Jay Reyh

Oh wow, I also just realized this post is SUPER old.  Whoops!  I just followed a different link to get here so I'm not sure if you're even around still.  Sorry for posting to such an old thread!

You actually look oddly familiar to me... I wonder if we've met?  (I guess it's hard to know without a face to see, lol!)  We're in BC, Canada.

Anyways, you sound rad, and have a lot of similarities to my partner and I.  He's an old punk too (still a punk at heart, just mellowed out a little now!) and we're doing a similar thing, but in Canada.

If you ever wanna chat, just to connect, feel free to shoot me a PM and we can take it to emails.    We're actually visiting a friend in Oregon this fall/winter as we do some travelling in the States.  If things seem cool, and we click OK, we'd be happy to talk permaculture over coffee or something (just as friends) if you wanna!  Always lots to learn.

Cheers!

Hey Tony!  For some reason I didn't see this reply right away.

It's zone 6a (mostly) in the region, and the season is around 120 days.  It's considered a nice sheltered microclimate within NS that has a lot more sunny days and a long, warm fall; good for agriculture.  There's a lot more info on the specifics if you want to look into 'Annapolis Valley growing conditions'.  

I hope your monumental changes are good ones that leave you better off!

Oh, and the land is in the Annapolis Valley, so it's decent for growing.  We did a lot of searching and research before we picked it up!  

I'm totally a dry-farming, desert raised, hottest-part-of-the-Okanagan grower from experience, with a little bit of 'way up north' growing, so I do need to probably adapt a little bit to go from 'trying to keep plants wet enough' to 'trying to keep plants from drowning' in the maritmes but I'm pretty sure I'll figure it out!  I think composting will be somewhat easier as we're always struggling here with water use, and keeping things wet enough without costing an arm and a leg paying for water - so with rain falling from the sky on a regular basis, I think I'll be pretty quick to adapt!  I don't know for sure, but I think it'd be harder going from 'generally too wet' to 'dry and scorching and regularily on fire'.  

I do love the rain, snow and storms, though, and we have a bunch of family out East and just the tiniest ghost of an accent to confuse people (People always think I'm Irish, for some reason; probably the pale complexion, lol).  So, we're excited.  Sometimes I think there are places here in the hot, dry parts of BC that might be unsustainable if things continue the way they're going with weather.

Anyways, I've triggered that 'way too excited about plants and stuff' novel-writing part of me, so I'll try to keep myself contained, lol.  I don't come on here that often 'cause I'm usually too busy farming and running my art business, and I find I spend a lot of time typing when I get into all this stuff I'm passionate about.

@Craig (I'm not actually sure how to tag people in these boards as I haven't done it yet, but we'll go with that for now!) We're actually in NS!  How's Panama?  Just there for a visit?  

@Christopher - I didn't want to put too much detail into the exact specifics as we're somewhat flexible on where we go with it at this stage, and it kind of depends.  BUT, since you asked -- it's a little over 100 acres.  Not HUGE for a massive cattle farmer or something, but definitely workable for a lot of other projects.  We've had the land for over 10 years; it's been our goal for most of my life, and now my partner is on that path with me as well.  We've just stuck around BC for the past few years raising a family, getting out of debt, and trying to sell our other houses.  (Which will ideally be within the next 2 years if our rent-to-own tenants go through with purchasing!)

We definitely want to maintain 'separate' lives; we don't want to be living on top of people.  Even in our current relationship, it's important that everybody has their own personal space to retreat to.  We've considered separate but neighboring residences set up for some privacy, and we've also considered  having a larger home, but 'divided' completely by doors and walls so everybody has their own entrance and privacy and soundproofing -- the point being to have people's own space and own lives.  We're not looking to put everybody into one big happy family, because that probably won't ever work out well outside of fantasy.  If everybody has the CHOICE to spend time together, and the choice to live kind of separately -- as long as things are amicable and communication is healthy, we totally don't mind having 'weird quiet neighbor Steve who's a really cool guy, but mostly just wants to spend 10 hours in his shop making baskets and come around once in a while to enjoy a bonfire and some shared dinners.'

