K Cee

Lisa, are you asking how I feel about the country of Dominica?  Or the people? I have never been there.   So not sure I can say one way or the other. But at this point, I am taken.  I am involved with a beautiful woman in Brazil. If and when this plannedemic ( yes it is planned, do a search for "Event 201", but don't use google) ever is terminated by the rise up of  enough people through civil disobedience,  and tyrannical government is abolished,  my beautiful  Brazilian girlfriend  will be coming to be with me.  We have a deep connection.  Thank you for your inquiry.  

DeeDee Anderson wrote:Good morning from Napoli, Italy. I hope that your weekend was good. Mine was pretty good with the exception of an argument with an Argentenian woman who has the emotional intelligence of a chimpanzee. That was pretty exhausting but I did a few cool things as well so it was a great weekend.

are you going to share what  you did? 😊  i spent Sunday planting some celery from the store to see if it will regrow roots and new celery (experiment )  also worked on adding more hardware cloth to one of the sides. It was so exhausting i didn't get to put the 3 sides together.  There was more to the process than it would seem. I had to do a couple of steps of taking collected rain water off the tarp and adding it to the garden, plus taking logs off the tarp. That covers the wood.  Plus the stapler jammed.   Then later gotta put all logs back on the tarp after covering it. Not a big job but many little repeated steps to it.   Saw a little baby Robin out of the nest resting on a/c unit. Trying to learn to fly.   Also saw the resident baby bunny who was born in the yard. He is getting bigger.    So hard a full day. I have also started process of adding new 4x4 bed. They are slightly bigger than  4x4, due to how the blocks are made. But i call them 4x4 because of the size of the wood planks.  I still have to dig  the sod out and level the blocks. Possibly with sand.  I will be adding 2 new 4x4 beds that are connected to the 8x8  keyhole bed.  And that will complete that system of garden beds. Then next year, i will start upgrading the first garden i had into 4 2ft x 12ft which will probably be more like 2x14 due to the blocks i will use.  The beauty of the blocks is i dont need to screw anything together, i take the blocks, lay them out like Legos, and place wood planks in their grooves formed in the blocks. And later i can take them apart and reform them if i want. I doubt i will do that unless I move from here.   The blocks are not that cheap, but they make the process simple to haul wood home since i don't have a pickup truck.  I can have shorter planks to haul and i just have to get more blocks.  

Please tell me more about yourself.  Your family, your growing up years. Do you have brothers, sisters?  Do you get along with them?

DeeDee Anderson wrote:Thanks for your responses, although incomplete. I apologize for the delayed message but I have had trouble accessing wifi at my new location/hotel. I'm in the countryside 45 minutes from Pisa. It's very beautiful here but I have not had wifi which has been a pain in the arse...not to mention I have been dealing with a very difficult, emotionally immature and high-strung girl who has been testing my patience since I arrived, making everything so complicated. And then I was able to go into town and get a new sim card and I read your messages. I enjoy learning about you and I see where we have common ideas and interests but I also notice where we have differences. Or maybe I'm just not in the right head space right now because of an argument that happened earlier between the young girl and I. I normally say nothing and just suffer in silence but I am pretty proud of myself for sticking up for myself earlier with her but it just reinforces that I am pretty sure I do not want negative energy or drama in my life. I cannot function well with high-strung, entitled, self-centered people like her. I am always willing to bend and be flexible for others but am no longer willing to invest too much in others who can't reciprocate. Time is an invaluable commodity. Where I decide to spend it is precious to me. I hope you are well.

To get to know me, i would have to share with you my environment, and all that has influenced my view of the world the most.  I admit, i gave a very limited scope. But tried to give you ideas about who i am in concepts of my actions. When i am sharing more complex concepts, i try to find videos that cover those general ideas.  I did this in my massage practice to help people understand my unusual approach to manual physical therapy.    The other way to learn about me is to share touch.  

On the subject of the girl, It does sound very frustrating, indeed. However,  she is there to be a lesson for you. Dont ask me what that lesson is, you gotta figure it out. Might take awhile.  You need to learn something about yourself, obviously, and it may not be what you think you need to learn. Just food for thought.  Remember what i said about negativity? 😕 i will keep it light for tonight, let you chill and get back to me when you can.

