So it sounds like you want to dump the laundry +
shower + basin + kitchen sink
water into a pond, about 80gallons per day per person. And how to neutralize the waste
Lets list the things that need to be neutralized:
-Grease
-Food Particles
-Clothes Particles
-Particles in Mop
bucket
-Hair
-Pathogenic Bacteria
-Nitrates
-Phosphates
-Bleach
-Chemicals
1) I would start out with a filter to trap the big particles like food, hair, clothes, etc
2) Next I would are a matrix to host good microbes, maybe add some kefir good microbes or worm tea once a day.
3) Next I would add some mushrooms/plants to use up all of the excess nitrates, phosphates, oils/grease, etc
4) I would add a buffer than can react with/absorb/inactivate the chemicals
5) I would increase the oxygen levels in the system/water.
I would create an indoor system to pre-treat the water as much as possible (think earthship with there indoor 12ft-50ft hydroponic planter box)
Then once the "clean" water finally makes it to the cold and dormant outside it is already "clean"
Now there are some things that you can do to help reduce the load on the system:
-Less chemicals by making your own soaps with only 3 ingredients (8part oil, 3part water, 1part lye)
-Less chemicals by using vinegar as much as possible
-Less particulates by scraping out your dirty plates and pots really good before you start washing it
-Less particulates by emptying your pants pocket
-Less grease by not pouring your grease/oil/fats into the sink
So my indoor setup would be
1) Flood and drain filter
2) Mulch+Mushroom Flood and drain filter
3) Aerobic Aquarium tank with bubbler
4) Algae Aquarium Tank
5) Post Filter
Note (I think some red wriggles
should be somewhere in this system)