A lot of the housing part depends on the permitting -- we've looked into thing a bit, and it seems pretty flexible in what CAN be done, but we haven't sat down with the municipality to actually lay out our exact options simply because we're not at that point yet.  I felt it would be a waste of effort to pre-emptively plan for, say, a specific series of small homes, or an RV setup, if we end up out there with just our family wanting to build one cordwood cabin.  In that case, we'd be looking at getting permitted to build an RV pad with hookups, so we could live there while building something more labour-intensive but less costly, like, for example, cordwood.  And then, in the end, have an RV pad already built for whatever.  (Visitors, potential people who might wanna stay a bit, etc).

We've also thought a good amount about finances.  Seeing as we've been doing farmshare a while, we know it's best to get everything laid out into a contract that's well-though out between parties so nobody ends unhappy with things.  (As much as it would be nice to live in a fantasy where everybody always gets along and things are perfect, lol!)

One train of thought was that if we had the right people, and they wanted to come out and build their own home, if that's the way things went, they could put the time and their own funds into their own house, with our help to build, and have a contract in place so that if they were to leave, the home could be 'bought out' so they're not leaving their investment.

Another train of thought we had, which was where we were going to go anyways if we don't find people before we go out there, is just to go out when we're ready, build ourselves a home, and then build a second one and offer it with low rent, to very well-vetted permaculture-minded people.

We've also tossed around the idea of having a low monthly rent for such housing, like $200 or so, depending on things -- to put into an account for shared expenses, so, if something needed improving to do with everyone (ie, someone's solar power system needed updating, or a well fix, etc), that would be available.  And at the same time, we've also simply tossed around the idea of building living space and charging a relatively low rent, but with the option to workshare a bit.

Another idea we've thought about is that if we aren't quite ready to go out there yet, because of aging family, but somebody WAS ready, (again, somebody that we had a chance to meet and build trust with) and had the means to start building a home, or an RV pad, and had some goals that were able to be in line with ours -- for example, planting a garden; working on building more, putting in some fruit trees, tapping maple, etc, we could arrange something there, so that the land was being utilized in productive ways, and it wasn't just sitting idle.  I have a bit of anticipation about being here in BC when I know I could be, for example, putting asparagus or berry bushes or fruit trees in the ground that could benefit from time.

One of the things that's a bit more idealistic for potentially later on, but in line with my beliefs, is that it would be neat, if we have several housing situations, to make a senior-friendly one or two, for some people who want to tend a small garden or just live that kind of life, and have the support of people around them.  In that case, my thought was, there might be an opportunity there for some workshare that would be meaningful and do-able, like, say, tabling with a partner at a farmer's market, and doing that would be able to contribute to a workshare that would lower rent costs and still be very helpful, while having people around who could help with life, like cooking/cleaning/company and driving out to appointments.  I don't know how that comes across, but I'm just being honest with my feelings here; I have a soft spot for people who are aging but can't do what they used to be able to do, and I think it's pretty awful that so many seniors are priced out of renting and potentially unable to enjoy the kind of spaces that make them happy.  And I know for a fact there are some cool seniors out there who are my kind of people; decent and easygoing and good at getting along, basically.  People with their own passions and interests and the ability to be good with others.

We've also thought that if someone is doing their own permaculture activities,  we'd all be meeting and agreeing and getting a contract in place to make sure things are amicable (ie, somebody doesn't decide to, say, cut down all the trees, or start breeding rodeo bulls without proper fencing or something), they would just make their own income.  I don't want financial ties to other people's enterprises; I just want to be able to share space with people with common goals that we get along with-- ie, maybe we all help with composting, or maybe some people have bees and some have rotationally grazed lambs and some have a flower farm and we can problem solve and help each other, ideally, in a system that works - but backed up by written agreements so everybody's on the same page.

I hope that doesn't come across as being crazy about contracts.  I'm totally not that way at all; I'd much rather live in a world we can all amicably talk about issues and overcome them, but I know better, lol.  Having a written agreement just makes it fair for everybody, and things can always be revisited if they need to change.  I'm all about mutual open communication and problem-solving to make things as ideal as they can be.

Oh, I did forget to mention, but remembered last night -- I'm not obsessed with off-grid or anything.  I like sustainable, and efficient, and I like working things into systems as much as possible, but I'm not opposed to, for example, solar power, or technology, or even being connected to the grid for conveniences like the internet and, say, washing machines.  I can certainly live WITHOUT those things, I'm very outdoorsy and low-maintenance, but if they can be used in healthy ways to make life better, I'm all for it.  There is power to the road on this property, and the ability to put in a well if needed.  Our intent is to grow food and create things that can be used and sold to improve access to people and improve communities.  I'd prefer to provide value to more people in a nearby community, by, say, becoming a reliable supplier of various produce and goods, rather than simply existing to only provide for my own family, if that makes sense.  I think a healthy community and good connections to good people, even if they're not immediately involved in your operations directly, is a good way to exist.  I came from a small town and I guess I never really left.  

