Jennifer Richardson wrote:I’ll play! The brutally honest version:
First and most crucially, I want a man whose company I don’t feel relieved to be rid of/actually look forward to being around. There are lots of really great men who, through no fault of their own, do not meet this criteria. I am an introvert and a loner, so it is extremely rare for me to not think, after any given social engagement, including virtually all dates, “Thank god, now I can take off all my clothes and sprawl out and read about rope splicing or whatever in BLESSED SILENCE without anyone existing near me. YAY.” And then, if he wants to see me again, I am like, “Ugh, but I was going to lie in the bathtub with my tea and think about trees, I will tell him I already have plans.” This filter is honestly kind of a problem for me, and is probably 98% of the reason I’m still single. Things that help him along include him liking to read, liking his alone time, being an interesting and wide-ranging conversationalist, being able to hang out without having to socialize or be entertained constantly, and generally having other interests he can go pursue without hanging on me all the time. Things that kill it include coming on too strong, being “charming” or flattering (this just makes me uncomfortable), being too puppyish, being a go-go-go-let’s-party-let’s-go-do-something excessively energetic type, generally being demanding or pushy or critical (as a personality trait or pattern of behavior), or being a boring dude with no significant interests or opinions (if his main hobbies are watching TV and sports, RUN).
I want to be physically attracted to the guy. I don’t have a single “type”; I can fall for tall/dark/exotic, or kind of delicate/pale & interesting/scholarly type, or urbane and gentlemanly, or outdoorsy in a particular way, but I must confess that the beer-gutted, balding, doughy-torso-shirtless-lawn-mowing good ol’ boys of my hometown don’t generally do it for me. All that being said, there was one guy I had a totally mysterious crush on in my early twenties; he was about my height (5’6”), pale in a kind of dead fish way, borderline obese, had a bushy black beard (I don’t like facial hair), and had these goofy round rosy cheeks and a general resemblance to a garden gnome. He literally lived in his parents’ basement and lived off Mountain Dew and played video games in all his free time. I tried to seduce him with tabletop gaming and long discussions about our favorite fantasy novels, but he never would take the bait. Point being, sometimes you feel it, sometimes you don’t, often it makes no sense, but there’s gotta be a spark.
I can go for a pretty wide age range, from about 19 to mid/late 40s (I’m 30), maybe even a bit older if they carry it with panache, but my preference is someone about my own age.
I really prefer to be in charge of things, in terms of general life plans and how things are done. Like, I am not a control freak and do not at ALL want to micromanage anyone ever, but if I decide there is something significant I want to be doing or somewhere I choose to go, or a project I want to take on, I am not happy being thwarted, although I can just about tolerate having to discuss it with someone first, and can maybe compromise? I would almost always rather give up the relationship than give up whatever thing it is I have decided to do. This is an especially hard row to hoe, in that I often want to do non-mainstream things (homesteading, long-distance hiking, living in my vehicle or aboard a boat, etc.) and there are not an enormous number of guys who are willing to just shrug and go along with that. Even fewer of them who are not spineless deadbeats or excessively woo-woo hipsterish sensitive artist/musician types (not really my thing, especially if they use drugs, and regular/heavy drinking/drugs are a no). He doesn’t necessarily have to join in with all my projects, just not hassle me about doing what I want and/or be willing to tag along when necessary, but it would be cool if we could partner up on some of my weird enthusiasms. I would be willing to go along with some of his stuff too...unless I think it’s dumb or boring.
Obviously I would eventually need to be in love with the man and be certain that he loved me back, as a complete person of whom he actually has some understanding. I need to trust the guy and be trusted. Mutual respect and admiration. Intellectual rapport. Compatible senses of humor. We can’t stress each other out all the time or make each other miserable on an ongoing basis. The basics.
...pretty sure I’m going to be single forever, but luckily I don’t mind.
Hi everyone! So. Floaters are caused when the vitreous jelly in the eyeball starts to thicken and pull away from the inside wall of the eye. They're inside the eyeball, so I can't see (ha!) how eyewash would make them go away. They're actually the shadow cast on the retina by clumps of vitreous matter within the eye They're usually not harmful, and have a variety of causes, mostly (but not always) aging. Flashes are caused by bits of vitreous rubbing on the retina and again, are usually not harmful. If you've had them for a while, you're probably fine, but if they star to change or increase, or you get shadows across your vision, see a doctor immediately. Those are symptoms of a detaching retina, and you have a limited amount of time to fix it. Honey on the eyelid is not a cure for this, and the guy in the link says the same thing, so it's not just me... Hope this helps.
Sonja Draven wrote:This touches on some things from this thread and has been true for me.