Ok, I was typing out a detailed message about common characteristics of my personality,  but something happened and lost EVERYTHING 😠😩  

I am super complex and dynamic in my personality, pretty much in all areas.  Not sure i can really summarize it, or do a test on it, and have it be accurate or non-subjective.   But as I see myself, I am sometimes am a gentleman, and sometimes i am not lol. If i am being honest. All depends on events and circumstances. I do open doors for people quite often, but i kinda see pulling out chairs for them a bit old fashioned and cheesy. I help people when and where i feel i can do so, and i see someone struggling. That i would say is a constant.  Or ask if they need help.  My sense of humor is varied and changes with my environment, but slapstick physical comedy is a common attribute of mine, or punny/tongue-in-cheek style. I think the word sarcastic is over-used. I like to be more than on time for appointments and meetings and dates if i can help it. I would say that as long as i can leave the house by a certain time,  and no other problems in between, well lets say i got an award for being on time to class if not super early, about 98-99% of the time. The other reasons were snow and unexpected delays in traffic.  So i have a good track record in being timely. As messy as I may be, i like to be prepared, maybe to a point of over-kill at times.  I hate humid hot weather and i hate super cold snowy weather. You will eventually learn why.  I rather let it melt than to get my "space suit on" to shovel.  But at times i will go and shovel just to get some physical exercise.    I like weather that is 60's and 70's, i dont mind foggy grey days or some rainy days (good for garden).  Taking stuff out to my compost is very zen-like, for me.  It sounds like you and I have some common interests, values and goals and may get along very well. And potentially a symbiotic relationship could grow from this, which is what I am looking for among other things.

DeeDee Anderson wrote:


How do you react to people who are unsettled with your messiness?
How do you handle those situations?

Probably not always the best most logical way,  it really depends on how they react to it. I usually act in the same manner.   A lot of it has to do with their reaction, and where my head is at, at the time.  If I personally am in the middle of something, even day dreaming,  or planning or on here chatting, i really hate to be bothered to be taken away, because I lose my train of thought.  I often pile dishes in sink to be taken care of much later. While others hate this and expect that they be handled to  be put in dish washerimmediately. My priorities conflict with this.   Day dreaming has always been important to me.  I am dreaming up designs for stuff, or other things. Some of my best ideas are conjured up during day dreaming.  A lot of people see this as weird and unproductive, but it is when i am most productive.  I find that if i even leave athe space, even for a couple of moments, I lose my train of thought.  And apparently this is scientifically valid, so I have heard.

DeeDee Anderson wrote:

I'd like to hear more about what your homestead paradise looks like and where would you like it to be located? And what motivated you to do your massage business? I definitely could have helped assist. I am pursuing a degree in business management and administration online. I'm an INTJ personality so it's just something I naturally enjoy doing. I'm not pursuing wealth but basic needs/security. I charge my clients $27/hr. But it's only parttime work for now to help with my travel expenses. If you are ever interested in my services, let me know. ;) I'm basically balancing my time between school, consulting, volunteering and traveling this year. Have you traveled much? Where have you been? Where would you like to go?

While I have my basics down,  of  general concepts, I leave a little wiggle room of how much acreage and location. I would love 10 acres, but open to between 5-10, or maybe more, depending on how much and how beautiful and fitting the space is for me.  Because life changes and it never ends up how you think it will happen. Even if you make plans and stick to it, things always change beyond your control.  So I try to stay somewhat flexible. As a massage therapist,  one learns that one needs flexibility in life.   The type of house I know I want, but shape and layout depends on environment. I know certain features I want but a lot will depend on budget.   Such as the type of floor, which is not hardwood. In fact it is outside the scope most people would even consider for inside their home. But is very low maintenance.   windows that are indestructible, so that maintenance is minimal at best.  Location wise i am still window shopping.  I have learned that redundancies are important. Back up systems of backup systems. So i would have on grid and off grid systems.  Have a regular stove/oven but also have wood burning stove with oven for both heat and cooking when power goes out.  I am not a total off the grid kind of guy. I like or am used to  my modern conveniences, but want to be prepared for when power goes out temporarily or even permanently.  Or for extended period of time.  I gotta be honest, I like a flushing toilet, and not in love with the idea of handling a humanure shit bucket day in and day out, but I do see the value in it, to have that method available when it is needed.   Living with running water is handy to have, but again, will use rain water reservoirs and catchment would be important for both garden and livestock animals and access to water to filter in my Berkey.  

