Suburban Privacy Fedge, Pacific Northwest

I'm planting a privacy fedge soon. I'm looking for species of trees that, when combined, will form a hedge/fedge with the following characteristics:

For Zone 8:
Evergreen to provide year round screening
6-8 feet tall
Thick and Narrow... either through weaving techniques or naturally. This is going along a low decorative wood beam / chain link fence.
Attractive to HOA Neighbors
Productive with any kind of fruits, leaves or medicinally
Appealing to senses... fragrant and flowery
Non-thorny for pain free pruning

Additionally, the quicker this thing comes to function as a screen the faster I can begin to tear up the lawn without hurting anyone's refined suburban sensibilities.

Would love to hear any advice!

Dave

Howdy Dave, welcome to permies! I am going to bump your question back to the top in hopes of getting an answer.

Bamboo is everything except fragrant and flowery. Just go with a clumping variety. I am in Portland and have 2 stands that have been here for quite some time and are great.