Stacy Witscher wrote:Heather - It's not how I feel about it either, that was just my kids perspective. Particularly because the land wouldn't be his/hers, as in ownership. My daughter has had similar problems with boyfriends. They just don't like walking into a situation that's already established. They want everything to be ours, not yours. The property belongs to my family, myself and my kids. Partners will never have ownership. Apparently for a lot of people that is a problem.
Heather Staas wrote:No opportunity for ownership would be a problem for me. I'd be looking for some sort of mutual compromise or moving into a shared ownership relationship. It's "fine" in the beginning while getting to know someone. But long term? Nope, ownership would matter to me. I am sure, maybe especially here on permies? that "ownership" is an ideal folks have moved away from. Maybe someday I'd be able to appreciate and be comfortable with it, but I doubt it. It just matters to me. I've considered long term "land lease" type situations and while I see the benefits, it's not for me. I want ownership not just of property but of decisions and changes as well. I want the freedom that comes with not being beholden to someone else's good will and for me that is some ownership investment. I've dated here and there over the last two decades since my divorce; all too often once that first crush wears off I find I'm expected to drop my life and be inserted like some sort of weird puzzle piece into his life. I'm not about that. I don't expect that from another either. I'd want to see a future of consolidating situations, or combining resources to start fresh. And I'm up front about it. I don't need rescuing or being taken care of, and I don't want a partner that needs that either. If the right person comes along and our ideas and goals align, wonderful!
Stacy Witscher wrote:Personally, I think the best way to never get divorced is to never get married. Getting married to my husband was my single biggest mistake. I've had a lot of bad things happen to me, but those things weren't choices. He really never wanted to be married or have kids and I don't think that he thought that was an option. It's sad really because his ignorance hurt a lot of people.
I would like a partner. I've never had a partner. But it's seems unlikely because I just won't put up with bullshit and there's a lot of that around.
Leo Paska wrote:Hello Anthony Friot - I would love to get that Cinva Ram/Brick press from you - I live in northern VA near washington DC; any idea if we could make that happen
Thanks!
Leo Paska
John F Dean wrote:I tend to use Open Office by Apache.