How I became a massage therapist is a complex answer. I have been involved with natural health modalities my entire life.    But i was reaching  around my 10th year in another  career which i will keep for a more private conversation.  But, while i enjoyed certain aspects of it, it was not really providing me with financial stability. And an online friend was telling me she had gone to school for massage therapy. This started getting my gears spinning in my mind, i have always had an ability to feel where people are aching by "intuitive touch" and I had all the stereotypical ideals of doing massage therapy and making a lot of money (totally not the case by the way)  but it seemed up my alley,  in a number of different ways.  I was actually very good at it.  After gaining experience, but other factors got in the way. Again, something to share in private.   Very complex subject.  But learning all of what it takes  to be a massage therapist, opens your mind up to a lot of other things. And knowledge poisons the well, so to speak. As in once you learn something, you can never unlearn it, it sticks with you for life. You see things other people don't see or even consider, even doctors.

I don't really follow the Myers-Briggs test, as it isn't very scientifically valid.  I sort if see it as a fancy horoscope.  Plus i just dont fit into categories  very well. Never have, never will.  Far too much complexity in who i am.  I am ambidextrous, ambivert lol and a complex of many other factors. Oh wait till I tell you my hypothesis  on being ambidextrous  and the myth of being left handed /brained or right handed/brain. It will frack your brain, scramble your noodle.   You won't believe it, but i do have some scientific evidence to back me up.   Also the myth of  "multi-tasking".  Which being in your line of work, you probably believe you can multi-task.  

DeeDee Anderson wrote:

Everyone is just looking for belonging/understanding. Im looking for my tribe too but Im still refining my interests but I prefer being with very few emotionally intelligent people who work great together as a small eco- egalitarian community. I sold/donated everything and am hoping to do a work-exchange with either one or a select few of others building something out of love, which means no one is oppressed, I'm allowed to be myself, and can learn/teach to evolve as a person: body, mind, spirit. I think self-defense/self preservation is the only justifiable reason to harm another living thing. I like systems and order but not while oppressing/separating others. I believe strongly in striving for internal peace/joy and helping others to reach it also. Most of all I'm just tired of being afraid and EXHAUSTED with trying to wear an armoured mask all of the damn time. The only person in my life that I can truly be vulnerable with is my son who is 18 and is my everything. I would love for him to live off grid with me but I understand he is just beginning his life and he has his own ambitions. But I'd like to find a place/people to call home where he can join me at anytime he is ready. I'm very simple. I dont need much. I think money is a prison. I think capitalism is a prison. Gender roles are a prison. I just want to live free, find my happiness, and live in love. It sounds like cliche hippie shit lol but that's what I am looking for. I've got a lot of scars and issues myself but I'm doing the work to heal and always open to learning to be better. I'm humble enough to know that I need guidance from others and cant do it by myself...as stubborn as I am sometimes. A lot of people think I'm "crazy" but I accept that I just dont fit in the ways people are accustomed to and I dont want to anymore. So, yeah, i am looking for my tribe too. :) What does your family think about your ambitions?

You kind of ignored/or didnt see my question about your personality type. It may sound like a silly request but I'd really like to learn where you fall on Carl Jung's spectrum. Emotional intelligence is becoming a more popular study and I think may play a key role in the next steps of social evolution.

It sounds like we have a lot of similar values and needs. We might just do pretty decent together. Whether as platonic friends or more intimate.  As i said above, I am skeptical of personality tests.  I am constantly evolving at ever increasing rate of speed,  as most people change at varying degrees. I think if you take those tests, you limit how you see yourself, and also if you take the test one time, save the results word for word, and then you take that same test weeks, months or even a year later, you may see that you have different results. Glorified horoscope that is quite vague, in my personal opinion.

I want to ask you how you  feel about intimacy, touch, your views on marriage and relationships. But maybe this is better handled privately. And maybe even better as an in-person conversation. I have never been married, much less in a long term relationship, so i am kind of green in that dept.  Have only dated a little bit, due to my personal circumstances and lifestyle choices.  Hard to find someone local that has similar values and interests.

