Hello peoples of the interwebs!
I all but literally have found myself in over my head- the literal part being... well... explain to me why I decided to dig a pond by hand. Please. I really need to understand how this ever made the list of 'good idea at the time'.
There are animals everywhere- FINALLY have my Muscovy population up and running, sheep flock is tiny but lined out to be at capacity by this time next year... and one of my last 'great steps' has finally begun in earnest. One of my final long term goals out here was to eliminate my dependency on vehicles and eventually all things 'fuel powered'. For the last few years I have limited myself to a 10 mile driving radius with up to 6 trips 'to town' for supplies or whatnot... and now the final step- sell the truck and move toward something I can sustain effectively and responsibly here.
I give you... Donkeys.
Until I've got that angle managed- I've elected to keep the motorcycle and build a small trailer for it for trips to the feedstore or what have you... but am going to stick with my 10 mile radius and likely eliminate the trips 'to town'.
Have I mentioned I'm a whack-job in the woods?
What do you do with so much time spent in your own company though? For me? It's all but focused on self-examination and a pursuit of sincerity and consistency in my beliefs. I believe we all drive too much and the compulsive 'need' to own as many vehicles as possible is a detriment to everything from the environment in general to the local economy to our own health(IE lack of exercise). I believe dependency on economy is inherently destructive- both as a self-imposed slavery to those who basically dictate our 'happiness', health and quality of life based on the size of our paychecks... not to mention the negative impacts RE: global commerce... Bottom line? I don't want to be a hypocrite. Don't worry, no tirade forth coming.
But you get the idea.
I can't participate in these things(and so many others) if I find them fundamentally wrong.
So... whack-job in the woods is a pretty accurate description, hah. However, everything that crosses my mind, plants that 'seed' and grows into an idea, a concept a plan and fruition- it all has considerably improved not only my life, but... me.
It's a hell of a limitation to decide not to participate in 'modern economy'(or modern health care for that matter, hah, a whole 'nother bowl of nachos). I have found that a bare minimal participation seems difficult to avoid- property taxes for one, but it seems most everything I can do and provide for myself, while still preserving a fulfilling, quality lifestyle. I've learned that people throw away the most amazing things and over the past few years have all but impressed myself with what I can do just living off the 'waste' of the rest of the world. It's something to have a 'need' and get to the point where you can just design and make it out of what you have available.
On the dating front... oh boy.
I don't date... least not by the definition I grew up with and certainly not by the modern standard(what's facebook?). Resigning myself to just going it alone for the duration at this point seems unwise to attempt. It's me rationalizing my situation, I think. Fact is... I do want a partner in all this. The older I get, that seems to be more important. I have no desire to leave a 'legacy'... but it does seem a waste to think of all I put into all this being for naught when I go. I've learned a lot about my own perceptions, definitions and expectations on that front, however... and Marie Antoinette Romances be damned... I'm fairly certain I'm not going to find that great love either on the interwebs or at my age, hah. My pragmatism and logic have sort of smothered out my blindness from years gone by- and I realize that going into all this with a partner would have meant developing it and ourselves together... in our youth, we were so fluid and malleable... but now we're all cleary defined people who are what we have become. So many of us are fixed in our locations, our habits, our expectations of life and everything else... Easy to get a little pessimistic on the 'finding someone front'.
But... wouldn't it be something?
Sorry for the rambly train wreck of an update- hope there was some sense of clarity in there somewhere.
Thanks for the kind words. It's very nice to read someone taking the time to express interest. I hope the best for you and all of us.
I get online these days for a month at a time, every so often.
Back to the grind- fall's coming and the weather seems to have broken- at least for a week or so!