I've been thinking along similar lines lately. I'm a true introvert who NEEDS time away from other people otherwise my head feels like it's going to explode. It really is the solitude that energizes me. But I love people. I love talking and spending time with other people. And ever since I was little I wanted to get married and have kids.
But going back to what the original poster said; dating today does feel like it's gone so...wrong. I know people date. I've even seen people date successfully. But I feel like half the time you get those people in a more private setting all they talk about is how much the other person is annoying them or they all say the same thing "don't ever get married."
It just makes me think "oh my god! Does anyone like being in a relationship?" I've never been in a serious relationship so I don't have first hand knowledge of what that's like. In my head it would go something like: you meet someone who has core values that aligned with yours. That's enough to want to get to know them better. In getting to know them, if all goes well, you develop trust and mutual respect and friendship. From that grows love and from there you decide if you want to build a life together. Simple. Easy to remember.
One problem I've come across is men who will put up a singles post and have "no free loaders." Or "I don't want a woman who's just gonna hang around the house all day." I think to myself "okay, that's a fair thing to ask. Nobody wants to be used or have a lazy partner." But then in talking to this person more or just reading more of their profile I realize "no free loaders" actually means they want the woman to be the main financial provider and they want her to work the land, keep the house, have and raise the kids, be physically available to him all the time, cook all the meals and never do or say anything that might annoy him. He basically just wants to be the task master or the idea guy.
What exactly do I get out of this relationship?
I once heard a guy say "well, men offer protection." I see. So let me get this straight. I'm supposed to work like a dog providing for you and making you happy every day for the rest of my life on the off chance that maybe possibly someday in the future you might save my life? And what happens if you don't? Well that just sucks for me doesn't it?
I do know not all men are like this. And I've also seen it flipped where the woman comes in with her long list of demands and when the guy asks her what she brings to the relationship she says "me." Yeahhhhh. Okay.
I don't have an answer as to why dating feels like hell. Does it have anything to do with being introverted? Or is it the way we go about it is all wrong?
And then to Leslie's post: do I even want a relationship? I know I can find peace and contentment in my own company. Do I really want to go through all the bother and heartache on the off chance that I might find that same peace and contentment with someone else. I don't know. I love the idea of a relationship. I'm just not certain the reality is all it's cracked up to be.