DeeDee Anderson wrote:

Is that your official disclaimer? Lol Dude! If that's it, then I think you're ok. You sound like every man created, ever! Lol A lot of men seem to function that same way, in my experience...from my father, to my ex husband, to my son. And your hypothetical question is pretty easy for me to answer, because I have handled them all the same...horribly. lmao Most of my life I have communicated very poorly and so now I am really doing a lot of grunt work on improving my communication, with therapy, reading, courses and practice. In the past, in those types of situations, I would find myself holding it all in, with the exception of some passive aggressiveness, and just cleaning it all up until I say "this is enough" and giving an ultimatum. This is no longer how i want to communicate because 1. It doesnt work. 2. It makes me stressed and mentally depressed and just sick. And 3. There are so much better effective ways at having a relationship and working together. Honestly, i am unsettled with untidiness and disorganization because a messy environment affects me mentally. If my environment is organized, my thoughts are also organized and I'm more productive. If its disorganized I feel overwhelmed and if its dirty I feel depressed. Temporary messes are fine. Even I do that. For example, I hate laundry. Sometimes I will do laundry and keep clean clothes in a nice pile and just pull from that pile that week if I dont feel like hanging everything. Lol organized chaos is ok if I understand the system to it. But dirty, yeah, filth I cant do. But I am in the process of handling myself and situations better which is one of the reasons why I'm not in a relationship or seeking a relationship but only friendships for right now. But that is a great hypothetical question! :) As far as companionship goes, though, I am realizing that people of certain personality types tend to work better together than others because they compliment each other. The men in my life have all had a messiness to them, though, so it's not a red flag or turn off for me. I'm often the person cooking dinner and also cleaning up right after. I'm ok doing it as long as it's not expected or I'm unappreciated or disrespected. I'm just trying to learn how to better communicate myself when it gets overwhelming and to hopefully work with someone who will also consider me and that my personality type is not ok with untidiness all of the time and is willing to also make the effort to make me comfortable too because it's an equal partnership and my feelings matter.

I wont give you my disclaimer just yet or even on a public forum but trust me, I'm hard to deal with also. Lol Being messy is a cake walk in my world. Lol  whether or not we can become best friends or not...possibly work together, commune together, or whatever is left to be said....but I am enjoying our chats so far so that's cool. :)

No that is maybe more partial disclaimer. Probably  not my most endearing characteristics, but  I am holding my more private information  for private conversation.  

While I don't love to do laundry, sometimes I don't mind doing it, but i do tend to get side-tracked from it. And yes, sometimes leave it in the basket like i am doing now. Lol But my approach is probably  kinda guy typical. Whites, socks and underwear, and then a load of whatever i can shove in the washer after that. Lol. On the flip side, I am willing to fix meals. I am no chef, but I make a few decent meals and every once in awhile I like to bake. I would probably do more if I had my own place set up the way that suits my needs.  I am going to be setting up twin rocket stoves made from cement blocks in the back yard  for a little off the grid cooking.   I really want to get into freeze-drying but can't afford the machine yet.  So many things to work on before i can get to my homestead.  

I probably could have used your skills and services  as a personal assistant  when I was doing massage. It is hard to wear all the hats in a business. But i probably couldn't afford to pay you either.  Is a rough business when you are a guy. Reverse gender discrimination.  I did ok for awhile but fell behind. And then shit hit the fan. Long story I will share at a later date.   That is the past and I need to focus on future. Which unfortunately I don't believe we have much of left as a species.  I just want to find my place to be happy.  That is my homestead.  But not just to have land, but be able to be myself, be creative without limits. Feed myself and others.   I  would like to have my tribe of people. Share the land. Even if we all have our own shelters.  I have my dream place in mind, but also practical places in mind.  

Our environment defines us, so that is why i want to find the homestead that fits my needs, to become whole.  

DeeDee Anderson wrote:Honestly, in an apocalyptic situation, I would probably die horribly...not because I couldn't survive on my own with very little, (I think I could learn to thrive on my own), but because some random person would happen upon me and I would be so damn naive that I would invite them in out of love and kindness and then they would murder me in my sleep and take all of my shit. LOL! I am just not so good with people. Maybe I'm exaggerating. LOL My resume? Hmmm, I don't have much experience in anything other than helping others, either by customer service, or being a secretary or assistant. When I was younger I actually wanted to be a missionary, God's faithful servant and just bring people to him, but I since left organized religion and am just trying to save myself...in the sense of putting the oxygen mask on first before saving anyone else. Anyway, I have a resume full of office administrative work that would do absolutely nothing for me off grid. The only thing really going for me is that I am intuitive, systematic, organized, resourceful and have enough sense to figure shit out naturally or by researching/experimenting on my own. I have experienced some things but they were all introductions/novice experiences really. This is why I am really trying to learn and experience more hands on.

