Peoples’ worlds come crashing down all the time. Mine has done on a number of occasions. No one EVER wants to do that again, but you do what you’ve got to do. In the words of Princess Buttercup’s true love Wesley (Princess Bride), “Life IS pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is selling something.” It’s the truth. I figure we’re here to learn how to be all a human being ought to be. One really effective way to learn “humanness” faster is to go through crises. (Like raising children, for example.) I’m genuinely sympathetic to your pain. Most of us are well acquainted with pain, so we truly can commiserate. You just keep putting one foot in front of the other. The goal is worth it, and you WILL make it. You and all those you cherish, so be brave no matter what and whatever you do, don’t give up. When it stops hurting (and it will stop), you will feel better. “That which shall be well IS well.” I’m quoting some medieval saint of the Roman Catholic Church who had a very hard time (lots of illness) but I can’t remember her name just now. Hey, I’m old! LOL At any rate, it’s a very good thing to keep in mind, if you can remember it.
One more thing... if you don’t drink coffee, consider starting. Not sugar... just coffee with caffeine. It’s a very effective anti-depressant for some people. I waited far too many years to discover that. And exercise out-of-doors, and (if you can get it) a good night’s sleep. (Well, okay... three things...)
As to SHTF type events, please remember: Everyone dies, apocalyptic scenario or no, so don’t stress over that too much. I do not believe death is the end, and I believe the ultimate end is absolutely good... for everyone. Some of us will (obviously) have a much, much longer road... make yours as short as possible by learning to love as much as you can.
On less esoteric subjects... garlic... I like to ferment it. This does alter the flavor, but maybe you’ll find you like it. If you don’t cook it, it will even support your microbiome (another big factor in physical and emotional health). The taste will become more mellow to the point that you could eat it whole if you don’t overdo it. Here’s a recipe from Cultures for Health website https://www.culturesforhealth.com/learn/recipe/lacto-fermentation-recipes/lacto-fermented-garlic-cloves/
12-14 heads of garlic
Brine of 1 quart water + 2 Tbsp. sea salt
Herbs such as basil or oregano if desired
Peel garlic as indicated above. Fill a quart jar within 1 inch of the top with the garlic cloves.
Pour brine and herbs over garlic cloves.
Allow to ferment for 3 to 4 weeks before moving to cold storage. The longer these sit in cold storage the more delicious they get!
The link has suggestions for peeling. I do grate mine before using, but it’s a lot easier to do than with fresh. You could also just mash it with a fork... and I leave my jar on the counter. It will continue to ferment... if you want to slow that down, then do refrigerate it.