so put on the balance, it's something I live with. And I know there are things I do that she resents as well. And we've also been together long enough that we've seen those fluctuate.

She's writing a book. It takes a lot of time that she "should" be spending on me. Sometimes I resent that or the amount that she wants to discuss her research because it occupies such a large chunk of her brain. But I'm also jazzed by her project and want her to succeed. And when I do find myself resenting it, I can remind myself that it's not forever.

Also, I don't think of divorce as a failure state. If maintaining our marriage wasn't a net positive for both of us, we'd call it and move on. But I get way more out of it than I put in and she seems to feel the same.

Brody Ekberg wrote:So, I guess what I want to know is, how many of you out there are happily married and have been for years? Happy like you dont have resentment , dont silently (or not so silently) think your spouse is crazy, dont have a long list of things you would like to change about them, and really feel like you have harmonious growth as a couple. Do you feel that you and your partner are very compatible (meaning your differences lead to harmonious growth for both) or are you happily married because of how much hard work, tongue biting and compromise you’ve had to put in?

I'm happily married and we're rounding the corner on 27 years. But we do have resentments, we (mostly correctly) identify the ways that we're crazy, we have (maybe not long) lists of things we'd enjoy changing about each other if it were possible, and we have definitely experienced harmonious growth together. I'm not sure if we meet your criteria. We're compatible because we choose to be. Every day. Sometimes it's hard work, but mostly it's a joy.

We choose to be in love. In my experience, it's not a thing that just happens to us and sticks around by itself. It's a thing that we cultivate. We share interests where we can -- even adopting new hobbies to do together. We touch each other and do each other favors. We cook for each other and also together. Even when it's hard to find the time and energy, we make sure not to go too long without having sex, and make sure it's satisfying for both of us. We read aloud and go on road-trips and walks and talk candidly about our own mental health. We usually buy ourselves a joint Christmas present which takes time working together to figure out. We look through seed catalogs and dream about spring-planting. We play and we work. And we worry about money as a team instead of alone. We have occasionally gone to counseling together because getting through rough times was the most important thing.

Do I have some fairy tale idea of what a happy, healthy marriage could look like?

I can't tell for sure. But if you aren't happy, you aren't happy.

Emily Sorensen wrote:If your only beef with spaghetti squashes is the shelf life, the spaghetti squashes I grow in my garden seem to have a shelf life of over eight months.  Probably well over a year -- I still have three on a shelf that I harvested almost exactly a year ago...

Same. I have five or six in a milk-crate under one counter from last year's harvest. Each time I open one, they're fine.

Yeah, proportions are just whatever feels right. It's hard to mess this up too badly. Too much salt is the only risk, and then it's probably only a bid deal with spongy things like mushrooms.

I try to marinate for an hour or more. Three days isn't too long, but there's a point of diminishing returns. Some people vacuum-marinate, but I haven't done that.

Gochujang is a paste of korean chiles and soy and whatever other stuff. These days, I can buy it at any full-service grocer, or you could order it: https://www.amazon.com/s?k=gochujang

The Sichuanese pickles that I purchase are pictured below, but you could also blend pao cai and chile oil for a similar effect.

Also, I neglected to suggest dark sesame oil. It's like lime in that you can mix and match it with anything. Miso is like that too, to amp up the umami.

Great idea! I read the email this morning and played with DEX a little, but didn't think to point others to it. (I'm station MN-CN-44!)

I'm still learning my way around woodchip mulch and also spoiled hay. And I don't really think too much about the dichotomy making the two (mulch and compost) distinct. I planted this year into hay and chips instead of soil. Potatoes like growing on top of the ground, but under hay. Nothing grew well in thick wood chips. But that's OK, it'll break down. And where I pulled the chips away and planted a row of stuff, it grew just fine. Where the chips aren't super-thick, sheep sorrel and one of my grasses seem really happy to fill in all the gaps. I have little piles of chips all around the property, because I've been using them to smother thistle and burdock, just to see how much is needed. It's adding texture and edge to the property and again, it'll break down into humus, given time.