r ranson wrote:One thing I want to say to people when they say "run the site my way..." is there's a reason why you like it here. Maybe that reason is the way this site is run?
I've never found the polite way to phrase it, so I never get to say it to their face.
One suggestion comes to my mind as a possible phrase to use... I don't know if it would help in the situations you face (probably not), but this is what I have learned after some hard lessons in the school of life so to speak and it works with so-called "normal" people:
I understand how you feel, but I don't agree
That is what I say to my teenagers.
I understand how you feel, this site really can be XYZ at times. However, this is the way we run things here. Sorry I can't do more for you, Sir/ Madam.
- could work in SOME cases?
- I must stress that (as I've also spent quite some time on other social media platforms, too!)
that there definitely are "cases" where nothing will work and there is no polite way to answer.
From what I've seen in Facebook:
Sometimes a poster can be in a personal situation (high stress, eg.) that they are not fully able to communicate to others. Their answers reflect their own state in those cases. These situations may be temporary and as the life situation eases up, the person IS once again able to communicate without any problems.
This is also my personal experience.
I too can go over-the-line and become irrational, when I'm stressed out.
I understand how you feel, but there is nothing I can do about it at this point in time.
- This is what I say to my goats, when they are "in heat" and I'm not going to take them to the buck
It seems to calm them down
It feels better to me, when I can say something
And when I feel better, the goat senses that and she relaxes, too
I think that is the secret recipe in this case
Now to the very, very over-the-line cases... when a person is clearly not normal in that moment (is going through some really serious challenges) and is writing stuff that is basically incomprehensible ( = does not make any sense whatsoever) AND very hurtful ... "Ok" and "Thank you for understanding" are the two phrases that I have come up with that make the other one just, well, basically shut up, which is the only desirable scenario anyway, if he or she is BOTH verbally abusing others AND not making any sense.