Dennis Barrow

Got these from the Backwoods Home email:


What do you call a sad cup of coffee?
Depresso


Why is coffee sometimes called mud? Because it was ground a minute ago.


Just been in to Starbucks and the barista was wearing a face mask

I asked "Why are you wearing a surgical mask?"

She said "I'm not, it's a coughy filter."


A yawn is just a silent cry for coffee.


This morning I made coffee with Redbull instead of water. After 15 minutes on the highway, I realized that I had left the car at home.


An engineer, a physicist, a mathematician, and a philosopher are at a coffee house.
The physicist says, "You know, engineering is just applied physics," and they all laugh. The mathematician says, "You know, physics is just applied math," and they all laugh again. Then the philosopher says, "Well, you know, math is just applied philosophy," and the engineer says, "Shut up and make our coffee."


"Doctor, Every time I drink coffee I get pain in my eye."
"Take the spoon out of your cup."


A newlywed couple lay in bed one morning husband says: "How about you go brew us some coffee?"
Wife: "That's your job."
Husband: "Says who?"
Wife : "The bible, it's on just about every page."
Husband: "The bible don't say anything about brewing coffee."
Wife (Holding her Bible flipping pages): "See every page Hebrews, Hebrews, Hebrews."



The Boss always insisted that only Abdul should serve his coffee, but yesterday, this conversation happened.

Boss: "Abdul, since the last 8 years you have brought me coffee filled to the brim without spilling even a drop. How do you manage that over these stairs?"

Abdul: "Sir, just before I climb up the stairs, I take a big sip. As I get upstairs, I put it back."

Today is Abdul's farewell party.

Back when the wife and I were still newlyweds, 1980, we got a dog from the pound.  He was a real mix of blood lines.  Heinz 57?  maybe Heinz 85. lol

Well, we brought him home and getting him settled.   I got a fire going to warm up the house.

We didn't think about the dog and wood stove.

The dog was sniffing the stove and all of a sudden licked the door!!!   Sizzling sound of his tongue burning!!  Vet said it would heal on its own.  It did, but was an agonizing few months for that pup.  And he stayed well away from that stove for the rest of his life!

Hot chocolate and Schnapps!

We have been 6 years without a lawn, but wife is talking about growing a small lawn around our back patio.
It would only be around 300 sq ft of lawn, but enough for the grandkids to play on and us to enjoy the green.  Gravel right now.
It could get expensive.  I will have to bring in a LOT of soil for it.   Then there is the seed or should I go with sod?  Thinking seed would allow me to choose the grass type.
I have a mower, so that is not a new expense.
Personally, I would rather put the money into soil for the garden.  Always expanding it and I don't have topsoil worth talking about here.

A police office arrives at the scene of an accident in which a car hit a tree.

The cop rushes over to the car and asked the driver, "Are you seriously hurt?"

"How should I know" replied the man, "I'm not a lawyer."

Back in the early 70's I was going to a Community College here in Montana trying to get all the basic courses out of the way and then head off to college.  I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet, but was definately leaning to outdoors work like forestry.  
I had the opportunity to cross the Bob Marshall Wilderness on XCountry skis and hiking one spring.  3 weeks. Departure was 1 week before spring finals.
One of my 6 instructors let me take the final exam early, the other 5 said "No way, not here, no grades."
I really had a wonderful time in the "Bob".
Wasn't the last of my schooling.  I didn't go back to formal education tho.  While in the Army in Europe I took several college courses offered through the military, thinking maybe of becoming an officer.
That didn't pan out as I was able to run a ski area in the Alps for the Military.

Learning new things has always been a goal of mine,  I believe it keeps my mind sharp........ maybe only like a blunt stick, but sharp as needed.  lol

Phil Stevens wrote:Another advantage my fire has is that the flue can be cleaned from the bottom. Much safer than going up on the roof.

When I built my home 6 years ago I was limited on location for the woodstove because a various factors, the main one being the wife's desire to have certain room locations.
So the stove ended up in the center of the walkout basement.   I wanted it on the end of the house so I could have a cleanout outside.  Didn't happen but that's ok.

I did design the HVAC so there is an air intake above the stove and I can just run the fan and heat the house.

I let one of my son's build his home, off grid, on my property.  The one thing I had him do is run the chimney out the side of the cabin so he could have the cleanout outside.  I usually get him to clean my chimney and everytime he does he thanks me for having him run his out the side of the cabin.  He has a 12 x 12 pitch roof and it would have been the second story to get on for clean out.

Rico Loma wrote:I typically burn well cured hardwoods to minimize creosote.  About May 1 I disassemble all pipe, take it outside on a heavy dew morning , then clean thoroughly.  
A question here for the faithful:
How many folks using standard wood stoves add 'creosote remover' granules to a monthly fire during winter?  
This product claims to crystallize the deposits and negate the danger.  I haven't used it for fear of putting vile chemical fumes into the morning air...

I have no choice but to burn pine.  It creates a lot of creosote!  
I can't get on my roof to clean the chimney when it is wet or snowy. (metal roof and I am getting ready to celebrate my 29th birthday for the 44th time in February so don't go up there.  I do get the kids to clean it in the fall or spring.)
I have used the creosote burning logs a couple of times in the middle of winter and they seem to work well.  When I had one of my kids go up and clean the chimney in the spring there was not much creosote.
They are not cheap, but cheaper than a hospital visit.

Well...........  Just harvested the potato's grown in pine needles.
Not really large ones.  About 15 lbs of mostly 2  inch to 1 inch size.   I did plant 2 varieties, one was a yellow and the other was a red potato.  The red variety did not do well in the pine needles but the few I got were much bigger than the yellow. 4 or 5 that were 3 plus inches.
The yellow ones were starting to get a scab on them, but not bad yet.

I did plant some of these same potato's in the ground next to the pine needle medium.  They did produce larger potato's and no scab starting on them.

There were a lot of small potato's, 1 inch and a bit under.  We like those small ones.  The wife cans them and they are great in the winter in stews and stuff.

Overall I liked the results.   I will do it again next year.

I "refresh" my garden by usually chopping up my harvested plants using my lawn mower with the bag to catch it all, then spread over my beds. (a lot of the plants do not chop up very good when wet.  Just gunk up the mower.  lol)
I say usually, but this year a forecast was for some rain, Maybe some snow.  I got over a foot of snow.  That was 4 days ago. Still have 6 inches or so of the white stuff.
Took 3 of the grandkids out today and raked the snow off the carrot beds and pulled carrots.  Canning them in the next few days, after the tomatoes, Canning tomatoes every other day as they get ripe.  Had to pull them 10 days ago because of a frost that was coming.  (and it came)
Tomorrow is raking more snow off my beds where the garlic is going and then raking more snow off the potato beds.
Everything is messed up for me this year, but I am hopeful of a thawing out this next week so I can get back to work in the garden.