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Bj Murrey wrote:and when you find that special someone they will know you like them because you wont be staring at a screen while they are trying to stare into your eyes! ;)
M Ljin wrote:I like the idea of being crepuscular. I feel like doing the most in the morning and evening and then resting, eating, and doing nothing midday and early afternoon. If I didn’t eat dinner I would probably wake up early every morning and get more done, then eat and nap midday. They say humans are diurnal but are we really?
M Ljin wrote:I think any social interaction that is positive can help with staying away from electronics. I’m trying to get to know more neighbors and townspeople for various reasons including that one.
It might be that group activities, like going on local nature walks, could let you meet new people. I have met some good friends and acquaintances that way. I know there is one foraging teacher active in your area whose book I have and like: https://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/tour-calendar
It is difficult as a human being but more and more I think we (human beings) are having to go out on our own, into the unknown, probing at places that we don’t remember existing; or in some cases literally places no one has gone before. It seems like a transition period we are going through and difficulty is a given. But I always find it helpful to trust in the unknown as it often seems to reveal bends in the road I never imagined were there.
I hope you find a good friend; even then the work is still hard, the road is long, the way is beautiful and terrifying. It is fine to grieve what we have come to, and it is fine to not do everything all at once and to be content with gradual progress. The wisdom we need for this positive change is slow to gather, it is hard to come by, hard to master; it will not be found in a day or even a year. But there are small places to rest, small breaks between the clouds, sun midst pouring rain, and they help us to continue.
Bj Murrey wrote:For ten years I just used a cell phone hot spot for internet communication at home. Slow but works. If I needed downloads I drove to town to McDonalds or something.
Ultimately, you alone are responsible for your actions. No one can change you for you. If you want to do anything badly enough you'll figure out a way to do it. Most dont want anything badly enough to do the hard work (always alone), to get there.
I've noticed over the years most relationships seem to be one person looking for someone to "fill a hole" in their life, and then they become "a person to blame" when it doesn't work out. Since 99% of the time, a relationship wont work, it pays to adjust your expectations now, back to reality, where you alone are responsible for you. Your feelings are yours alone. Your thoughts are yours alone. Your emotions are yours alone. The only way anyone else knows about them is always after the fact (past tense) and only if you communicate it (temper tantrums, or poetry, or silence)... But never is anyone else responsible for your reactions to any stimulus except yourself.
Practice this, now, while single, and when you meet someone, you won't 1) settle for someone who isn't working on themself already, 2) won't expect them to "heal you" of problems they are not responsible for (your reactions).
Another thing to de-tech is get a retro phone (text email only) , delete all social media apps and accounts, and live your life like 99.9999% of all humans before you have successfully done.
That was my realization over the years for myself. Hope it helps.
M Ljin wrote:I like the idea of being crepuscular. I feel like doing the most in the morning and evening and then resting, eating, and doing nothing midday and early afternoon. If I didn’t eat dinner I would probably wake up early every morning and get more done, then eat and nap midday. They say humans are diurnal but are we really?
Andy Danielson wrote:This is the closest I was able to find to NYC.
https://www.ecovillagenj.org/about/