Thank you Topher and Allen. Every bit of advice is greatly appreciated. You are both telling me what I knew to be true but kept thinking I must be doing the math wrong. That 12Kw water heater is a killer. Got it. I went back to the drawing board again and found the Reliance 6 6 SOMS K 6 Gallon Compact Electric Water Heater which uses 1650 watts on 110v for 14 amps. That sounds a lot better! I was bothered by a tank system that would constantly draw energy to maintain the temp for maybe 30 minutes total use time per day, but then I saw a review by some genius who installed it on a switch and would just let it preheat for 15 mins or so before using it and then shut it off after. Perfect!
So now I need to figure the panels and batteries to power the 12 v, 5 amp pump for about 45 mins/day and the 1650 watt heater for about 30 mins/day. I do intend to run a red neck solar water heater using coiled black hose in the loop, but I want to calculate my needs based on worst case scenario where the weather (zone 6) doesn't support the direct solar water. For extended cloudy periods I will also be able to use the generator to charge the batteries if necessary.
I know propane very well. I have lived in a conventional on-grid house for 30 years with propane for heat, water and stove. After the price per gallon tripled last winter, I can tell you that propane may end up being a necessary evil if I can't find another way, but it is no friend of mine.
As far as sizing the entire solar needs, I am focusing on supplying the mechanicals first and will add the small amount needed for personal luxuries after that. We don't use a microwave, hair dryer, or drip coffee maker. We very rarely even have lights on in the house. We do have the tv on for 2-3 hours in the evenings. Our tv right now uses 170 watts/hr and uses an old school antenna (so no energy for a satellite). We also run 2 pc's, 2 monitors, and an internet modem 24/7 right now. BUT that's on-grid convenience. That usage and probably some of the components will be much improved on when we're actually off-grid. Until we get moved and see what is actually available, I don't even know if we'll be able to get digital signals for a tv antenna or what kind of internet we'll end up with (maybe none for awhile). We'll be cooking on a rocket stove and charcoal grill outdoors while the weather holds and a wood stove indoors during the winter (which is also our heat source). I also have a two burner propane (ugh!) camp stove that I can use if necessary (mostly when I'm canning). We already use battery clocks and alarm clocks, a manual clothes agitator and clothes line, and an old fashioned percolator for coffee and hot water for tea. My granny flip cell phone only needs charged about once a week and I have adapters to charge it and my Kindle in the car while I'm driving.
I'll be the first to admit I REALLY don't know it all (or even a little bit!), but I'm also not totally unprepared for the transition. I just really get hung up on the calculations relating solar energy generated and stored to projected usage.
Thanks again,
Sherry