I have been using "Faith In Nature" bar shampoo (and their liquid conditioner) for the last 2 years, while my wife uses Kirk's 3-in-1. Sometimes I use hers on a whim and vice versa. I have fairly dry hair while hers is very oily, and we've been extremely happy with both of these products.
I can't speak to how these would affect your fruit trees, as our grey water only drains to daylight currently, but I believe both products fit your requirements. May be worth a try?
