I'm really bad at asking for help, but I've been out of a job for almost two months now and I'm getting desperate.
By sheer force of will, I have cranked my spending habits down to Bills+Absolute Necessities, to the tune of roughly $1400 a month. A good $1220 are housing, car, insurance. Groceries are $160- AFTER splitting the bills three ways with the roomies. We're cheapskates, cook instead of buying prepared food as much as we can, and we're constantly short.
This was not the plan. The plan was to save up a year's worth of bills and leave this dreadful city behind with enough cushion to weather the lifestyle change between "hourly wage manufacturing line worker" and "subsistence farmer with a part-time remote job and, like, ALL of the livestock."
But some financial burdens ate up the reserves, a car was totalled and a new payment added itself to the necessities, and just as we were starting to get afloat, HR came to me and said, "One of the supervisors said you were sleeping on the job."
My standing job.
So in spite of it not being likely, I couldn't prove that I wasn't doing as the supervisor said and was escorted out that day. Apparently I just have one of those faces when I'm bored out of my mind. I was still getting my work done, and doing it well (my perfectionism would accept no less), but apparently looking asleep while doing so. I don't know what else I could have done.
The thing is, this isn't the first time this has happened. I haven't been able to prove that I'm not sleeping on the job before, and I don't want to be in the position of having to defend that point again. I would rather my work speak for itself. I would rather not have to point at it and say, "Look! Proof that I was awake!" I would rather not have to present my face for judgement.
I'm hoping to find remote work. I have some creative skill in writing, drawing, and sculpture. One of my more successful jobs was in data entry, and editing for spelling or grammar is second nature to me (although most editing gigs won't accept me because I don't have professional experience). I'm really not sure what to DO with these skills. I've got lots of ideas but no workable direction, at least not one that I'm certain will help me pay the bills. I don't mind working hard as long as there's even modest certainty of payout. Without that certainty, though, I keep freaking out and trying to go in several directions at once, ultimately getting nowhere.
I could really use some advice from y'all who have things relatively together and are mostly living my dream. (Everyone else keeps giving me advice for getting onto and climbing the corporate ladder, racking up more debt in the process.)