J,
Your experience matches mine perfectly. Originally I had visions of beans, corn, oats, wheat, etc. growing in terraces to meet all my caloric needs, but mice, deer, rabbits would get to them even as they flowered. Over time I realized that whatever my intentions, whatever the books said, things would go in their own direction, especially since I was well versed in the philosophy of Masanobu Fukuoka. Some good friends keep a very neat organic garden, well fenced, well weeded, and they work to kill or keep out any pests or predators. This works for them. But for me, I don’t feel like I could ever make nature my enemy even to that extent, so I work with the land and belong to it instead of trying to claim a piece of it for my own. It turned out that, with that grain I desperately wanted but could never get to ripen, I would later fall ill and find that I had to forsake all grains entirely as a way of coming back to my health.
These days I am willing to let anything go, no matter how precious it seems. I checked in the garden today and it seemed as if my one chinese yam had been eaten. Maybe some more will pop up from the bulblets, or maybe not. But for me, something is only precious if they will grow without being forced to, like all kinds of love—Paul Wheaton has the saying “obligation is poison” that I like.
Masanobu Fukuoka likens the human’s place in nature to a marriage. The beginner in “Hinayana” or lesser natural gardening is like a person proposing, not fully steady but humbly committed to learning the ways of nature, but the adept of “Mahayana” or greater natural gardening is to be comfortably married with nature. In human relationships, giving space seems to me to be paramount—both to oneself and to the other—so too with natural gardening. Nature needs the space to have its own agency just as we do, and when we give that space to both, there can be thriving. Trying to control everything can be exhausting and a dead end, like an unhappy marriage; allowing what happens to happen and working with that, is a relief and a blessing.
I’m thinking about garlic, a plant which turned out to be wonderful for my climate. I started by planting them everywhere, and where they did well, I planted more. Earlier today I replanted more garlic to different spots where I think they’ll thrive. Camass is spreading, too—my neighbor’s ordinary sort is doing much better than the kind I ordered, which, strangely enough, turned out variegated. Parsnips were already here in great abundance, and orpine too, a good survival food (starchy root vegetable that can be harvested all times, though bitter). Earthworks and humanure have been very helpful techniques in increasing the fertility and life-giving capacity of the land, along with adding woody debris either by burying or just by laying it on the ground. Black raspberries sprout up all on their own, and die out in old patches just as quickly as they started. I took cuttings of native black currants from a patch a ways away, which I never was there to see if they fruited or not, and when I brought them home they grew lots of delicious berries. You never quite know what will take or where—they decide for themselves where to grow!