In theory, I think that in the event of an involuntary grid down, I would escape from all people, less those in my small circle, because people seem to be the most dangerous and hazardous lol...I would first establish safety for myself, somewhere in dense forest but close enough to a coastline, by building something small but functional and strong to protect me; build tools to use; source food/water, start a garden; and then a security system/contingency plan in case of emergency. I want to learn how to use solar/wind/water powered systems to sustain; I have a growing list of alkaline foods/herbs that I wish to grow and eat. I have a growing list of tiny house constructions that I am considering. I've never been fortunate enough to take scouts or do a lot of camping. Honestly, bugs and critters freak me out. But I see the importance in those skills and want to learn. I've watched my father build/fix things most of my life. Everything he learned by trial/error. He never directly educated me on those things, because I don't think he even knew the proper terms himself and was too "traditional" to teach his girls these things, but I watched him and I admire him for being resourceful and self-motivated. My step-father is less sophisticated but he is just as resourceful. I think I'm just as intuitive, but I do like to research/educate myself on common knowledge and terms also. I don't hold the establishment of education in the highest esteem but I do respect the time and research that people have done over history to realize methods and systems that were more successful than others. I don't approve of the establishment exploiting people's findings in order to make a profit, but I still value the information.

I agree that everything is a valuable lesson, both the good and the bad. I look at life this way too. I've become more cynical because of my life experiences and people tell me I have a lot of "baggage". I really despise this saying. I think this saying is cliche and not well thought out because each and everything you learn, makes you who you are and choose to be, and you carry it with you always. What's NOT good, is carrying unresolved issues or not learning from the challenges and to keep repeating the same mistakes. But every experience, in my opinion, affects a person and how they connect with others, whether its with work experience, family, friends, relationships, or whatever.

Anyway, how are you today? Me? Today is my last day with my winemaker in Pisa. Tomorrow morning I catch a train to Naples. So from 9am-9pm I will be hopping on/off trains. My travel days are really my least favored thing about backpacking. I prefer getting to and settled in my new location and getting acclimated to the new area. I put a lot of planning into my travel days to make sure I am going to the right place, catching the right trains, giving myself enough time, carrying a 50 lb backpack on my back and pulling a 60 lb roll bag in tow. It's a great workout! lol But wifi is limited and I don't speak fluent Italian so I have to be well prepared for anything. These are the days my anxiety is at its worse. But what can I say, it's all a learning experience, like I said before.

Question: do you know your personality type? www.humanmetrics.com/personality

While there are no right or wrong answers to a hypothetical question that isn't very hypothetical anymore, except the difference of what gets you killed and what keeps you alive, I would say many people would have same plan as you, theoretically.  So you may have a lot of competition for space and resources.  By no means am I the wilderness survival expert, so do not listen to me on that subject. Lol  it is still an area I am learning in myself.  I am just trying to get a sense of how you view your own ability to adapt to very frustrating  and hard circumstances.  If we were to become close companions, whether or not we see an apocalyptic event, I  have a lot of personal challenges I see often, and at times my sanity and ability to adapt  are challenged, maybe not quite that extreme, but still quite challenging.   Whomever wants to be with me long term will have to be very strong,  not just physically,  but mentally/emotionally adaptive and flexible.  But it comes with perks as I can be a loving, caring, affectionate, passionate man.  I don't pick my circle of true friends lightly.  I can be more than a handful, at times.  

