Ed Hoffman

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since Mar 02, 2015
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Recent posts by Ed Hoffman

Dale, when I was on Bohol I visited and toured what they said was the oldest church in the Philippines. They claimed it was over 400yrs old and was built by the Spaniards, which was a lie because the indigenous people built it. But what they said was the Spaniards came in and took over insisting they needed to convert the people to the worship of Christ and kinda enslaved the people. Well they built this church out of a sort of cob, and made everyone on the island bring one chicken egg every day which was used as one of the primary binding ingredients in this mixture. The church is still standing and is quite amazing to see. I wonder, you not having even a single drop of religious blood in your veins, did you get the opportunity to go see it when you were on Bohol. When I was there a tour guide that took me through it actually spotted a small piece about the size of a quarter that had fallin off an inner wall and picked it up and gave it to me as a souvenir. I still have it in a little plastic ring box on a shelf in my family room, I just checked. It still has the green algae on it, that was growing inside the church. So if that church could last 400 years made out of a type of lime calcium mixture, why couldn't you do that with cobb. Of course you might havta buy a fuckin whole lotta eggs to do it.
1 month ago
I've been to Bohol and the Chocolate Hills and Pangtow island. Rode the Ocean Jet there from Cebu. It's Beautiful there.
I was really amazed when I asked one of the locals , How were the Chocolate Hills formed, she answered Well a long long time ago there were to giants who became angry at one another and began to scoop up the soil and throw mud balls at one another and the giant muds balls formed the hills. I said to her, No really how were they formed? She answered Well as I just explaind a long long time ago there were two giants. I said, Okay, Okay I got ya, thank you I understand. She just looked at me kinda perplexed that I didn't understand the first time. It just says a lot about so many of the people there, living in their little world, dreaming, hoping envious and believing just about anything.
I remember meeting a guy from Checeslovakia, who had lived there for many years. He explained it to me, and I quote " The Philippine people have eatin so much shit, for so long that they will now swallow anything "
You be careful Dale.
2 months ago
When my wife came here when she was 23 years old and weighted 92 lbs, I was 46 and about a buck thirty. We got alotta looks. Most guys young and old just loved it, they thought it was great. But I'll tell ya the women were a very different story.
Some actually seemed offended, which was actually bizarre to me. I didn't let it bother me personally, although I did feel a little sorry for them because it just seemed to me they had been ridden hard and put away wet and their best days were behind them. I'm sure you will get some of that in Canada too, I'm also sure it won't bother you either.

Good luck with everything, and don't spend all your money on tools, your gonna need to buy that girl some longjohns.
2 months ago
I've been to Mactan island. What an incredible trip, thanks for sharing, You are truly a lucky bastard.
2 months ago
Dale. You are not gonna take over. Did your potential wife explain to you, the Philippine law that forbids foreigners from buying and owning land or property in the Philippines.
She could own it but you can not, you could pay for it though and it would have to be in her name. It is a smart law because it prevents foreigners from coming in and taking the fuck over!

I think it was written for just you in mind. Big Smile!
In my out spoken honest, but truely worthless opinion: I totally agree with Trace, get the fuck outta there, bring your future wife back with you, and if you feel obligated send a little money to help her mother and sisters get on the road to independence.
It seems you are trying to plow a field with no plow and no horse. If I wasn't so worried about ya, I'd be laughin my fuckin head off.
Now I'm glad you didn't let me go with ya. I'd be sittin at the Shangrila eatin lechin and drinkin mango shakes with a shot of rum in it, just to cope till I could get outta there.
Stay strong Brotha!
3 months ago
Yeah, I think I warned you about all this stuff. Well you are gonna do what you want, thats for sure, but it doesn't seem like you are gonna get any help doin it. If I were there in your situation I'd go to Davao check in to the Waterfront hotel ( The Insular Hotel) it is right on the beach on the Gulf of Davao, fuckin beautiful. When I was there I got a beautiful room with a balcony right above the beach for $55 a night. They have a great open air restaurant, armed guards at the gate.
When you stroll on the beach in the evening with your girl, one of the guards ( Task Force Davao )will stroll along behind you carrying an M-16 making sure that nothing happens to you. Have a good time for a few weeks, then get the Fuck outta there, come home and do the paperwork for your fiancée. Don't buy no land or houses because those people are gonna somehow fuck you out of it. And chock it all up to learning and getting a better understanding that you ain't gonna change them because they don't want to change. So if you love and trust that your girl can live in your country, bring your ass back to Canada where you belong. Why do you think the American military left, they were sick of that crap.

And you don't want to be gettin in any physical altercations with none of the locals. Because you are the outsider, and trust me you'll be the one held accountable, no matter what.

Oh, but hey, have fun brother!

3 months ago
Well, where he is, it may be nearly impossible to get internet service. I've been down on Mindanao and you have to go to internet cafes and wait in line and thats in the big cities. If he is on a smaller island, they may not even have service.
I hope he lets us know he is alright.
4 months ago
Oh Shit, Mindanao! Been there, done that. Abbu Sayaff and the MILF, muslim terrorist affiliated organizations. Very beautiful but dangerous place. Oh yeah, gonna be exciting. It's not a grey world any more brotha, it's gonna be a little different there. If you get in trouble, look up Raoul Crispinni, he owns the Chrisbelle  Hotel in Digos City. He's a good guy and is into about half of everything in Digos . Theres a lot of cochroaches down there both two legged and many legged. And oh man the women, keep your blinders on. You can hire armed bodyguards there for about $5 a day. I've had some scary stuff happen on Mindanao. Sorry about the misspellings. And listen to your girl, she'll let you know when it's time to leave. Send some pictures Man!
4 months ago
Yep, you better keep your blinders on, because all those single Pina's will be waggin their tales at ya.
4 months ago
I think you can get a shot from the Health Department ( thats what it is called here ) that helps or builds up your immunity to stomach and intestinal infections. I've never gotten one but there have been times I sure wished I had.
This is counter productive advise for a Permie, but only drink bottled water from a reliable source. Nothin worse than being sick that far away from home, but Doctors are cheap there. And don't worry too much about them charging you a little more than the locals, because you get to go to the front of the line, it's worth it. Take ear plugs and you may have to wear blinders, and smile a lot and just keep walking. They have a tendency to smile and not do anything. Any medicines that you might need occassionally like headache pills, sleep aid, upsett stomach Definately take with you, you won't find it there easily if at all. And Dale, I totally forgot, take some really good toothpaste, toothbrushes and dental floss. Once they start using it they will love it. Probably more really bad advise for a permie make sure it has lots of flouride, Might keep them out of the Dentist office for fillings. Man, maybe I should just go with ya?

Good luck Brotha.
4 months ago