Anyways, I'm passionate as hell about all this stuff so don't be scared that I type novels for replies.  I'm actually much quieter and focused on animal husbandry and getting lots of work done in real life -- but if you get excitedly chatting about your passions and they have anything to do with animals, nature, permaculture, plant science, psychology, dogs, genetics, sustainability, the human experience, innovative farm techniques, nutrition, etc... I am SO there.   XD

Oh!  I should add -- I've been around a while on Permies, just wanted to start this on a new account in case I get any really weird replies or stalker-type people!  I'd love to use my main, but this is the internet, where anybody could be hanging out.  Just being safer!  

Hey all!

This post might read a little strange to some.  Bear with me!  Feel free to message me with questions if you find yourself interested but want to know more.  I'm going to try and keep this short, because I often get WAY too detailed in my typed posts and I'm also pretty tired so it might go in circles a bit, but I've been sitting on whether or not I should post for a while now, and I feel like I should just jump into it.

My name is slightly changed because honestly, I'm a bit terrified putting my exact name on a forum where I'm making a dating post.  I know there's a lot of weird out there and we're only looking for our specific brand of weird!  

I'm 34, female.  My partner and I (male) are looking for friends and compatible permaculture people, for the most part.  In the right circumstances, and with the right chemistry, either or both of us could also be open to new relationships, but that's currently not our focus.

We're both open to polyamory.  I've always been pretty poly-minded.  Neither of us are actively dating anybody else right now, and we're not the 'sleep around a bunch' types; we're more of the 'close knit community of like-minded people' types, and if intimacy is a thing that works in that situation with the right people and the right chemistry, so be it.  We've been basically mostly monogamous (he's dated a few people, nothing serious came of those relationships other than good friends), for the past 12 years together.

We have land in eastern Canada.  It's quite large; no house on it yet.  We've been keeping an eye out for several years for the right kinds of people.  
The reason we aren't out there farming yet is because I have aging family here in BC, so we're doing some farmshare-type things around here and doing what we can to practice permaculture/regenerative farming while we save up a bit more and figure out what the exact plan is going forward, once we're ready to move.

I'm really big on meeting someone and getting to know them well FIRST.  I'm happy to chat online, but until I really know you a bit more, and we actually meet down the line to see if there's relationship or romantic chemistry, it's not like we can get into the expectation of a relationship right off the bat.

So, ideally, we're looking for permaculture-type people that we can really click with, because the ultimate goal is to have several people or families that want to do their own projects, or share some projects, on a big piece of land.  We can go out and do it ourselves, but the land is so huge, and the scope of possibilities and permaculture is so wide, there's more than enough opportunity and land for multiple people to do things that all build into each other.  I know how busy farm life is; I'd rather see several like-minded people or families working adjacently, or even together if they shared goals (ie, rotating livestock, or, like, beekeping and flower growing, etc), rather than just go it totally alone on a huge property.

On the dating note, it's just an option if certain people click in that direction and wants to go that way.  Just to be clear -- we're not subtlely making a weird sex commune or anything -- we're just looking for the people we get along with well enough to live adjacent to as our #1 goal, and in the right kind of circumstance with the right chemistry, we COULD be open to polyamorous dating with me, him, or even both, IF things went that way.  It'd be the same as a monogamous person going 'Hey, I wanna find cool people I can live with on a large property to share permaculture goals and/or do their own farm/growing/project things.  I'm a single person who COULD date in the right circumstances but that's not specifically what I'm seeking.'

We're queer friendly, though we're not immersed deeply in the 'culture' ourselves.  We were both pretty androgynous in our youth, but we've grown into being pretty cool with our gender.  We're also totally open to people of different ages.  We find quite 'young' people in their early 20's sometimes less easy to connect with, simply because we're beyond that stage, but there are plenty of super young people who are probably pretty cool and mature.  I am also totally happy with older people; it takes all types.

We're pretty relaxed, easygoing, etc.  I work hard, and I take certain things seriously, but I think we're fairly easy to get along with and open-minded.

