I can apprehend the sense of frustration and conflicting desires inherent in your initial post. And I have read the replies from others, many containing wondefully helpful suggestions and ideas that might make life easier in your situation. This community is always filled with a positive spirit of communally wanting to help solve problems and ease burdens. And I, too, have tried to confront conflicts such as yours in living my own life. I am 75 and I have heated with wood since I was 24, for more than 50 years now. And I have come to some conclusions about this.
At the root of your dilemma seems to be a shortage of time to accomplish all the tasks you have set for yourself. Maybe you find yourself in a "lifestyle" that does not suit you well.
I have at times been a wage or salary "slave," often doing such work for others to meet financial needs. And the shortage of time to do things I enjoyed was a big source of frustration then. My times at home or on Holiday were very precious and ended much too soon. Going to work was an unpleasant chore.
If this sounds familiar, read on. If not, don't bother with the rest. If this is wide of the mark then the assumption I have made is not relevant, so skip the rest of my post.
For me, heating our home with wood that I gather and prepare myself, and having bonfires on the patio, gives great satisfaction to me and others. I thusly have control of an important requirement in life - warmth, sometimes also cooking outside, and the very real but hard-to-describe sense of continuity with those throughout the ages who have engaged in this activity. I feel connected with the life around me and within me. Not only human life, but all life. We are all part of Something Great (call It what you will) and fire is one of the primal forces at our disposal.
Looking back, I have been able to shift my life and work activities toward a more satisfying and less stressful direction. Maybe your sense of conflict stems from a similar desire as I felt. Permaculture should, by definition, lead toward sustainable and satisfying life activities.
Heating with wood uses a sustainable, growth-based resource that is simple to manage.
Heating with gas uses a resource derived from unsustainable practices; from any angle of consideration - environmental, economic, social, political, historical, using petroleum in this way leads to dead ends.
Heating with wood can be under one's direct control. This takes physical effort and some planning, yes; but so also does everything we do in our lives. How does one want to use the time one has?
Using petroleum puts one at the mercy and under the control of merciless and apparently unscrupulous persons and corporate structures that seem unable to perceive human needs or environmental problems.
Finally comes a very practical and immediate consideration for me, and I feel certain for others in this Permie community also - physical activity. I have embraced the age-old principle "use it or lose it." At 75 I can still cut, split, and wheelbarrow my wood to the shed. True, I now use a wheelbarrow powered by an electric hub motor for uphill runs. I believe my good health depends greatly on physical activity.
And managing my small piece of paradise lets me feel that I will be able to finally leave my land "better than I found it." This also is very important to me.
"Ya pays yer money and ya makes yer choices."
Be well, be strong, be careful, be kind. Peace.
Michael in Wonder
Southern Oregon
