John O'Connell

Thanks Angie,
I really enjoyed reading your post. Your depiction of your inner dialogue was very effective. I can't believe you grew up in SLO county. I've called it home many times as a farmer and a fisherman. Still have lots of friends there.

Not to get too sentimental, but everything you shared reiterates a comforting notion represented by what some others have shared as well which maybe only other outliers will pick up on and that is even though we may not be the counterparts of each other's soulmate, we're still cut from a similar cloth and that's a rare find to be appreciated so thank you for deciding to write. Clearly, you've done your fair share of wanderlusting, too, confirming that the inner journey is reflected by the outward one for some -even if it makes a person leave a place as perfect as the central coast! You could've, at least, shared a photo of the back of your head as well, jk. A wild thing's version of a selfie.

I hope your Kentucky land is rooting you down like a healthy tree.
All the best,
     John

Thanks Izzy Bella. I hope you survived valentine's day, ugh. Thank you for reinstilling the idea that maybe posting something so personal online wasn't a mistake. The west is a big place, but, yes, I have found a spot in the Rockies to call home. I really like it here so I'm going to try and stay put. Regardless if we're in the same area, it's great to hear from another traveling farmer. It would be fun to compare notes. Travel safe as well and have a great 2025 season!

Hi V,
Thanks for your kind words and for sharing your pic. You have a nice smile. Congratulations on having a little land of your own. Bainbridge Island is quite a spot, right in the middle of everything, but surrounded by water. I know the area. I worked on a farm in WA a few years back.

I see that you wrote your own post(s) on here as well. I read them. Unfortunately, I'm not looking for someone who has or wants multiple partners. Everyone is entitled to their own preferences. I know my post was pretty long so maybe you didn't see the part where I mentioned that I'm not poly, but thanks for saying "Hi." All the best.

Ugh, the online thing is so weird, but even though we're already friends and texted earlier today, everything you wrote deserves more than a smug, wise-ass response. Thank you for what you shared. It has energy, too. We're all learning at different speeds, on different paths and in a different order, but those still trying without judgment or negativity are the true pathfinders. Keep up the good work, my friend.

Thank you Eve. Stay warm in VT. Wait, how did I know you live in Vermont?

"Like most people, especially those who travel a lot, I've got the semblance of a tribe scattered all over the country who I don't talk to or see enough."

Sorry that I didn't call you, yesterday, haha. Reception is minimal out here in the desert. I'll probably be heading back to New England to get my tiny house in the spring or summer. I'll try to get up to "The Jubilee" for a visit when I do. Who knows, maybe I won't be alone;) Keep growing and sowing, sista from another mista.

Looks like I'm not the only one who needs to howl at the moon once in a while. Thanks for sharing everything you wrote, Diane.

I've been trying to pull off the strong silent type look. The plan was to uncharacteristically bare my soul then walk off into the sunset in a mic drop kind of a moment, but it's not working. My conscience keeps getting the best of me when I read someone else's post and I have to respond. I guess I didn't think this thing through all the way. I'm not very experienced with forums. The unexpected gift is that I'm very thankful other wolves are using it as a platform to bare a little of themselves. The sound travels and I hear you. It helps. I hope it helps others. There's plenty of hours in the day and miles on the road to be strong and silent.

Five houses all in a row on a suburban street have 5 lawn mowers in their garages. None of them are being used right now, but everyone still needs their own. Is this progress and the purpose of an advanced civilization? I admire you for taking the bull by the horns and creating your off the grid haven even if there are moments when you're confronted with something that you can't do alone. I know the feeling and I hate asking for help. Sometimes I think because I'm good at figuring out how to get something done by myself it keeps me in this confinement. If I couldn't do it, I'd have no choice. It's uncomfortable, but I'm forcing myself to visit more communities (and write sappy confessions in online forums).

I wish you didn't have to do it all alone. We're not wired to live these solitary lives that often feel like silent solitary battles. Is it our own stubbornness or pride keeping us living them or the dream of holding out for perfect. I know perfect doesn't exist, but I guess I believe a perfect match can even with all our faults and imperfections. In the meantime, I'm busy working, growing and learning to be the best person I can be in case at the right time at the right place lightening strikes. Luck is when opportunity meets preparation. It's good to know that there are others doing the same. I like your levity regarding the matter, but I won't make it to 80. Appreciate the offer though. Keep on keeping on.

I'm glad. Have fun at Merlfest and the cob course.

Thanks Kate. Wow, that's a great one. Love it. I see your song about wolves and I raise you a song about the ocean. "Leave It By the Sea" by William Prince, a Canadian Native American singer-songwriter.

Hello Deborah,

I enjoyed reading your post. It was well-written and insightful.

Yes, it takes a village. We all have undeniable needs in addition to food, water and shelter. I believe community is one of these needs as well as healthy forms of male and female energy. A guy needs guy friends and he, also, needs what only a woman can provide, but if he hasn't found the right woman, he still needs other non-romantic versions of female energy that a tribe or community provides. This is probably why I spend so much time outdoors. Mother Nature is another healthy form of this energy. I believe the same is true for a woman if she hasn't found the right man. When an individual is receiving these basic social needs, there is much less emphasis on the urgency to find a romantic partner which allows it to happen more naturally when it does. Love is not a game of musical chairs. Everyone stand up.

As stubbornly idealistic as I am, words like "perfect" and "utopia" are just ideas to me and ideas are only 25% (if not, less) of actually creating something. Lots of people have ideas. The internet is a virtual world based on them, but then comes reality, resources and action. This is the other 75%. All that aside, I still commend you on your vision. Family, biological or not, is what it's all about.  

I've been to the Farm a couple times and it's impressive what they've done and how long they've been around. Just to be upfront, my relationship with something greater than myself is very important to me and I maintain it daily, but I'm not a religious person.

Thank you, again, for your inspiring post. I wish you all the best on your journey as well.

If you'd like to talk more about the kind of community that you'd like to create, I'd be interested in hearing what type of work you've done towards this goal. Maybe we could exchange email addresses. I finished up the season on a farm in Maine and I'm presently heading southwest. My general destination is New Mexico, but I'm not in any hurry. I'll most likely be rolling through Kentucky/Tennessee tomorrow.

Happy New Year to you, too.

That's nice to know, Meggan, but, at least, you're smart enough to not post your journal pages online for the whole world to see, haha (I wish the whole world were permies). I'd like to believe there is someone out there for everyone. Maybe the best way to find my way into the right woman's heart was to first find my way out of my own. All the best to everyone in 2025.