Hi lady, I'm another lady who is impressed by your post and your honesty and clarity. I am wondering if you've ever heard of The Ringing Cedars Series by Vladimir Megre (about a woman living without belongings in the woods of Russia - her name is Anastasia). I have loved reading it.
(It's kind of hard to find so I could help with that - I think it's best in print, but some folks have scanned them in online) ...
The USA Anastasia Foundation just formed and they just started an online forum. One of the things it helps is with is finding a mate to create a family domain with. I think a pre-requisite is to have read at least some of the books, to be on a similar wavelength with similar mindset.
https://anastasia.foundation/
They have Zoom calls, YT videos, and links to folks building these family homesteads.
Ruth