Another hypothetical situation. Completely different scenario.  Say we are living together.   I will be up front and say that one of my top priorities is NOT to immediately clean up things after eating, or other activities. I prefer to relax or go do something active but relaxing. Sometimes i just prefer to go be quiet and "meditate" aka get lost in daydreaming.  In fact I kind of hate cleaning or tidying (there are some maybe autistic-ish caveats to this (no I am not autistic, but may carry some minor characteristics ). It doesn't mean that I don't clean or tidy up,  sometimes I do of my own accord and perhaps have nothing else to do or see that my mess may be building up even too much for my own liking (that paradox of who I am)  but it is not a priority,  and sometimes I purposely leave stuff out till later for a specific reason. (Just how my mind works)  I call it organized chaos.    How do you react? Do you leave it be till later allowing me to handle my own mess with no frustration on your part? Do you get annoyed but leave it be, let the frustration linger and build up till you explode at me later in a passive aggressive manner? And perhaps leave me? Do you passive aggressively get annoyed and yet decide to take it upon yourself to clean up the mess, talking under your breath or complaining out loud that i am a slob? Or pick describe your own reaction.    Be honest with me and yourself, even if you think I won't like the answer.  I may not like it, but I would respect you more, by being completely honest answering a very complex question and conflict.  My other factor is that I lay things out to see them so it will remind me later. If it is out of sight, it is out of mind.   I will admit, it can get unsightly at times.  That's usually when i get fed up with it myself and start to reorganize in my own way.  

DeeDee Anderson wrote:You're my kind of people. :)

and how
About yourself?  What would you put on a resume?  How would you take care of yourself in a forced grid-down scenario? How would you attempt to survive and thrive? I dont mean a voluntary off grid environment,  but total apocalyptic grid down event?

DeeDee Anderson wrote:It's OK. You don't have to like wine. I forgive you. :)  I don't drink much either...its just a guilty pleasure I like to indulge in from time to time. My host winemaker speaks little English so I am learning more visually than anything...I've done hours of pruning and helped bottle batches of white wine. That's really about it, so far, but it has been a cool learning experience nonetheless. I'm always interested in learning something new and exercising my brain...now its time to start exercising my body more too. I'm not as healthy as I should be but I've been working hard on that recently. The last year I've been transitioning to whole-food, plant-based eating and being more active. So I am a total newbie but I'm motivated and excited to learn and make new friends along the way. If you had to write a resume about your experience in farming/permaculture, what would you list? What would be your absolute dire list of skills needed in order to survive "off grid"?

I am honestly done with writing resumes. I have mostly been self employed contractor for most of my teenage and adult years.  I have had to share with clients my experience and education in the past. But I now have a different way of looking at the world.  But I would list my 4-H , my experience with fostering dogs , ducks, wild rabbits as well as domestic, basically my animal husbandry experience. But all life experiences give you experience on some level.  I have tried many seemingly different  areas of interest have had commonalities that I borrowed from in the next thing I have focused on. I did a bit of gardening in my childhood and spent time down by the creek and in the woods, i have a bit of knowledge in herbs, but am not an herbalist by any means.  I know the human body quite well (have forgotten more about the body than most will ever learn about it) by forgotten, I mean that newer info has replaced old info in my Random Access Memory, but still aware of the info on a deeper wholistic level.   Just takes a bit more effort to recall info like names of certain anatomical structures, even if i see them in my mind.   Anyway, went off topic there,  all life experiences contribute  to our wisdom and knowledge.  Even building with legos as a kid gives me workable experience in certain ways that I am now applying in building my compost bin and other projects I have worked on as well as have planned for future projects.  Everything is integral in life.  Even your "negative" experiences. I keep hearing that women want to always be positive, but negative events can create positive outcomes and cause you to act and make something happen. So negative is not always a bad thing. Never throw it away and ignore it. It is likely to linger until you listen to it and deal with it.  Anyway that is my soapbox speech. ✌😎

DeeDee Anderson wrote:I absolutely understand and respect your decision to take your time. Putting my email address on a public forum was a bit forward...at least for me. I'm all for chatting longer before taking things off of the site. When the time comes, we can video chat or call. :) I'm a bit shy, and really dont talk/video much but since I've been backpacking the last 2 months, it's gotten a bit lonely and some days I long for a little face-to-face conversation.

HELLO there!  😊 good to put a face with the words.

Unfortunately, that is one of the most vulnerable type of apps along with texting, is apps like hangouts.   But if you would like to follow me on twitter @HEAP_1  we can chat live via direct messaging and do a video clip that way.      

So what have you found to learn in wine making?   I am not really a fan of wine personally.  I really don't drink alcohol. Personal choice.  I rather drink straight grape juice. 😋    or eat the grapes.