I'm really heavy into farming, fishing, and nature in general.  I also run my own business as an artist doing various things.  I'm an insanely hard worker, to a fault, but I'm learning to try and take things easier sometimes.  I have lots of things l like, but most of them revolve around outdoor stuff.  I'm super friendly, but more of an introvert as I could spend a good amount of time alone and not really NEED company.  I do really love being around people on the same page, though.  Mostly just honest, open; easygoing, friendly types.  It helps if we can share interests like nature, farming, science, etc - but I find I can get along with just about anybody who isn't playing social games.

He's up for camping and doing whatever I'm into and helping where he's needed, but his interests are less in farming/outdoor stuff and more in computers, gaming, tabletop RPG, and stuff like that.  He's the social butterfly.

We both like board games and some computer games to relax sometimes; reading, etc.  I could take or leave TV/movies/games but I do chill with things once in a while in our current lifestyle and it's pretty easy for me to enjoy most things like that.

We're both heavy into science, learning and reading, along with chatting about stuff like that.  I'm a big animal and genetics nerd; I got heavy into dog training for a while.
Neither of us are religious.  He was raised Mormon but certainly isn't one now.
We don't subscribe to a strong particular political belief system.  We HAVE beliefs and thoughts on government policies and all that as they come into our lives, but we don't base any strong part of our identity around that.

Pot is legal here; neither of us smoke it.  I'm OK with the oil on occasion for relaxing and pain relief or whatever; neither of us do any hard drugs.  I have no problem with responsible psychedelic use occasionally but neither of us really does that either lately.
I don't really drink, though there's a GREAT haskap wine we found recently that I would probably go for.  It just doesn't really do my body good.  He has a casual drink or two while playing tabletop games with friends.  Neither of us have substance abuse problems and we'd really like to avoid getting in with people who haven't solved those dependencies yet.  (It's cool if you do your thing, just, we don't really want or need it)

While we're quite open to meeting different kinds of people of different beliefs and faiths and walks of life, we do know we have some things that don't really fit that well with our personalities.
-Aggression or anger issues.  (We're easygoing and problem-solving; we don't really want people around who might put a hole in a wall or start breaking things if they get mad.)
-Dishonesty.  If you're lying, we really have no place for that kind of thinking.  Just be you.
-Pet rodents.  I have NOTHING against them, I just am horribly allergic to rats and mice these days due to sensitivities built up when I used to keep them.
-Substance abuse or serious addictions (hard drugs, alchohol issues, gambling addictions, etc) -- just not something we want to add into our lives to deal with the fallout from.  Looking for people who have their stuff mostly figured out in that department.  I don't really know if smoking would be a dealbreaker but neither of us are big fans.

Things we really appreciate in people:
- Honesty and mutual respect
- Open communication (If problems arise, we need to always be able to trust that we can work things out with the people around us via clear communication; we don't play mind games or make people guess and we don't like doing it.
-Decent hygiene -- just the basics.  I certainly come in from outside covered in god knows what and sweaty on basically a daily basis (Welcome to farm life!), but if someone has, for example, a mouth of rotting teeth or a persistent terrible odor; I'm sorry, it's just probably not going to be a great fit lifestyle-wise.

Things we're totally cool with (not a complete list:)
-families or people with kids
-people of different ages, ethnicities, backgrounds, sexual orientations
-pets and animals  - within reason; if you have a pitbull with known aggression issues, or like to handle live cobras without locking enclosures, it might be a problem, for example.  Otherwise, bring it on.  I'm a reptile enthusiast/former herpetologist myself!

Things we are not super interested in:
- Serious conspiracy beliefs (ie, reptilians running the government, drinking bleach for health, etc - sorry, we just lived with someone like this in the family; it's not our jam.  We're open to new beliefs but we like to view them through the lense of scientific analysis and intelligent critical thinking, and we find that reasoning with people who have their mind fully made up, in any direction, becomes more of a headache than an enjoyable life)
- Serious political agendas that make up a large part of one's identity
- Strong religious convictions that guide your relationships or actions towards others.  (We are totally OK with religion!  We have Mormon family who are awesome people and we could totally live with them!  But, if you're very tied to your religion to the point that it affects how you feel about other people's actions, we may not be that compatible.  IE -- our Mormon family doesn't judge us for drinking coffee; they don't do it, but they don't judge us for it either.
- Hatred or bigotry to any particular group.  If you see people as individuals, and some of them suck, that's cool, but if you think all ____'s are the worst, we probably won't get along that well!
- People who are looking for a free ride or an easy way to escape life.  (Sorry!  If you're not able to hold any kind of job or don't have any ambition, I don't think a farm shared with other people (or at least, us) where you'd ideally want to make something of life, is a good fit for us.)


