When I was quite young, I made a serious misstep, in who I married. I believe that a big part of why that happened, was that I didn't know a lot of women, because my ability to meet them was limited. I have always worked in completely male-dominated work environments and I've never been a consumer of alcohol.
So I wasn't going to meet women at work and it wasn't going to meet them at the bar. Many fellows in my position might meet them at church. That happened with me, but I've been an Atheist since I was 8 years old. This made interactions with these girls difficult. The woman I eventually married, was a member of my parents church. We both decided that the religion wasn't that important, but for very different reasons. It wasn't important to me, because I saw it as a remnant of a more primitive time in our history, that would fade away in time. If I look at what's happened with the country of Ireland since the time when I got married, this certainly seems to be the case. But it didn't happen within my relationship. My ex-wife believed that I would eventually see the light. I stayed the same, but she got deeper into it and eventually very resentful of my unwillingness to budge. It really deteriorated quickly, when my oldest daughter made it clear that she hadn't bought into any of her mother's beliefs. Now both daughters are grown and well-educated. Both are atheists, and this isn't something I had to do. To me it's a natural progression. It has caused nothing but strife between them and their mother. I see the girls several times a week. They have to be prodded into seeing their mother sometimes. So, I believe that it is very important for young guys to have the opportunity to meet a wide variety of women, so that they can become more evenly matched than I was.
I haven't had that inability to meet women, since my divorce which was over 20 years ago. Now, I bump into women every day, and there are many electronic tools to help a fellow out.
These changes in the dating scene, have certainly made it easier for people to connect. But I think in most situations, the man is still expected to make first contact, and to not fall flat on his face in the process. He needs to have some game. A big part of that, would seem to be choosing suitable candidates. That's part of why I think real estate is so important. If you really like drinking, look for a girl at a bar. If you're really into religion, try the church. But the main thing is, cast a wide net. This doesn't mean that you have to marry all of these women or bang them all. Just take the simple steps required to meet them. If you meet one or a hundred of them who are somehow put off by your attempts, that is water under the bridge. There will be many more who are either open to getting to know you or who will simply take it as flattery and then tell you they have a boyfriend. In fact, it doesn't even usually come to that. I have experienced some of the softest rejections imaginable. Women who are all smiles and quite chatty, even after they have revealed their status. A few have even said that they wish they were single right now! One told me that she's going to let her husband know that she's still got it. So, I think the number one thing is to get over fear of rejection. I haven't experienced a really negative rejection in years. In fact it's almost always me doing the rejecting, but in such a subtle way, that the lady doesn't know that it has happened. Most women that you meet, will not be right for you, for a litany of reasons. I don't go into these things expecting to produce a marriage proposal right away. So, most times the person you meet won't be mr. or mrs. right. I have found myself chatting with women who are in the middle of a messy divorce, with others who are moving back to California in a month and with some who appear to have mud between their ears. But that doesn't mean that we can't have a chat, which could lead to something. If you find you've met one who is absolutely unsuitable, it's pretty easy to have a pleasant chat and just don't bring up the idea of going on a date or anything of the sort. They may think that you've dropped the ball and have no game, when in fact you have wisely chosen not to pursue someone unsuitable. I think it's important for young men to learn how to cast a wide net, but to also be careful not to bruise the ones that he throws back.