We like to avoid a lot of processed food and all that for health reasons as often as we can, but we're pretty open to eating just about anything.  IE - neither of us will say no to going out for dinner, and don't have serious dietary restrictions.  So, we're not opposed to a vegetarian/vegan lifestyle, we just personally utilize animals in the most humane ways we can to improve soil health and fertility, and work with animals in our permaculture systems, and we do eat meat as well.



So, that was pretty rambling, but hopefully it gives a starting point.  If you want to chat, feel free to send me a message -- BUT, please don't message me if you know you aren't compatible in major ways; IE - let's say you're REALLY devoutly religious and could never be on board with living near poly people or 'queer friendly' people, or you were horrified by the idea of processing our own meat -- it's not gonna work.

I've probably painted a weird picture instead of a good one, but it's been a long day, so hopefully the gist of this gets through.  I'm probably a lot more positive and friendly than I'm coming off in the email -- but I DO want to give a clear picture of what we DON'T want so that I can avoid struggling through those kinds of conversations.  I've had one or two on this site so far, and it's not very fun.  I'm a pretty sensitive person -- tough, but also empathetic, so I don't exactly enjoy rough conversations with people who are, for example, angry at me for my political alignment (or lack thereof), or for eating meat.  Y'know?  :)

Essentially, we're trying to open things up to start meeting like-minded people who we can click with, personality-wise, to potentially think about coming out to the East Coast with us and help build some homes (we're looking at cordwood building and other methods that will be reasonably inexpensive.  We're totally open to 'just friends' or other families, singles or couples who have good ideas and a decent work ethic of their own, and might see this as an opportunity.

We're also poly, so if feelings were to start to develop for either (or both) of us, and someone else was on board with that kind of relationship, it COULD be a possibility, but there's no accounting for chemistry without getting to know people first.

So, please be cool and reasonable if you're gonna message me.  We're super open-minded, but I really don't want someone to jump in thinking I'm open to a relationship right off the bat, or to start planning for that.  We're just putting feelers out for trying to find other people who might want a permaculture lifestyle and who might actually be on board for forming a real community-type relationship to move forward with.


Some quick bits I probably forgot:
-The land has no homes on it yet.  My first step would be to figure out exactly what CAN be built permitting-wise, based on who's on board and what the plan is.
-It has water (creek) and of course, plenty of rain.  Large mature trees.  Somewhat near the ocean, not close enough to sink when the icecaps all melt, and close to a small-ish town.
-We're tossing around various ideas about what we want to do going forward.  Part of that thinking is potentially 'can we find people we would trust enough to be on the land doing their own projects while we're still in BC?
-We really want to just start casually meeting people who have goals/dreams of doing things on land and working with others so we can see if we can move in that direction with others on board with us.   We don't want/need your labor or finances.  We're going to build our own home regardless.  We would just, ideally, prefer to farm/homestead/do permaculture and live with other like-minded people.

If you have any interest in chatting further, feel free to message me.  Hopefully I didn't scare everybody off with my rambling!

Oh; for an idea of our current lifestyle, we're currently doing: (on our farmshare)
-Raising rabbits rotationally on pasture
-Putting in a market garden this year
-Working with a different farmer marketing their extra haskaps (honeyberries)
-Homeschooling our child (who is neurodivergent) as they were finding the school environment too stressful.
-Waiting for lambing season with the landowner's hair sheep
-Getting chicks this spring to raise on pasture on rotation as well.  (building soil fertility, yay!) (already have 'conventional' laying hens here as well)
-Running my art business.
-Partner is working off-site at a 'regular' job to pay some bills.
-In our free time -- visiting ailing parents, reading a bunch of books (mostly about dogs, permaculture, science, homeschooling and whatever else seems interesting), playing some Overwatch and some Wolfquest with my daughter.  :)
-Sometimes visiting (mostly queer friendly) friends in the nearby areas for board game nights and fancy food dinners.  (Man, they can cook!)

Cheers!  If I don't answer right away, I'm not ignoring you, I probably just haven't checked my messages yet.